getting back on track??? - Mothering Forums
Gentle Discipline > getting back on track???
bohemianmama's Avatar bohemianmama 01:38 PM 12-26-2013
We have had A LOT of change in the past 6 months. My husband lost his job, we moved from Wa to AK, we stayed with my parents for several months while ny husband renovated their rental house for us to live in* its VERY tiny but we get to live in it for free* DD1 started 3 rd grade DS 1 started kinder. I have a 2 yo home with me and gave birth to dd2 in sept. DH was finally able to get a decent job here. So we are finally getting back on track. Basically I am saying our life has been upside down for a while and now I need to get it back on track.

Our diet has been horrible and I find my kids acting horribly and I know ut has a lot to do with it. I am trying to reshape their pallets to real food again. Is it horrible to offer a treat after meals? Yes I am talking bribery. I will never force my kids to eat anything. DS1 doesnt want to eat anything!

What would a good GD way to go about this. I never serve big portions so I know that they can finish their plates. So far I have been simply saying at the beginning of the meals if they finish their plate they may have a small treat. Not yellinh or forcing leaving the choice to eat or not to them. I will not make seperate meals.

SweetSilver's Avatar SweetSilver 05:44 PM 12-26-2013

After raising two picky eaters (one with allergies) I have no trouble saying that a small bribe to finish a meal is perfectly fine.  Yes, they might eat just to get the reward.  Worst case scenario, it might escalate to where you are negotiating every bite.  But if you get to that point, you've got nothing to lose anyway, I feel.  Not every kid is going to do that, anyhow.  I feel like the conversations about filling up on good food before getting something yummy but empty is well worth having.


Downside: My girls *do* negotiate every bite.  Yes, worst-case scenario.  It can be tiring.  But I've been dealing with issues that border on medical since dd1 was an infant.  Now, when they ask how much of a treat they earned, I ask them to suggest an amount, that by now they know about how much.  They do appear to be internalizing the routine.


If it's just a matter of bad habits to break, I'd say go for it.  Could you do better?  Yeah, maybe.  Bribery is not my first philosophical choice.  But if it ends up being a fallback when all else seems to fail, or you are too exhausted to try, it's not the end of the world.   

One_Girl's Avatar One_Girl 07:27 PM 12-26-2013
I have no problem making dessert something we have after healthy food is finished at dinner time. I also have no problem only making one dinner option. I have never negotiated or stated it as a bribe. When dd asks about having junk food I tell her "yes when you finish the food on your plate." If she didn't finish that was her choice but typically she saw me eating dessert and finishes.