I feel like I'm constantly saying no to my 3 yr old daughter. No, don't do this....Don't do that...put that down please. I just feel like I'm always negative with her! I praise her as well, but I'd like to try to stop her behavior in some other way. I can tell she is getting frustrated with me stopping her from doing things all the time and I think it is probably why she has stopped listening to me. Any tips or books I could read?
I agree that Playful Parenting has a lot of good ideas and just a good outlook in general. I don't know the situations you're talking about specifically, of course, but for a 3yo my idea is to try to have a few things set up to do, to keep her busy with and reduce the curiosity about the "no" things. Put out a couple puzzles, a few new library books, playdough and cookie cutters. Or, if you already feel like she's getting into a bunch of things that make you say "no" (and I totally know what you mean!) you can stop and reframe the whole thing, suggest a whole new activity - let's put on a CD!, Or, should we take out the train tracks?... Most 3 year old would go for this, I think.
I agree with the reezley about suggesting a new activity. When my kids (DS is 3 and DD is 1) just. start. working. my. nerves. with screaming and "no" and DS's pre-tantrum toy flinging and spinning around like a tornado, I stand in the middle of the room and loudly go into the whole head-shoulders-knees-toes routine. By the time I get to my toes DS has usually stopped his "no" fest and has joined in. After doing this for four or five times and everyone's happy again, I'll pull out a new toy or a book and we move on.
I second the activity stations and reframing. It's all about attitude. I noticed today I was very busy with work (freelancer/sahm) and when that happens I need her busy. So I start a pretend game. She loves her stuffed animals. So we cook for them, rock them to sleep, put them to bed. Works great usually. Mostly commiserating with you mama!
Mama + Daddy +DD (12/20/09) =
Expecting #2 in September!
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