Help with transitions please!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-06-2012, 05:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS does great once we leave the house, but the transitions are SUPER hard. When its time to get dressed, I have to chase him around the house to get him dressed. Shoes/socks are the same way. Even when he wants to go. Staying home isn't an option all the time, and he really needs outdoor exercise to use up all his 3yo energy.

 

He's also super argumentative, highly social, and completely charming and wonderful to everyone other than me.

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#2 of 3 Old 01-06-2012, 05:43 PM
 
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We have a similar problem. DS needs to get out, but doesn't usually want to. I have found that if I just start doing things outside, he'll want to join me, get motivated to get dressed, get shoes one, etc. Like, for example, this morning I was taking out the recycling, and he wanted to help. Given how cold it is, he had to get clothes, shoes, and coat on, all of which he did very quickly and without any fuss. Of course, I'm not saying leave him inside and go by yourself outside, but come in and out, doing little "errands" outside, and he'll maybe want to follow you... Just a thought!


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#3 of 3 Old 01-07-2012, 01:28 PM
 
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Have you tried setting a timer? The timer works remarkably well for my kids. I set the timer for say 5 minutes and tell them "when the timer beeps, it'll be time to get dressed." That both gives them a warning (especially important for my daughter, who transitions slowly and reluctantly), and it makes a "neutral" party telling them it's time. We use the timer for all sorts of things (reminding me to start cooking dinner, reminding dh to leave) so that it's pretty much an equal opportunity reminder, not just one for kids.

 

Another thought is that this is a perfect time to invoke some playful techniques. Playing chase with mom is really really fun. So, use it to your advantage - "when you get your pants and shirt on, I'll chase you one time through the house." "when we get your socks and shoes on, I'll chase you out the door/to the car." That way he gets positive attention, but in a way that you can have a bit more control over.

 

I think my kids were about this age when I introduced them to the concept of "kid time" and "parent time". Some things can be done on "kid time" -- so if it takes us 30 minutes to walk to the park, oh well. Other things have to be done on "mommy time" -- getting ready to go to daycare (and now school), has to be done on our schedule, not theirs. I don't know how much they understood of this at age 3, but it did help give them a sense of power. They knew that sometimes they were in control. (Now that I think about it, I think we did this at age 4, when the power struggles were pretty big.)

 

 


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