I have changed - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 12-30-2012, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
homeschoolingmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 958
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Not even sure why I am posting this.  I used to be about listening more. Lately I feel differently.  

I feel like when I say something they have to listen.  I do give them freedoms but talking back will get consequences.  Not picking something up will be given consequences.  I still do not believe in spanking or that kind of punishment.  But I do believe that they should listen to my husband and I when we ask them to do something.  We are their parents.  We are not strict but we can raise our voices when we are frustrated.  I am ok with that now.  We are a loving family just trudging along. :)

I just think it is strange that I went from OH maybe they shouldn't have to clean up after themselves because they are their own beings and they should want to do it and if they don't we do it.  Now I think...no way.  You mess it, you clean it.  If you don't, I can toss it or you can clean it.  It is definitely a change but I feel, a needed one in our family.

homeschoolingmama is online now  
#2 of 4 Old 12-30-2012, 04:19 PM
 
rightkindofme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 4,642
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)

Rock on with your bad self, sister. thumb.gif


My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

rightkindofme is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 12-30-2012, 06:18 PM
 
MamaScout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: somewhere on the yellow brick road
Posts: 256
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I feel you. I am at that point too. I am the parent. What I ask of my children is not unreasonable: Clean up after yourself. Be respectful of your parents and each other.

 

My mantra: I AM IN CHARGE.

 

(And we homeschool too. I think it's a bit different when your kids are with you all day long.)
 

MamaScout is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 01-04-2013, 06:18 AM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,796
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 119 Post(s)

Honestly, I think these evolutions are about being a good parent to your particular child. We come to parenting with ideals about what kind of parent we want to be...and then we get a kid with their own personalities. When I hear a parent of a young child talk about GD as if they are going to always be the one who gets to drive the type of GD they use, I kind of shake my head and a, "BTDT" way. 

 

I'm in an interesting place because I have an 11 year old who requires one sort of discipline and I also have a 1.5 year old who requires an totally different approach. It's kind of crazy town in our house sometimes. It's hard for me to meet both kid's needs sometimes. 

 

My 11 year old really craves boundaries, consistency and routine - what she calls "strictness". It's really not my style, which is part of why she craves it. I know she also greatly prefers if I can provide that without yelling or being angry (who doesn't?) but given the choice, I think she would prefer frustrated strictness over permissivness or overly laborious, talk orientated consensual parenting. 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off