Sick of not being listened to, sick of yelling, sick of feeling disrespected... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 37 Old 06-10-2012, 11:34 AM
 
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There are lots of good ideas on here! Thanks for the tips. Vermontgirl: I am sending positive thoughts your way, you are a good momma and your hard work is, and will be appreciated!

 

One thing my brother-in-law does that I like: His kids are 4 and 5, and when they fight he puts them in a time-out together in the same chair. Being forced to sit together for 5 minutes actually helps, he said by the time the 5 minutes are up they are laughing again.

 

Much love to all you hard-working mommas   joy.gif    It is not an easy job!


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#32 of 37 Old 06-10-2012, 01:15 PM
 
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One thing that jumps out at me is the screen time- I have boys and when either of them (or both) have had any screen time, behavioral issues follow. This has not changed even at ages 5 and 8. For the last few years we have become a TV free family, and the boys get virtually no computer time. My oldest is allowed to use the family iPad to check the weather and mountain conditions (he skiis) with my husband daily but that is the extent of his computer use.

I would also recommend increasing their outdoor time- this isn't to say they don't have a lot already, but I was shocked to learn that 3-4 hours daily of outdoor time is not too much for children, and in my opinion, especially boys! Males used to cover an average of 12 miles a day to survive, even at ages as young as 5, so when my boys act out I ask myself if anything unusual has kept into their diet recently (gluten, dairy, and anything artificial causes my boys to act out), have they had any screen time, and/or have they had a chance to cover their 12 miles??

I find that no screen time, chemical free eating, and hours of outdoor time make for a very peaceful family in our house. The reverse is absolutely 100 percent true in our case- screen time, little outdoor time, and processed foods lead to a very negative environment and it just is not worth it!
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#33 of 37 Old 06-13-2012, 11:07 AM
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Wow.  This is my daughter.  She's 6.  Yesterday was like a festival of not listening and it made me insane.  All day. Didn't matter what I said, if she asked, or how I answered, she just did exactly what she wanted and to hell with everything else.  

 

I do think there is something about this age, and seeking independence, especially at home.  When we are out it is much less apparent, and she carefully picks what she is going to ignore. LOL

 

This is a great thread with a lot of great tips!  Going to reread now and I think, order a book to read. winky.gif


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#34 of 37 Old 08-26-2012, 06:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

 There is no "why" to this.  I stopped asking the kids "Why did you do that?"  They don't know, they just did it.

 

 

I read this and about cried.  My son is at the point (he is 3...4 in Oct)  where if you ask him why he did something that is his response "I just did".  I used to think that he said that just to get a rise out of me and be obstinate.  But now I see that to him, that is the correct answer and he doesn't understand why I get upset when he gives it.  He has a younger bro who will be 2 in Dec and they fight constantly.  And they are both going thru the stage now where nothing I say seems to get through their heads.  They are very headstrong.  But all of the ideas in this forum have been very good.  I will definitely need to implement a few!!  I, too, yell too much and  warn waaay too much without following through.  Thanks for all the tips guys...hopefully we will all (those who haven't already anyways) get through this phase without pulling all of our hair out!

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#35 of 37 Old 08-27-2012, 09:25 AM
 
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Because I have been blessed with online support by many folks who could empathize but not directly identify with my plight, I comment here to offer you many hugs and good thoughts.  My little girl is just 12 weeks and our struggles are very different.  But, we both have struggles and adore our children.  So I applaud your efforts to do what is best for you all. Hang in there, mama!

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#36 of 37 Old 08-27-2012, 09:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by erinsuzy View Post

There are lots of good ideas on here! Thanks for the tips. Vermontgirl: I am sending positive thoughts your way, you are a good momma and your hard work is, and will be appreciated!

 

One thing my brother-in-law does that I like: His kids are 4 and 5, and when they fight he puts them in a time-out together in the same chair. Being forced to sit together for 5 minutes actually helps, he said by the time the 5 minutes are up they are laughing again.

 

Much love to all you hard-working mommas   joy.gif    It is not an easy job!

 

When mine fight (11&7) I make them hold hands.  THEY HATE IT, but they stop fighting and they end up banding together a little bit.                                                                 

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#37 of 37 Old 08-28-2012, 08:56 AM
 
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Thank you for posting, Vermontgirl!! Seriously, you are not alone. My almost-7 year old and 4 year old have been in rare form these last few days (or weeks or months or or or...), and it's been particularly hard to handle lately while I'm caring for a new baby. I love all of these tips, and I'm already feeling a little better about things just by reading! Thank you all!

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