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#1 of 44 Old 11-16-2011, 12:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's non-stop from when she wakes up until she goes to bed! Doesn't matter how much attention I give her she just flips out all day about everything!

 

IDK how to handle it! I try to avoid it if at all possible and I try to manage it when it does happen (fix the problem, nurse, offer hugs, let her get it out of her system, talk through her feelings)

 

She flips out about everything. If she wants food she flips out non stop even as I am preparing it our getting it for her, same with drinks. She will be sitting on my lap and flipping out saying she wants me...it's just non-stop and over everything!

 

She will flip out to go into the car then flip out about having to sit in the car seat...

 

I try to give her options and talk about how mommy doesn't like it when she gets so worked up

 

Any tips?


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#2 of 44 Old 11-16-2011, 01:06 PM
 
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Is she getting molars?  I ask because I have been frustrated with my screaming 13mo and then suddenly realized she's teething hard.  I'm anti meds, but broke down and gave her some tylenol and she's a totally different (and super sweet) baby. 


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#3 of 44 Old 11-16-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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Heh - I just commented on your "eat too much?" thread. And you're going to think I see the world through a food allergy lens. And I totally admit that I do.

 

Have you considered a food allergy or sensitivity?

 

Corn is the first one that comes to mind.

 

For example, our friends' daughter was a crazy child - unable to control behavior, unable to sit still, tantrum at the slightest provocation, waking at night for several HOURS (cheerful and playful)...and they initially pinned it down to "any sugar or refined flour after 12 noon would cause night waking."  BUT, when they finally gave up ALL CORN = new child. Sleeps through the night. Normal attention span for a 3-yr-old. Listens to instruction, redirects easily.

 

The child has had a history of food sensitivities throughout infancy and childhood. Gluten was another one that changed her behavior for the better when it was eliminated.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#4 of 44 Old 11-16-2011, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have done hardcore elimination diets! We are currently corn, soy, and dairy free, we have been gluten, beef, tomato, lentil, nut, and strawberry free as well.

 

She has always been very high needs and intense and she suffered a lot of vax reactions in the past. we have done homeopathy to heal from the vaxs.


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#5 of 44 Old 11-16-2011, 01:55 PM
 
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Well, then. More power to you for eliminating corn. I think that is darn near impossible, and I don't wish a corn sensitivity on anyone.

 

Would you consider floral essences (Bach's Rescue Remedy is a well-known one)? There is a member who does consults and creates custom blends.

 

http://www.pediatrichomeopathy.com/p/custom-blends.html

 


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#6 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 05:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Her pedi is a homeopath. She gave us something to combat HiB b/c she thinks that has a lot to do with her behavior...but she seems to be getting worse and worse. Even if it ends up healing her I still need effective ways to deal with the situation at hand KWIM?


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#7 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 05:40 AM
 
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Consistency is key.  Pick one way to deal with the trantruming, and stick to it.  Every.single.time. The behavior you describe sounds like my son a year ago - he's very demanding for lack of a better word.  I do second the notion that she may be getting her 2yo molars, and for that I would do tylenol or motrin - those are miserable.  FWIW, my ds has no food sensitivities (but juice and chocolate milk which give him diarrhea so he doesn't get those), and no sn - he's just very demanding and maybe spirited. He's also SUPER argumentative, and his verbal skills are insane - he tries to negotiate every.single.little.detail.of.his.day. Literally. He's going to be a lawyer I think (both I and his dad are lawyers so it runs in the family). 

 

Good luck - so not fun!

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#8 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 08:47 AM
 
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Did it start all of a sudden, or has been a gradual buildup to this point?  Honestly, it sounds a lot like my DS, who was just diagnosed with autism.  Have you considered having her behavior assessed? 


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#9 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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Sounds like my DD who is a few months older than your LO.  My 2.5 year old has screaming fits if the wind changes direction at the wrong time lately.  I am hoping it is molars coming because when her first set were coming in she'd wake up screaming inconsolably in the middle of the night.  As for dealing with it, I do not know.  I could have written the post.  I am just trying to be consistent with her but that is tough because it feels like it is lasting forever.  Part of me thinks my DD is testing the waters in part to see what effect her behavior has on us.  No idea...

