my oldest child, that this is about is almost 2 1/2 the probelm that i am expieriencing right now is that when she is playing with her 15 month old sister or any one else's child, she will get really aggressive and pull hair and dig at thier face really hard. The last time she did this and I couldn't stop her in time she make the 6 year old child she was playing with bleed. I have tried time outs but that has not been successful, I don't know how to get her to stop doing this, I feel so guilty because I feel like it is something I did wrong, and i feel horible because she hurt someone else's child. This kind of behavior is something that she has never seen or been exposed to I don't understand where she is getting it from. My husband and I don't always agree with each other but we don't scream and yell in front of them so I know that it isn't from that, and it's very rarely that we even do yell like that but, I'm just so lost because I don't know what to do. And Frustrated because I can't get her to stop :( any advice please?
Hugs, this is tough but believe it or not this is pretty typical behavior at 2 1/2. It is definitely not something you did wrong. The best advice I have to be diligent and consistent. It is tricky with the sibling because it's not all that practical to sit with them every time they play together. Each time she goes to do it she needs to be firmly redirected. She will get frustrated with this and eventually put two and two together. Also see if you can pick up on any triggers. It will make it easier with sibling play because you may be able to hear something from the next room that lets you know it is coming.
I have been there. My oldest was asked to leave a preschool because of behavior like this (along with biting). The teachers were real inconsistent. Sometimes they even redirected my DS to something he loved to do so he learned to do be aggressive just to get his way. We found out it was an issue with the school after we found a new preschool for DS where everything was fine and there was a series of little boys at the old school asked to leave.