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#31 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 05:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by dakotablue View Post

NO advice other than talking her through transitions. With DS1 he went through a period of time where every transition was hard for him, in the car, out of the car, in the cart, out of the cart, in the car, out of the car, in the house...ect..

So I started warning him and giving him extra time to understand what was going to happen next. I did a lot of "when your ready" When I could and waited until he was ready. (not ever said when I couldn't follow through) and the ok in a minute I'm going to count to three, if you want to do it yourself thats good but if I get to three I will help. 1 2 I'm going to help 3 (help) This worked very very well with him.

 

My son is a screamer too. its just hard and overwhelming for him sometimes.

 

Have you read "Raising your spirited child" Yet? That book helped remind me about how his mind is working (just like mine lol)

 

Not to discount anything else that may be going on, but even if she's feeling bad because of X Y or Z her feelings are still real.(not that you've implied they aren't) The book helped me try to empathize understand an address his.

 

I'm sorry she's having a hard time. I'm sorry your having a hard time.

I do have the book and have read it! I KNOW absolutely even if it's caused by the allergens and what not her feelings are real! Everyone else has something to say about me helping her through them but I really don't give a crap it's my child and I'm not going to punish or leave her for being upset. Every time someone says something to me I says "She's 2 y/o get over it!" My sis is here right now and has said about 3x "I wonder if she will grow out of her temper?"

 

shrug.gif I'm just rolling with the punches over here!
 

 


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#32 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 06:06 AM
 
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She probably will grow out of it.  When is the question.  Honestly though if it's not allergies I would really consider finding out if it's her communication language.  Good luck
 

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I do have the book and have read it! I KNOW absolutely even if it's caused by the allergens and what not her feelings are real! Everyone else has something to say about me helping her through them but I really don't give a crap it's my child and I'm not going to punish or leave her for being upset. Every time someone says something to me I says "She's 2 y/o get over it!" My sis is here right now and has said about 3x "I wonder if she will grow out of her temper?"

 

shrug.gif I'm just rolling with the punches over here!
 

 



 

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#33 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 07:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I do have the book and have read it! I KNOW absolutely even if it's caused by the allergens and what not her feelings are real! Everyone else has something to say about me helping her through them but I really don't give a crap it's my child and I'm not going to punish or leave her for being upset. Every time someone says something to me I says "She's 2 y/o get over it!" My sis is here right now and has said about 3x "I wonder if she will grow out of her temper?"

 

shrug.gif I'm just rolling with the punches over here!
 

 



No one said to leave her because she's upset. However, she's a toddler now and not a baby - which means that your responses to her tantrums and crying change. As a baby, it is our job as parents to respond to them when they cry in such a manner that meets those needs. Now, you need to meet her emotional needs, but that does not mean giving her everything she wants. You can reassure her, and remain close, while not giving in. Some children (mine particularly) do better when left to their own devices during a tantrum. I'm available to him, and he has access to me, but he does better and recovers more quickly if I'm not standing right next to him touching him and trying to calm him down. He needs space - your daughter might too. He knows that I'm there when he's ready, but he needs to be left "alone" (trying to cuddle him while he's screaming doesn't calm him at all, he needs me to be on the other side of the room while he sorts himself out. On the other hand, if he's sad he does like to be cuddled while he calms down, and I do cuddle him when he is crying because he's sad) so that he can calm down and then we talk about it afterwards.

 

Have you read, "Kids, parents and power struggles" ? It's amazing, I'm just getting through it now and I wish I had read it sooner - its about responding to our childrens emotional needs while teaching them how to more appropriately express them (i.e. asking for space rather than hitting, or taking a break rather than blowing up).

 

I agree with Imakcerka - she probably will grow out of this phase, and it may not have anything to do with allergies or anything else. My ds went through this exact same thing (he is highly spirited - I need to get my hands on that book!), and he has no allergies or food intolerances whatsoever.