Hang in there mama.


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#10 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 12:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well she has always been a screamer/very HN/sensitive  a LOT of it had to do with vax reactions though and the pain she suffered for months and months b.c of them. She screamed 4-9hrs a day from 2m/o until 9 m/o!

 

When she turned 1 she calmed down a lot but was still more intense than other kids and cried a lot more. When she cries she SCREAMS she will go 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds!

 

We go to a ped regularly they haven't said anything about autism..


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#11 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 12:25 PM
 
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A good behavioral assessment would give you options for dealing with the crying, etc, while you are working on the healing.

 

You're looking for someone who can give you a functional analysis & a plan for dealing with the behavior(s). PP is right about consistency, no matter what route you choose.

 

When we have to, we give DS a "choice" and I very deliberately put that in quotes. If the situation warrants, his choice is between complying with our request or...going to his room or (trying to think a real example here so it doesn't sound like we're extreme parents)

 

We still help DS brush his teeth. DH calls this "teamwork" (a la Wonderpets). DS sometimes wants to do it all himself/rejects "help" or turn-taking.

 

DH - "You can have teamwork, or I will brush your teeth for you. Pick one."

 

I did the same with hair combing this morning. He wants to do it himself, but, of course, he can't get all the knots out.

 

Me - "Do you want to go first, or do you want me to go first? Pick one."


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#12 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 12:59 PM
 
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I still think it sounds like she isn't feeling well.  You've mentioned she's had vax reactions.  Maybe there is something residual giong on? 


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Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

 

When she turned 1 she calmed down a lot but was still more intense than other kids and cried a lot more. When she cries she SCREAMS she will go 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds!

 



Thats my kid too. And then when he's done, he's done and acts like nothing ever happened. Ridiculous. Consistency is key. It may take some time to figure out what works, and when trying different techniques give them 3-4 days to work. Pick one way of responding, and use it every single time for 3-4 days. If it seems to be working, continue - if not, pick the next one and use every single tantrum for 3-4 days. It takes time to get the tantrums to slow down, sometimes lot of time and patience and trying different tactics.

 

I would be hesitant to automatically assume it is something that needs healing, or something that is wrong with her physically - this is a pretty typical age to start testing boundaries and limits. If that is what she's doing, and she's been HN all along, the last thing you want is to make excuses for it and not set those boundaries and limits. She needs to know that the limits and boundaries are there, then test them, and then get over it (which she will, and then she won't test them as often - but when she does test them again and again the fact that they are there needs to be re-affirmed).  All of that can be done gently, but firmly. There are many different tactics to use, it just takes trying them out.

 

And, are you sure she's not teething? The 2yo molars took FOREVER with my ds, and they were horrific to get through. I'm not sure anyone would have survived if not for motrin and tylenol (used appropriately of course!).

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#14 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 04:51 PM
 
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We go to a ped regularly they haven't said anything about autism..


Regular peds are not trained to recognize any but the most overt blatant signs of autism.  Unless they've had special training, your child would need to be pretty severely delayed for the average ped to think "autism".  Particularly if your child is verbal, most peds won't think autism.  My son has a huge vocabulary at 2, probably about 200 words.  But he's still autistic, which is not something his ped caught, it was something that I asked for a referral for, since I knew something wasn't "right" with his behavior (although I didn't think autism). 

 

And I'm not saying it is autism.  I'm saying that seeing a behavioral or developmentally trained ped could get you some answers, and possibly some help/solutions.  Because that much screaming, whether you know what caused it originally or not, is not normal.  And that amount of long-term pain can have it's own effects. 

 


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#15 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 05:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So do I just ask for a referral to a behavioral ped? We have a holistic ped.

