Has anyone read these books? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 06-06-2011, 01:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm wondering if anyone has read any of the books below and could offer their opinion or recommend any other parenting books for parents who practice AP and GD. I tend to steer clear of any discipline method that is too rigid or forumla as I feel that flexibility in parenting is important especially since being flexible is one of the things my 6-year-old really struggles with. I really like Alphie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting, but I am looking for more concrete/specific methods at this point.

 

A little background: My son is a smart and well-adjusted typical kid 80 percent of the time...but the other 20 percent he is overly emotional, sensitive, compulsive/explosive and extremely inflexible. He's had a very rough first year of kindergarten and I'd like to take the summer to recharge and hopefully find some helpful books to shed some light on what triggers his violent outbursts and give suggestions for how I can help him.

 

 

by Jed Baker
 
by Lawrence J. Cohen 
 

Zachary (Jan. 16, 05), Blossom (Sept. 14, 08)
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#2 of 7 Old 06-06-2011, 02:30 AM
 
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I just finished Nancy Aldort's book (you can read about her in Ask the Experts section) and found it wonderful and illuminating.  Def AP  - her idea is when you have an autonomous and empowered child one benefit is that the need to act out and be violent lessens and your child learns how to manage their emotions rather than be managed by them.  I would really recommend it! 

The others I have not read, but hope you can find someone else who can give you other resources.

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#3 of 7 Old 06-06-2011, 11:54 AM
 
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I love "Playful Parenting." :)

 

I also really liked Alyson Shayfer's "Honey I Wrecked the Kids."  Very GD/AP.

 

Also, another favorite is "Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids".  Awesome book from an NVP standpoint.  Tons of useful ideas.

 

We also used Alan Kazdin's book with my DS.  It's a chart approach, though.  One nice thing was that it came with an instructional DVD.

 

I did not like Naomi Aldort's book at all.  Totally useless IMHO.  Her CD I bought was basically a "buy my book" and "here's a story" from my book approach.

 

 


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#4 of 7 Old 06-06-2011, 08:51 PM
 
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If you like Alfie Kohn but are looking for something more concrete I highly, highly HIGHLY recommend, Parent Effectiveness Training or P.E.T. by Dr Thomas Gordon.Please, don't let the awful name turn you off.  It's in line with Kohn's philosophy but offers more insight ( imo ) and is just a lot more thorough. I feel like Kohn's book is a ' Why parent this way'  Gordon's is a little more ' how to parent this way'.  A little, it's not formulaic which is good because that's not what you're looking for. But it gives a lot of specific examples on how to talk to kids and why you should talk to them this way. I haven't finished it yet myself but so far I think he makes some very valid points.

 

I have heard a lot of good things about Playful Parenting, I think if I read another parenting book it will be that one. I haven't heard of the other two you mentioned. My son can be quite explosive, I'm wondering if those books are in line with AP or unconditional parenting? I have also heard good things about Parents Kids and Power Struggles, anyone read that ?


Peace can not be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.- Albert Einstein

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#5 of 7 Old 06-07-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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One thing that made the biggest difference in my son's behavior was my attitude towards it.  Some nice mama here recommended http://www.livesinthebalance.org/kids-do-well-if-they-can  .  Watch the free videos, etc.  They're all based on Dr. Greene's book "The Explosive Child."  Just realizing that kids want to be well behaved...they want to do well... and to realize that if my son was having trouble with handling things, it wasn't his fault... he just didn't have the skill set to do so... was such a big change for us in how we approached everything. :)  I've used that approach with some adults too... ;)


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#6 of 7 Old 06-07-2011, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I agree! I read the explosive child and it's the best book I've read so far that most accurately describes my son. I do sometimes lose sight of the concept "that he wants to do well and just doesn't have the skillset" because his behavior is just so horrid at times, but I always come back to that and it does help put things into perspective when his teachers are throwing him in the time out room and diagnosing him with all kinds of disorders. Sigh. But thanks, I will check out this site.

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Originally Posted by umsami View Post

One thing that made the biggest difference in my son's behavior was my attitude towards it.  Some nice mama here recommended http://www.livesinthebalance.org/kids-do-well-if-they-can  .  Watch the free videos, etc.  They're all based on Dr. Greene's book "The Explosive Child."  Just realizing that kids want to be well behaved...they want to do well... and to realize that if my son was having trouble with handling things, it wasn't his fault... he just didn't have the skill set to do so... was such a big change for us in how we approached everything. :)  I've used that approach with some adults too... ;)



 


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#7 of 7 Old 06-07-2011, 04:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! I will definitely check this one out.

 

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Originally Posted by PeacemongerMom View Post

If you like Alfie Kohn but are looking for something more concrete I highly, highly HIGHLY recommend, Parent Effectiveness Training or P.E.T. by Dr Thomas Gordon.Please, don't let the awful name turn you off.  It's in line with Kohn's philosophy but offers more insight ( imo ) and is just a lot more thorough. I feel like Kohn's book is a ' Why parent this way'  Gordon's is a little more ' how to parent this way'.  A little, it's not formulaic which is good because that's not what you're looking for. But it gives a lot of specific examples on how to talk to kids and why you should talk to them this way. I haven't finished it yet myself but so far I think he makes some very valid points.

 

I have heard a lot of good things about Playful Parenting, I think if I read another parenting book it will be that one. I haven't heard of the other two you mentioned. My son can be quite explosive, I'm wondering if those books are in line with AP or unconditional parenting? I have also heard good things about Parents Kids and Power Struggles, anyone read that ?



 


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