 

 

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#34 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 08:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I meant people IRL telling me that not you guys! thumb.gif

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#35 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 08:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well SOMETHING is going on for sure b/c we have been in and out of the hospital this month with unexplained vomiting and now she suddenly has skin issues. The theory is that since I'm 22 weeks preggo now she is not getting enough milk to wade off the reactions which apparently she was before (so we had no clue she had any more allergies).

 

So it's been a hell of a month and I'm exhausted should have went into detail about it before my other post!

 

So for tantrums all I am dong is sitting on the floor while she gets it all out and having my arms out so she knows I am available. Whens he starts to calm down I ask her if she would like mommy to pick her up and help find her clam place. (she always says yes) and then I hold her and rub her back and we do deep breathing.

 

She has become a lot more vocal since my OP.

 

I appreciate the help sometimes it can just be SO HARD!


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#36 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 09:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

Well SOMETHING is going on for sure b/c we have been in and out of the hospital this month with unexplained vomiting and now she suddenly has skin issues. The theory is that since I'm 22 weeks preggo now she is not getting enough milk to wade off the reactions which apparently she was before (so we had no clue she had any more allergies).

 

So it's been a hell of a month and I'm exhausted should have went into detail about it before my other post!

 

So for tantrums all I am dong is sitting on the floor while she gets it all out and having my arms out so she knows I am available. Whens he starts to calm down I ask her if she would like mommy to pick her up and help find her clam place. (she always says yes) and then I hold her and rub her back and we do deep breathing.

 

She has become a lot more vocal since my OP.

 

I appreciate the help sometimes it can just be SO HARD!


Yes, it is SO HARD! I hear you on that mama!! I'm having different issues with my just about to turn 3yo.

 

The method you describe above sounds great, and being in and out of the hospital would make it SO much harder!! I hope the allergy testing tells you something and you can get to the bottom of at least that. That will help with her not feeling well, and then working on behavioral stuff will be easier. I still recommend Kids Parents and Power struggles - its still an awesome book. And, since she sounds very similar to my ds, 3 might be worse (in the sense that all my ds does all.day.long is argue with me).

 

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#37 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the rec. I will be sure to check it out. Hope my library has it!


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#38 of 44 Old 01-03-2012, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just found a chiro that takes out insurance! Woot woot! She is getting adjusted thurs. Her shoulder is cracking pretty badly IDK why..but anyways we have a chiro!

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#39 of 44 Old 01-05-2012, 04:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So far she is allergic to eggs (which she ate daily) and tomato. We will see what mon & wed bring. The testing is going OK though. No eggs today and she has calmed down a lot (although we have been busy)


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#40 of 44 Old 01-06-2012, 04:11 PM
 
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Are these IgE allergies (tested via skin test or RAST blood test) or were they sensitivities? Just curious, they need to be taken out either way! If she's not being tested for sensitivities, remember that she can have those, too.

 

I hope that once these foods are out of her diet, you will start seeing some improvements.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#41 of 44 Old 01-07-2012, 06:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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They are intradermal tests?


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#42 of 44 Old 01-07-2012, 07:09 AM
 
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So they stuck her with a bunch of pins, probably on a board, on her back and observed for wheals/redness/swelling?

 

That's an IgE skin prick test (SPT is the usual abbreviation in forums).

 

She can still be reactive/intolerant/sensitive without testing positive to IgE SPTs (or a RAST blood test, which also tests for IgE allergies), and it would be just as important to get those things out of her diet. Many typical (Western MDs) allergists don't recognize non-IgE reactions, so they're a lot more difficult to figure out.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#43 of 44 Old 01-07-2012, 07:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We see a holistic ped. It wasn't a scratch test they did 14 different shots in her arm, one at a time, waited 15 mins for a reaction.


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#44 of 44 Old 01-07-2012, 12:51 PM
 
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That must have cost a bundle.

 

I'm still thinking it's IgE and she could have some intolerances/sensitivities that don't show up on that test.

 

Nice that you have access to a holistic ped. Our allergist (and dermatologist and ENT) at Children's Hosp have been not to my liking.  "You'll never figure out what's causing the eczema." "Steroids!" "Surgery!"  In that order.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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