Need Creative Gentle Discipline Ideas - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 10-24-2012, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I need creative and Gentle Discipline ideas for my 3 year old daughter. She is very aggressive toward her 2 year old sister, and 1 year old brother. She hits, shoves, pinches, pulls hair, kicks, scratches, sometimes for no apparent reason. She is not only doing this to her sister and brother she does this to my husband and I as well. If I say something like, "No, we aren't going to eat a snack I'm making dinner it will be done in just a few minutes" Anyone in her path is a target of her aggression.

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#2 of 7 Old 11-02-2012, 02:02 PM
 
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I have the same problem with my 3 yo DS......he is so aggressive towards his baby brother and I for the slightest thing (being asked not to do something, or to do something he doesn't want to, or if the baby makes even the slightest cry).  He does exactly what you described, and if I try to ask him why he did it, or what he was feeling at the time etc.  he just says " I don't know, I wanted to". AHHHHHHH.  So frustrating!!!! It makes it very hard to talk about alternate ways to let his anger and frustration out when he either can't or won't acknowledge what is making him do it.   I know that my post is not offering any advice for you, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat. I hope someone replies to your thread soon.....I need some ideas too, as I find myself getting less and less gentle with my discipline!eyesroll.gif

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#3 of 7 Old 11-04-2012, 11:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bouncymummy View Post

I have the same problem with my 3 yo DS......he is so aggressive towards his baby brother and I for the slightest thing (being asked not to do something, or to do something he doesn't want to, or if the baby makes even the slightest cry).  He does exactly what you described, and if I try to ask him why he did it, or what he was feeling at the time etc.  he just says " I don't know, I wanted to". AHHHHHHH.  So frustrating!!!! It makes it very hard to talk about alternate ways to let his anger and frustration out when he either can't or won't acknowledge what is making him do it.   I know that my post is not offering any advice for you, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat. I hope someone replies to your thread soon.....I need some ideas too, as I find myself getting less and less gentle with my discipline!eyesroll.gif

i tried to show her she could hit the couch or her pillow instead yeah no luck it only lasted 2 minutes. it is very frustrating thank you i don't feel so alone in this now hugs i know how you are feeling

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#4 of 7 Old 11-05-2012, 10:25 AM
 
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I'm currently trying the "ignore the  aggressor" technique where I ignore my DS when he hits/pinches etc, and give all my attention to the hurt person (baby) saying something like "poor baby, brother needs to know how to use his words, not hands" or something like that.  I've had a little bit of success, but I'm not sure how it's going to work when I'm the target-give myself a big hug maybe? smile.gif

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#5 of 7 Old 11-07-2012, 02:36 PM
 
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I'm not sure if this is in the scope of gentle discipline.  My sister has a similar issue with her toddler and i suggested getting a doll just for taking out aggression on. 

I told her to then show her how to use the doll when she's not angry or being aggressive and explaining that it's ok to hit, bite, throw, the doll but not real people.

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#6 of 7 Old 11-07-2012, 04:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Amor Rays View Post

I'm not sure if this is in the scope of gentle discipline.  My sister has a similar issue with her toddler and i suggested getting a doll just for taking out aggression on. 

I told her to then show her how to use the doll when she's not angry or being aggressive and explaining that it's ok to hit, bite, throw, the doll but not real people.

im going to try that thank you

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#7 of 7 Old 11-08-2012, 04:11 PM
 
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One thing I read that works well for us is saying yes as much as possible... So it isn't "No, you can't have those cookies" it's "yes, you can have one cookie after your nap." For us, the ipad is the coveted item and she asks constantly for her favourite shows so i use yes to remind her of the ipad rule. "Yes, you can have a little ipad time after we are all done supper!"

This way they aren't met with total opposition, but instead are given a time frame or parameters for when they can expect to have what they want.

Don't get me wrong, there are nights where I have to repeat myself to get her attention and avoid the tantrum. And sometimes she will melt down anyway. But overall it has gotten us through a lot!
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