 

BTW the molars are coming! I purposely brushed back there tonight and she started crying so I asked if I could feel and she let me they are swollen. This is the last of her teeth now. I had some expired baby tylenol but I just threw it out and gave her Arnica Montana 30, Kids Relief teething remedy, and put teething relief oil on her cheeks. She passed out at 7 after stories and milkies :)


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#16 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 06:03 PM
 
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It's non-stop from when she wakes up until she goes to bed! Doesn't matter how much attention I give her she just flips out all day about everything!

 

IDK how to handle it! I try to avoid it if at all possible and I try to manage it when it does happen (fix the problem, nurse, offer hugs, let her get it out of her system, talk through her feelings)

 

She flips out about everything. If she wants food she flips out non stop even as I am preparing it our getting it for her, same with drinks. She will be sitting on my lap and flipping out saying she wants me...it's just non-stop and over everything!

 

Ok, my ds used to do this exact thing - seriously.  If he wanted eggs and I was cooking them - it was NOT ok!  They needed to be ready 5 minutes ago!

 

She will flip out to go into the car then flip out about having to sit in the car seat...

 

This too.  Seriously, I don't have a car but he would flip out over putting clothes on, then about going out the door, then about leaving the apartment building.  Then he was fine.  Drove me batty.

 

I try to give her options and talk about how mommy doesn't like it when she gets so worked up

 

Any tips?


Now, the question is - how long does this last? Honestly - is it every moment of the day, or do you have decent stretches of calm in between these freak outs?  With my DS the freakouts were usually related to a transition.  Play time to meal time, play time to bath time (this one is still hard), bathtime to bedtime (this one is still hard too - he hates going to bed), playtime to going shopping, etc.  If there wasn't a transition coming up, he was fine.  If we weren't in a transition, he was fine.  If this is more what is going on (reading your posts it sounds like it - but I could be off I'm not familiar with your previous posts about your dd.


 

Quote:
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BTW the molars are coming! I purposely brushed back there tonight and she started crying so I asked if I could feel and she let me they are swollen. This is the last of her teeth now. I had some expired baby tylenol but I just threw it out and gave her Arnica Montana 30, Kids Relief teething remedy, and put teething relief oil on her cheeks. She passed out at 7 after stories and milkies :)


If she's teething and getting those killer 2yo molars (which are TORTURE - they had my DS is major amounts of pain!), then if could be partly b/c she's tired from not sleeping well due to pain - which the 7pm bedtime tonight definitely supports - and partly due to being in pain at various times throughout the day.  Not necessarily due to anything that needs healing, or any special needs.  2yo is a challenging age since she is realizing that she is her own person and isn't part of you, and she is starting to assert some independence and test boundaries BIG TIME.

 

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#17 of 44 Old 11-17-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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Is she getting plenty of outdoor, run around time? Two year olds often NEED to be very physical to burn that energy. If they don't get it, that energy comes out in screaming and tantrums.


How is her sleep? If DD is under slept at all she is a totally different child. She will be 2 next month and needs 12 hours overnight + another 2 hours at nap to be her cheerful self.

 

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#18 of 44 Old 11-18-2011, 04:43 AM
 
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Is she getting plenty of outdoor, run around time? Two year olds often NEED to be very physical to burn that energy. If they don't get it, that energy comes out in screaming and tantrums.


How is her sleep? If DD is under slept at all she is a totally different child. She will be 2 next month and needs 12 hours overnight + another 2 hours at nap to be her cheerful self.

 



I also agree with all of this.  Especially the outdoor playtime - that is SO important for toddlers. They have SO much energy!

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#19 of 44 Old 11-19-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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Is there any yelling in the household at all?

 

At 2 they realize they have a voice and don't "have" to do everything their told.  Perhaps the emotions are out of control and she needs help communicating differently, or maybe she has seen yelling (which translates to screaming to a 2 year old) by anyone in the household or family?

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#20 of 44 Old 11-20-2011, 04:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A few weeks ago. We have a "no fighting" in front of the baby rule but she was sleeping in the car and we were arguing over DH going to a bar and not telling me and me worried sick b/c he was suppose to be home at 10 and didn't show up until 2:30 am...DD woke up and we stopped but it may have effected her...


