5-year-old lying-help! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 2 Old 06-11-2012, 08:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
greenemami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

Examples:

 

She cut off a chunk of her hair, walked up to me with scissors in one hand and hair in the other and said with a straight face that she got her hair caught on something and it must have ripped out.  Insisted this is what happened even when questioned.

 

Flat out denied having drawn on her dollhouse and walls, heard me assume out loud that her younger brother had done it and said nothing, then completely denied it even after I discovered more coloring in which she had spelled out her name repeatedly. 

 

(FWIW, these two episodes were pretty out of character for her-she is 5 and never even did this stuff when she was smaller.  I have been pretty busy and stressed out lately and am sure this is adding to the problem, plus her 2-year-old bro is a handful and I'm sure she has witnessed how he gets a lot of attention, albeit negative attention, from acting out in similar ways.) 

 

There are more similar episdoes-clear cut evidence that she has done something she is not supposed to, but she completely denies it over and over again, even when faced with said evidence.  She will eventually cave in and admit it, but only when "threatened" with something (i.e. losing a favorite activity etc., which I would prefer not to do)! 

 

Is this a normal stage?  How should I handle it?  I have explained over and over again how when she lies, I have a hard time believing her other times, how I am more upset about the lying than the original problem, etc., but it seems not to be making a difference.  It really upsets me and I'm sure she knows it and it is making the situation worse for both of us.  Help!


Single mama namaste.gif to dd dust.gifand ds fencing.gif, loving my dsd always reading.gif .
greenemami is online now  
#2 of 2 Old 06-11-2012, 10:23 PM
 
lmk1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 782
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

I think around 4 or something, kids discover that there are multiple ways of answering a question...My 4.5 year old recently started doing this.  For example, I ask him if he washed his hands after he went to the bathroom.  And sometimes he says yes, when I know I didn't hear the water running.  I think partially he's curious to see is Mom really omniscient?  Or he's playing a little trick...like teasing...

Definitely it's a phase to discover the possibilities.  I think the key is not to ask when you know the answer.  If she cut off a chunk of her hair, either out of curiosity or boredom, you could just say "Oh I see you cut a lock of your hair"...and leave it at that (or were you really upset about it?).  Or if there's drawing on the wall, everyone participates in cleaning it up, because we're one family and we have to clean up after everyone.  Don't give her a chance to lie, and remove the motivation ... meaning the "remediation" applies to everyone, whether it's cleaning up or putting scissors away so that no one's hair can get snagged.  

Also, I read that at that age, kids will often say what they wish was the truth...like my son says "I'm faster than any race car." 

lmk1 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off