Irritating two-year old - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 8 Old 03-03-2014, 08:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Love DS to the moon and back, but in the spirit of "fun" he likes to be very physical with us and it's really irritating. He gets up in the recliner while I'm nursing DS2 and climbs around my back pushing on my neck. When we are lying in bed reading to him, he will get up on DH and knee his chest or sit straddling him and bounce up and down on him really hard. He will come up to me and play with my hair, then get his hands stuck and laugh and pull on me. When I'm sitting, he will put his little pointy feet on my thighs and jump on me. It hurts! And it's annoying! And when we get annoyed, he laughs at us. Sigh. Love that kid, but this is hard when taking care of an infant. My patience is running thin. 

 

(I should mention that he loves to do everything with me and I am NOT the type of person who has ever spent a lot of time sitting down. Typically we are busy all day, working around the house or going outside. But when I started being stuck in a chair nursing DS2, he started this behavior. When I was pregnant and needing to rest a lot, he would just lay with me and nurse. That's also not always an option now since I am always nursing DS2)

 

What strategies do y'all have? Distraction/redirection ain't working.


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#2 of 8 Old 03-03-2014, 08:57 PM
 
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Hugs to you mama. My 2 year old I feel beats us up all the time on accident!
Humm, what do I do. I think making activity bags is a great idea. We just recently got Woden train tracks so ds loves to do that. Coloring books are big here too.. I guess it is like distraction." Bubbles, why don't you go color or park your cars in the garage?" Ds" oh yeah" me " nice"
Does your ds play alone at times?
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#3 of 8 Old 03-03-2014, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He can definitely play alone and that's a sanity-saver. Sometimes when he is being too physical, I tell him that I need space and could he go to his room and play. That works maybe 20% of the time. I'm worried though that he is needing attention and that this is too dismissive. I also don't think it's fair/respectful of him to harass me all day, so where's the line? 

 

I definitely would say that he needs more activity. He doesn't get to go outside very much since we have a (very fussy) infant that I'm focusing on lately (and it's too cold outside for DS2). He definitely is the type that gets cooped up inside, so I think he's letting his energy out on us. What can I channel it into right now!?


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#4 of 8 Old 03-03-2014, 10:13 PM
 
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We also just got a small workout trampoline and our ds loves it. We sit right next to it while he jumps and we sing songs and put pillows around it when he wants to jump off of the trampoline. One, he uses energy and two, we are doing the activity together( he feels that way) when actually he's doing most of it. Could you find something like this that can be done while you are breast-feeding? Also, can you just have a heart to heart with him and have him use his words when he wants to play with you? And then you can make various play dates (5 minutes) throughout the day.
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#5 of 8 Old 03-05-2014, 12:24 PM
 
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Are you expressing PAIN or only annoyance?  Tell him and show him that he is HURTING you.  Even exaggerate a little.  Don't yell at him, but don't just say, "Jumping hurts Mommy," in a sugary gentle voice; say, "OWWW!!!"  Make sure he understands that he's hurting you.  That may help.

 

However, kids this age don't necessarily feel much empathy and may not understand that other people really do feel things the way they do.  More physical activity is a great idea.  You could give him little tasks like, "Run around that chair 5 times!  Now, can you do it hopping on one foot?"


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#6 of 8 Old 03-05-2014, 03:19 PM
 
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Hi htovjm,

 

My guess is that he wants your attention because he's having to now share it with his sibling.  He's asking for attention in one of the few ways he knows how. Another guess is that he might feel a little bit hurt that you are giving so much attention to his sibling - attention that he used to get, so I wonder if being rough is one way he might be dealing with his hurt/anger.

 

Here's one article that talks about the importance of spending one on one time with the older sibling.

Parent Quality Time Helps Sibling Relationships

 

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#7 of 8 Old 03-31-2015, 04:51 PM
 
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I definitely believe that he is engaging in this behavior to get attention. I work with children with behavioral difficulties and see this all of the time. I know it sounds ridiculous but children want attention whether it be positive or negative, yep, even negative attention. It can really be difficult to remember this throughout a busy day with little ones but try to find opportunities to praise him and provide attention for the good things he is doing (ie. "wow look at you, you cleaned up all of your toys, want to read a book together or play hide-n-seek?"). I know you mentioned you have a baby at home so maybe doing this while the baby is napping. Ignoring inappropriate attention seeking behaviors will cause them to stop so long as they are given opportunities to receive attention from you or your hubby in other ways!
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#8 of 8 Old 04-08-2015, 08:22 AM
 
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I second the suggestion of a small trampoline. We got ours for the second son and it was a lifesaver for several years. It's only about 5 inches off the ground and maybe 30 inches across so he couldn't launch himself off it and get hurt. He loved both the attention and motion, "watch me jump 10 times!"

I also gave my boys physical challenges whenever they were antsy: "I bet you can't balance on one foot while I count to ten! ...can't clap while stomping your feet! ...can't walk like a crab/lion/bear/kangaroo!"

It sounds like he's craving physical closeness. My second son needs tons of physical touch, which made me want to weep in my first trimester when I was constantly feeling sick/tired. So, at the rare moment I wasn't feeling any nausea I'd say, "Give me your biggest, strongest, most powerful hug for as long as you can!" (Luckily about 30 seconds was the usual extent of that.) Or, I'd offer to rub his back if he'd lay still beside me.

If helps if you can be pre-emptive and offer the attention before they demand it inappropriately but, I am soooo sympathetic to your current mothering situation! Sounds like you're being very thoughtful to your son's needs. Great job!

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