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#21 of 44 Old 11-20-2011, 12:39 PM
 
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Have you tried the getting down to her level then quiet voiced, "I'm sorry honey mommy can't understand you, please lower your voice" thing?    Works for some kids, of course it depends on why they are screaming, if she doesn't feel HEARD, it may work.  So hard to pinpoint these things.  Good luck! :)

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#22 of 44 Old 11-27-2011, 10:49 AM
 
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Do NOT excuse her behavior.  Can't say that strongly enough.  It is MUCH easier to show her this will not be tolerated the first time it happens than after it's been excused.  I'm not advocating harshness, but I'm advocating a response to the behavior that teaches her it is inappropriate.  You also, of COURSE want to meet her needs and address any physical issues she might have, but DO NOT let the behavior slide and give excuses for it!

 

She's screaming at you while you prepare her food?  Show her how you're doing it, involve her, that might be enough to stop it because she can see what is happening.  If she can't be involved (maybe you are frying chicken for dinner or something) tell her and enforce the rule that she stay away from the stove to keep her safe, however you feel it needs to be enforced, but ENFORCE IT.  Simply  "too hot this time"  whatever, keep it simple, but ENFORCE IT.  Does not have to be a punishment, but simply a response to her, her need, and if necessary, something that shows her this is not how we behave.  After all, if you or I had a toothache, we wouldn't sit in the middle of a room full of people and scream about it.  Neither should she, but since she's 2, we don't expect her to know this--we show her what to do instead.  50, 100, 150 times if necessary, but we don't ignore it or excuse it because that does nothing to help learning.


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#23 of 44 Old 11-28-2011, 06:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone know any good strategies for HN toddlers in dealing with behavior? I'm really struggling!

 

We went TV free and it going well although it's taking a lot out of me. The fits increased a bit b/c of it but now it seems to be getting better.

 

She is a young two and IDK how much she comprehends. The other night she had a fit for 45 mins b/c her food was hot and she wanted it NOW. I was blowing on it and ended up just eating my dinner while she had a 45 min fit..and when she screams she SCREAMS.

 

She does cook with me almost always but we have been having an issue with hands she always wants to touch everything hot and it's a real hassle but I keep telling her "No touch, hot!" The other day after lunch I was on the phone quick and walked into the kitchen and see her on a chair (she dragged over) and she was holding the burner I had just cooked on! (electric stove) Luckily it wasn't hot anymore just warm and she didn't hurt herself but it scared the crap out of me of course! This worries me b/c when I have the baby if I'm nursing or changing a diaper or w/e I can't have my eyes on her every second of the day KWIM? I'm looking into some sort of stove guard anyway...but I feel like maybe I encouraged it b/c she cooks with me? IDK everyone elses' kid I know isn't allowed near the stove or is terrified of it. I mean I don't want her to be afraid of things but I do want her to be safe.


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#24 of 44 Old 11-28-2011, 06:52 AM
 
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This worries me b/c when I have the baby if I'm nursing or changing a diaper or w/e I can't have my eyes on her every second of the day KWIM? I'm looking into some sort of stove guard anyway...but I feel like maybe I encouraged it b/c she cooks with me? IDK everyone elses' kid I know isn't allowed near the stove or is terrified of it. I mean I don't want her to be afraid of things but I do want her to be safe.


http://www.target.com/p/Stove-Guard/-/A-538772

 

Same company also has covers for the stove knobs.  I used both of these.

 

I don't know what the layout of your home is, but I would invest in a gate for the kitchen and keep it locked at all times if possible.

 

As for the fits, the ONLY thing that worked for us was for me to make myself available and ignore the tantrum.  (and your DD sounds EXACTLY like my DS - he's now almost 3yo and while he argues constantly, his fits are shorter and not as bad)  So, the food examples - when she's throwing a fit because the food is too hot (we had the exact same tantrum several times) I would say, "You can blow on it, or I can put it up until you are ready to eat"  If he started blowing on it, great!  If not, I put it out of his reach (his fave was to throw the bowl on the floor), and then I would sit and eat my dinner, or grab a book and ignore the fit until it passed.  Sometimes, it lasted 45min or longer, but soon it got shorter because he realized I wasn't going to do anything about it while he was screaming.  I also made a point after he calmed down to give a few cuddles (not during the fit - that made the fit longer even though it may seem counter-intuitive) and talk to him about asking nicely.

