Originally Posted by tadamsmar
It's a lot easier to influence someone asking for help on a forum like this, and perhaps help them.
I have been posting her for like 12 years now.
I think members who come back to parenting and share their stories here are wonderfully generous and valuable. I do think there can be a bit of tension if giving advice from outside of the "trenches" though.
The thing is, is that we forget things. I will probably never again in my life be able to 100% sympathize with a sleep deprived parent of an infant. Or the pain of breastfeeding through after pains. I remember it, sure, but not quite in the same way as someone in it, obviously.
Also, those of us posting to offer support are also often posting for support ourselves. So,while I may feel like I have all the answers to the OP's question on this thread (I don't but in case I come off that way), I have posted in this form MANY times to get help for something I was struggling with.
I know you shared your story about how bribery didn't work well with your child, which was appreciated by me. As was your voice for being mindful about rewarding unwanted behavior (I actually read this same advice on a Natural Child article, which I find generally pretty progressive and "AP"/GD).
My point is not to make you feel unwelcome but, rather to point out that if you are not here to learn but, rather give advice, please be aware that praise and withholding feedback, although fitting with GD (IMO), are both on the rather conservative end of the GD spectrum. I believe that if you were actually parenting right now (not grand parenting, which is miles different - and I have VERY involved parents), I think that some of the limitations of this type of discipline would be apparent in more than just a theoretical way.