Some mornings, I blow it, like today - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 07-06-2012, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a working mom that has to get the kids up early.  And sometimes I lose it at my kids in the morning.  I see some thread hear that I wanted to respond to, but also needed to get this off my chest.

 

I get to the end of my rope when I am not listened to.  I am getting better at handling it, by telling myself where ever I have to be, it is not as important as a lossing myself to creating trauma in my family.  I had it all worked out in my head how when my DD age 8 helps by starting to brush her hair, I will have time to do AB & C before leaving.    But when she says to me, mommy you brush my hair, I say I will but first I have to do AB & C, can you please start, and she sits there being stubborn.  Well today I did not handle it so well. 

 

I had said if she did not start, I would take away her favorite stuffed toy, and DS.  When I acted on it, as I was brushing my teeth, and she laying on my bed with a mean look on her face, she started throwing her stuffed animal around so I could not get it, but I did, and hit her with it.  I think it hit her on the nose, because half an hour later, that is what she claimed was hurting her immensly.  Lots of drama.  Then I threw the brush on the bed angrily, after yelling.  I was pretty angry.  She also yelled at me very angrily.  She can be pretty disrespecful lately.  We also had to get something for the end of week BBQ at her day camp before drop off.  So the natural consequense was nothing for the BBQ since time was taken.  Other consequence, favorite stuffed animal, and DS gone for 4 weeks.

 

I felt so bad after, because here I am at work, bored out of my gourd.  There was no emergency to get to and I knew it.  It is the not listening and disrespect from them.  I did talk to her on the way to school, letting her know that, I love her and all I wanted was for her to please help brushing, so I could get some stuff done, and that grown-ups tell kids to do stuff so lives will be organized and it will all work out so everything gets done.

 

I started speculating if say, Julia Roberts, Angilina Jolie, or Mariska Hargitay loses it at their kids. 

 

But I did break down and go get the much asked for pirates booty in time for the BBQ. After all, my natural consequence for losing it, was forgetting my lunch, so I had to go back that way anyhow. 

 

Another scenario is when my DS age 5 just before leaving, has to have a BM that takes forever whiping (he is very particular about getting it all off) and a clogged toillett. That is an entire new thread.

 

I guess I am asking for support, knowing that I am not alone today....

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#2 of 2 Old 07-07-2012, 09:24 AM
 
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You are not alone!  I've lost it for similar reasons as you have.  It happens and you are human, so give yourself a break.

 

  Do you think that there is something else your dd could help you with since brushing her hair seems to be a trigger or do you think she's trying to get some extra attention by doing things like this in the morning?  Maybe you could offer her a compromise?  If you both get up 10 minutes earlier, she could take that time to brush her hair and then you could read a book together with that extra time or do something else nice together?  That way, you're giving her a positive natural consequence of her being helpful?


 
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