 

Whenever he did ask nicely - which I defined as however he asked when he wasn't throwing a fit, didn't depend on how verbal he was - I made a HUGE deal out of it.  I would say, "Oh THANK YOU for asking so NICELY, I LOVE it when you ask in your nice voice! Let me see if I can help you!"  And I would just make a big deal out of it.  Even when the answer to his request was "No" (can I have chocolate milk?  Can I have Candy?), I would still make a big deal out of the way he asked, "Oh, Thank you for asking so nicely!  It is so sweet when you ask nicely! We don't have any (enter forbidden item here), but how about we find something else yummy?"  If he reverted to a tantrum because I said no, I seamlessly go into making myself available while ignoring the tantrum.

 

I swear, it DOES get better - but you have set the boundaries, and be firm.  Also, when you say something, stick to it.  Think before you speak - because you have to follow through at this age.  "Don't hit me with that book, or I will take it away"  he hits with the book - he only gets the ONE chance because if you keep repeating yourself, when you DO enforce it, it seems arbitrary to them (even if it doesn't seem arbitrary to you).  Setting the boundaries is hard hard work (and I swear, your DD sounds like my DS's clone in your posts - really!), but it DOES get better!  Especially if you enforce the boundaries that you set, she will learn them they just have to be enforced the same every time. 

 

ETA - My DS cooks with me now, but when he was your DD's age, he wasn't allowed to (because he tried to touch the hot stuff).  I waited until he learned how to behave around the hot stove and oven, and then he started cooking with me. I had hard and fast rules surrounding the kitchen when he was younger - not allowed in the kitchen if the oven was being opened, not allowed in the kitchen if the burners were on (gas stove), etc. He learned those fast because they were enforced every single day. 

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#25 of 44 Old 12-28-2011, 11:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Things have gotten worse! Much worse!

 

She is a great kid. She is back to listening REALLY well and is polite and just lovely really but the tantrums have increased major! She seems to tantrum over NOTHING like all day long.

 

How I'm dealing:

 

When she has a tantrum I sit on the floor next to her and let her "get it out" while holding out my arms. I tell her when she is ready to find her calm place mommy will help her. She does really well with this method and will come into my arms and I rub her back and we do deep breaths. However the tantrum durations have hardly decreased we are still looking at some 20-45 min tantrums...

 

What I've done to improve our days:

 

I have the tv off 90% of the time unless she refuses a nap and we watch a movie together.

 

I have organized all of her toys and activities into separate containers so we can get something to do/play with and then put it all back. House is less stressful and we can concentrate on activity better.

 

Other than that she has been sleeping much better. She is still working on her molars as well so I know that is a factor...

 

It is just SO HARD and SO STRESSFUL. It's 2:38pm and she has had 14 tantrums today! DH has stopped being able to deal with them. He is so stressed out she just never seems to stop they are one right after another. They are over everything and nothing and they are everywhere (although less when we are out).

 

 


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#26 of 44 Old 01-01-2012, 02:19 PM
 
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I second looking having someone look at her behavior.

 

Are you familiar with sensory processing issues? This site is *awesome* for explaining sensory stuff. My 24-mo-old has sensory, social, and speech issues (we dunno if she's ASD at this point, we suspect yes) and can easily have 2-3 dozen meltdowns a day, which is hard, as she's *such* a pleasant, compliant girl otherwise.

 

She also has GI issues- chronic constipation, and when she hasn't pooped in a day, you can almost set your watch by the meltdowns. Ditto if she's not been getting enough sensory input and stimulation.

 

Yes, consistency is important, but if there's something else going on, if it's not *just* a behavior she's learned works- if there's something *making* her meltdown, consistency is one of the least important puzzle pieces in putting together a happy day. Some days are days where DD needs to squish everything. Some days are days where she can't stand soft or smooshy things. Being able to quickly jump around your options helps more than always thinking you need to respond in a set way.


