Large Family...kids not lsitening...not doing chores...HELP - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 06-03-2013, 05:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So....my husband and I have 6 kids (13,10,9, 6, 4, and 2). My husband is the full-time SAHD. The kids are driving us crazy!!!  They are great kids in general, but they are having a few "issues". First of all they do not seem to listen to anything we say....unless they are not supposed to hear it....or unless I have said it so many times I have to finally yell.  Second....they are fighting like crazy.  Third....they are not doing their chores. No matter how many times we tell them "how" to do them they always seem to half-a** them. I am so frustrated.

 

Finally...one additonal suggestion....my 2 year old is RUDE!!!  He is pretty spoiled as he has 2 parents and 5 older siblings addressing his every need....but he is at the age where temper tantrums are flaring up and so we are going through the hitting phase and the demanding phase. For example....he will tell us to get hime something NOW.  Now....I do not want to hear NOW from my 2 year old.

 

Please Mamas....help me out....

Alicia

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#2 of 3 Old 06-03-2013, 09:45 PM
 
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Wowsers!  I only have three.  But here's what I think I would do.

 

I think I would probably concentrate on the three older ones, but individually.  Do you regularly make time for one-on-one time?  The 13 year old in particular could be brought to see things through your eyes, and getting one or two of the oldest three "on your side" could really help.  If you are worried that they would balk or roll eyes at the chores issues, you might instead ask them for advice about what could be done about the 2 year old.  That question may even work with the 6 and 4 year old.  Help get them on your team- the team that wants family life to role along more smoothly.

 

Do you want to restructure your chores system?  Maybe at the very least have "open enrollment" for chores, get the list on the table and let people sign up for what they want?  Maybe boredom is one of the issues.  You could also restructure with some external motivators of some sort, even if it's just public recognition of who has done what.

 

And then there's always the witholding of the wireless password each day until the chores are done... winky.gif


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#3 of 3 Old 06-08-2013, 02:13 AM
 
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I hear ya! Our children are 12, 9, 7, 5 and 1. Plus we frequently have other children over, or are babysitting someone. 

 

Quote:
Third....they are not doing their chores. No matter how many times we tell them "how" to do them they always seem to half-a** them.

 

This is so common! I wish I had great advice for you, something to fix it so that you didn't have to send the kids back to redo the chore they did halfway, but sending them back to redo it is what we do. Hallway not swept all the way? Whoever was supposed to do it sweeps it again. Kid who took the kitchen trash out forgets to put a new bag in? I tell them to go put a bag in. It's a lot of work, but that's all I've come up with.

 

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For example....he will tell us to get hime something NOW.  Now....I do not want to hear NOW from my 2 year old.

 

So, for this, I would try to think about where he's picking it up? It is you or dh? The older kids? TV? 

 

Can the source be addressed so that he isn't hearing people speak to each other in a way that you don't want to hear?


Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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