How would you discipline a 5yr for peeing in closet? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 10-29-2011, 12:34 AM
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Originally Posted by hopefulfaith View Post

My son did that once, when he was five.  It turns out that when I had the kids go into quiet time in their rooms (30 minutes, all by yourself-time), my son thought he simply wasn't allowed to come out of his room for any reason, even to go to the bathroom, so he peed in his closet.  :(


I clarified that rule for him - and reinforced all of the stuff he needed to know (bathroom is the only place we pee in the house, etc.; we don't disrespect our home by doing this, etc.), and he hasn't done it since.




It doesn't sound like my experience is your issue, but if you rule out abuse/trauma, I'm going along with "Weird Things Boys Sometimes Do."  When my ds turned five, he was fascinated that I told him it was okay to pee behind a tree in our backyard if he couldn't make it inside.  All of a sudden, he was just waiting to pee until he could get outside to do it - there was something inherently awesome about peeing outside, and he experimented with different trees and everything (maple vs. birch vs. pine...).  /shrug/  Kids are weird sometimes.  ;)

I vividly remember my mom getting me ready for a bath, standing next to the tub, and she had forgotten a towel or something. She left the room and said "don't move, I'll be right back." I had to pee and so I just did on the floor. She got upset and I remember thinking, "but you told me not to move!" 


My guess would be he did it once out of curiosity, didn't get caught, and then it became a game. He was doing something "wrong" and so he got the feeling he was "sneaking" and probably liked it because sometimes it is fun to do "wrong." I wouldn't do anything beyond explaining why he can't do that anymore. If it continues, then I would come up with a punishment.



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#32 of 38 Old 10-29-2011, 12:46 AM
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Abnormal bathroom habits can be a sign of abuse, but usually it is just kids being kids. Boys are especially interesting with peeing. I baby sat a friend's son that insisting on peeing outside, and on the fence to boot. My sister teaches at a school on a military base. It hasn't been updated with GFCI plugs, even in the areas that get wet. One of the boys went to the bathroom, was gone awhile, and came back looking really spooked. When my sister asked what happened, he said that he peed in the bathroom, accidentally got it on an outlet, and then he saw smoke. She went into the bathroom to find that he had peed on an outlet across the room from the urinal, and it was up on the wall, as well. The pee shorted out the outlet, scorching the wall in the process. THAT was a fun call home for her that night. My other sister also teaches, and she once found human poop in a child's backpack, after inquiring about what was smeared all over the kid's library book. That's a whole different issue, though. wink1.gif

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#33 of 38 Old 09-09-2015, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by hakeber View Post
First I would lock my bedroom door so he couldn't pee in my room anymore.
Second I would get some carept cleaner and ask him to clean it.
I don't think he means anything by it.  It's just impulse control.  But one way we learn to control our impulses is through facing the consequences of our actions. 
DS went through a sneaky phase himself.  He was peeing in the garden though so it wasn't a big deal...but other things he was doing were things like...he found a snail and school in the garden and snuck it home in his shoe. 
It was really just about fulfilling the need for autonomy, I think.  Giving him more control helped not want to be so sneaky about stuff, and showing him we trusted him more to make his own decisions...Not easy to do when someone is peeing in your closet, I know, and totally counter intuitive, but could work. 
Just hold him accountable.
You could also ask him to come up with the solution for how he is going to make it better.  When DS was five he purposefully broke a whole set of tupperware, by jumping on them.  He said he was testing the theory of plastic not breaking.  We sat down and talked about it and he offered up the solution himself of doing chores for a week that he would ordinarily get an allowance for and instead he would forfeit his allowance.  We all felt better and he actually didn't mind facing the consequence because he designed it.
your kids probably messed up too
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#34 of 38 Old 09-13-2015, 05:56 AM
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I second the idea of having your son clean it up, just in a matter of fact way. That is a natural consequence of peeing in the wrong place. "We clean it up."

Is this a biological child in your family, or did he join your family through adoption?


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#35 of 38 Old 11-25-2015, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by kdescalzi View Post
I just found out, after paying 300 dollars to get our carpets cleaned, that ds has been peeing in our walk in closet. It smells awful and has leaked all the way to the underlay. We assumed it was the dog but ds just admitted that he was "sneaking" by peeing in the closet. He shows no remorse or hard feelings even though he can see we are both very sad and disappointed in his actions. He is a super smart boy and he knows this was wrong and he understands that we had to spend a lot of money trying to fix our carpet. I am just so sad right now. How do I handle this? What can I say or do to make him understand that these actions were not ok, cannot continue, and most importantly, how do I get him to care?

If there doesn't seem to be a reason for it I would just remind him that we don't pee on the carpet, and clean the carpet.

At 5 years old, doing anything more than that is pretty pointless. If he does it regularly, he might have some issues with potty time. It seems pretty common for young boys to have some general issues in that area.

As far as making him care, I'm sorry to tell you this but that's not within the grasp of any human, now or into the foreseeable future.
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#36 of 38 Old 12-05-2015, 07:30 PM
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I would take a very gentle, low-key approach around this and wait and see. Sure he needs to clean up if it happens again but other than that I'd just be curious to see if it seems to be an ongoing preoccupation, urgency due to infection for eg, or a sign that something is worrying him. But most importantly I think don't create a big deal where there may not be one.
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#37 of 38 Old 12-29-2015, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by duckbutter View Post
your kids probably messed up too
You are brand new, dug up a 4+ yr old post, and this is the best you could come up with???
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#38 of 38 Old 12-30-2015, 01:50 PM
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duckbutter sounds like a dope! There's a lot of mental illness in this world....
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