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#27 of 44 Old 01-01-2012, 03:19 PM
 
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We had a kid in my older DD's daycare that was like that.  Actually maybe a little different.  All he did was whine cry tantrum.  I felt horrible for the parents.  Our Daycare provider was the only one on base that would take him.  And she ignored him.  She fed him, she talked to him and she gave him opportunities to play but if he did any of his normal things she pretended like it wasn't happening.  His parents did take him in and were told numerous things.  One was that he actually soothed himself through tantrums.  I don't know but I can kind of see it after being around him a whole day.  He actually lessoned his tantrums because he needed things she would pretend she didn't understand, and so he tried to find another way to communicate with the Daycare provider.  His tantrums didn't go away completely for her but they were pretty minimal.   It was kind of like a communication thing between the two of them.  However he still communicated that way with his parents.  I've seen them recently and he appears fine.  This has been years though.  I'm going to see if I can get in touch with our old DP to see if she knew if there was ever a real diagnosis and I'll get back to you.

 

By the way the way this kids acted was something I had never seen before.  It was a constant whine/tantrum and it never stopped. 

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#28 of 44 Old 01-01-2012, 04:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are starting allergen testing this week to see if that is an issue. I'll keep an update.


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#29 of 44 Old 01-02-2012, 02:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

We had a kid in my older DD's daycare that was like that.  Actually maybe a little different.  All he did was whine cry tantrum.  I felt horrible for the parents.  Our Daycare provider was the only one on base that would take him.  And she ignored him.  She fed him, she talked to him and she gave him opportunities to play but if he did any of his normal things she pretended like it wasn't happening.  His parents did take him in and were told numerous things.  One was that he actually soothed himself through tantrums.  I don't know but I can kind of see it after being around him a whole day.  He actually lessoned his tantrums because he needed things she would pretend she didn't understand, and so he tried to find another way to communicate with the Daycare provider.  His tantrums didn't go away completely for her but they were pretty minimal.   It was kind of like a communication thing between the two of them.  However he still communicated that way with his parents.  I've seen them recently and he appears fine.  This has been years though.  I'm going to see if I can get in touch with our old DP to see if she knew if there was ever a real diagnosis and I'll get back to you.

 

By the way the way this kids acted was something I had never seen before.  It was a constant whine/tantrum and it never stopped. 

This is why a good functional behavioral analysis is a very good idea. The function of this particular child's tantrums is to communicate; Daycare provider forced the child to learn a different, more appropriate method to communicate. Fewer tantrums.

 

OP - I would strongly suggest a behavior analysis - especially if she is tantruming up to 14 times a day. It is utterly exhausting for you. A good behavioral assessment - which should include goals that you, as the parent, help to set - will be very helpful to you.

 

And I believe the allergy/food route may also be productive, as I've seen food senstivities in action in our friends' children, and sometimes it ain't pretty.
 

 


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#30 of 44 Old 01-02-2012, 10:33 PM
 
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NO advice other than talking her through transitions. With DS1 he went through a period of time where every transition was hard for him, in the car, out of the car, in the cart, out of the cart, in the car, out of the car, in the house...ect..

So I started warning him and giving him extra time to understand what was going to happen next. I did a lot of "when your ready" When I could and waited until he was ready. (not ever said when I couldn't follow through) and the ok in a minute I'm going to count to three, if you want to do it yourself thats good but if I get to three I will help. 1 2 I'm going to help 3 (help) This worked very very well with him.

 

My son is a screamer too. its just hard and overwhelming for him sometimes.

 

Have you read "Raising your spirited child" Yet? That book helped remind me about how his mind is working (just like mine lol)

 

Not to discount anything else that may be going on, but even if she's feeling bad because of X Y or Z her feelings are still real.(not that you've implied they aren't) The book helped me try to empathize understand an address his.

 

I'm sorry she's having a hard time. I'm sorry your having a hard time.


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