I need creative discipline ideas for teaching responsibility! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-13-2012, 01:09 PM - Thread Starter
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I have 3 kids, 9, 7.5, and 6. I am sooooo tired of picking up after them! I remind them constantly to pick up after themselves, put their clothes in the dirty laundry, but it seems like day after day I find dirty clothes laying around, toys on the floor, etc. I'm looking for both creative ways to teach them responsibility and consequences if necessary.

Nicole, mom of 3. Mitochondrial Disease.: Epilepsy
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#2 of 6 Old 08-13-2012, 05:37 PM
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I have been struggling with this as well. My 8 year-old struggles even more so than my almost 3 year-old, actually. My DD8 will toss wrapper on the floor, where my younger DD puts them in the trash. I have made some progress, though. The best thing I can do is give them reminders to clean up before the mess gets too big. But they still leaves things laying around. I think the thing that really helped us make the progress that we have made is just being really consistent and not letting them do another thing until they pick up whatever they have tossed aside. We need to go back and focus on our routine when we come in the door again. And then a quick 15 minute clean-up a few times per day. I keep thinking I can't wait until they are old enough to share more responsibility around here. However, when I think about it, the question is when am I ready to take on the job of teaching them? Little by little, we'll get there. I am hoping some great ideas show up in this thread. I'll be watching.

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#3 of 6 Old 08-13-2012, 07:20 PM
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It's not new or creative by any means, but we have recently started a chore chart with our oldest, who is four. We started b/c she has major behavior problems and this thing has been the only thing that has actually gotten her to listen and participate. Her daily reward is getting to watch a tv show (we are v tv limited). Seven items per day. If she gets all her magnets for the whole week, she gets to pick a movie to watch. She LOVES it. This is a kid for whom getting dressed in the morning is a struggle. Not anymore cuz "get dressed" is on the chart! I don't have to get angry or anything anymore; the chart stands for itself. If you don't do your chore, no magnet, no show. So, yeah, it's the old dangling carrot trick, but it does work around here!


DD (4.25.08)  DD (4.23.10)  DD (10.13.12)

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#4 of 6 Old 08-14-2012, 02:26 AM
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dogretro...I'm curious what 7 items are on your list...I have a 3.5 year old and this sounds like a good idea for her

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#5 of 6 Old 08-14-2012, 09:47 AM
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My son is 7.  He has a responsibility chart.  We got it at Lakeview Learning.  It's empty and you can just fill in the blanks and wipe it off as necessary.  Right now his goals are... (please keep in mind he has special needs)....


1.  Wake up dry.

2.  Get up and dressed without help.

3.  Clean off your plates from the table.

4.  Get ready for bed without a fuss

5.  Get jammies on without help.

6.  Do homework without a fuss.

7.  Feed the cats without being asked.


He gets a star for each thing completed.  Once you have a star, you cannot take it away for any reason.  Each star is worth a quarter.  Friday night, we count up his stars and then count out the quarters.  He then stacks up the quarters into fours and counts them to get his "folding money".  Money goes into his own wallet.  When there are good yard sales, we'll go to the yard sales with his money where he can buy himself toys.  In addition to learning how to do chores and such, he's learning financial responsibility as we always discuss his purchases before he makes them to ensure they are a wise investment on his part.  


This year, a very kind gentleman taught him the art of haggling.  He was selling an old fashioned radio flyer wood and metal sled.  My son wanted it something fierce!  He asked the man how much he wanted for it and told him $25.  My son pulled out his wallet and the man told him to wait - he's supposed to haggle.  He explained what it was and then told him to make an offer.  My son said "Twenty five cents!".  LOL  My son got him down to $15 and was so very proud.  At the next sale, he found a razor scooter he wanted.  The lady told him it was $5.  He asked me how much he should offer and I said two or three.  He looked her straight in the eye and said "how about 3?"  She was so shocked, she gave it to him for $3.  Such fun!

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#6 of 6 Old 08-20-2012, 07:51 PM
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I don't have much time, but have you tried collaborative problem solving to address the underlying unmet needs?


Jennifer DH Bill '97. DS C 2/03  
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