Keeping Your Own Anger in Check pt. 2 - Page 12 - Mothering Forums

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#331 of 335 Old 11-09-2004, 03:03 AM
 
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I REALLY support you taking the job. You have to do what you have to do to provide for your family. and I think the methodical work sounds appealing too. not too draining, hopefully. It is really hard to lengthen those hours between nursing--pump break? Look, there are no perfect options in this world, but at least dh is home to take the dcs. anyway, i just want you to know you are supported.

And I am right there with the 'hair trigger' and it's really been a lot lately and i'm trying to stop trying to figure out why and just correct it. one thing i've been trying is in the moment to tell myself, "I am for their greatness. Is this (the action I'm taking/words I'm saying) for his greatness?" and then I can at least contemplate stopping.

It's worked a few times, but I'll keep you posted!

Mom to 11 y.o. lawyer, 9 y.o. actor, and 4 y.o. pilot. I believe 'em on those, too!

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#332 of 335 Old 11-09-2004, 05:11 AM
 
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I haven't had a chance to read all the posts yet in either thread, but just found this and needed to post to subscribe so i can come back. I have never lost my temper with dd (2) before, but i did tonight. yelled at her and left her in the bed and left the room. dh was really upset to and screamed at her, which made me feel worse. dd was having bad day, screamed and cryed for no apparent reason on and off for 7 hours tonight. finally let her "win" and get out of bed and she fell asleep on floor in living room. she has never fallen asleep anywhere like that before! can't wait to have time to be awake and read the threads. thanks for being here!
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#333 of 335 Old 11-09-2004, 06:29 PM
 
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Fianna, thanks for the welcome!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fianna
. I think that in the midst of some of my dc's "worst" behavior, I have a tendency to think "If I were an effective parent then my children wouldn't be behaving this way."
Oh man, this is so true. In the moment that the behavior is happening, I am processing all these thoughts like, "I'm a terrible parent....she's always going to act this way.......this is how it starts........She's acting like that kid did in Barnes and Noble today.......my mom was a crappy parent and now I don't know how to be a good mom" Uuuggh.

I think what you pointed out is so important, we have to detach ourselves from our child's behavior. I wonder if it's hard for AP moms because we are such feeling persons and used to empathizing with our child? Is that what you mean by codependent, Bears mama? That we find it difficult to separate the responsibilty for our child's behavior from our own? Wow, light bulbs are really going off for me here. Because my mom often made me responsible for HER feelings and behavior and that really messed me up.

looking forward to more discussion
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#334 of 335 Old 11-09-2004, 06:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmgarda
Greensleeves - I remember the 18-22 month period being one of the hardest to handle. New mobility and independece = difficult toddler!
Thanks, this too shall pass! She has definitely entered a new frontier. She's always been very assertive and vocal with me, which I love, but when I'm frazzled and her demands have been just constant, I can't handle it. And she is getting very "my way or the highway", wanting to do things that she is just too small to do, and getting angry when I prevent them.

I think yesterday was really challenging because we both were sleep deprived, and I took us out to an activity because I thought she needed the stimulation and activity, when what she really needed was a bunch of sleep! It's been hard for me to balance respecting her requirement for sleep/down time vs. socialization. Me, I'm happy at home but she is very outgoing and loves people, and I want to encourage that aspect of her personality. But I don't want to ignore her needs either.

Ah, it's all a balancing act, I guess.
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#335 of 335 Old 01-16-2007, 08:19 PM
 
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I LOVE this thread!
I too am a yeller. My Mom was also a yeller and I just don't know any different. I do okay for awhile and then WHAM I lose it. I can feel it when I start getting to my ends. Its almost like I can feel my blood pressure rise. I am trying to reconginze that at that point I need to step away.

Of course I too am married to a very patient man. He never tells me to stop yelling and loves me in spite of it.

I'm trying.

I have 4 girls. 9,4.5,almost 3 and 5 months.
Chandi

: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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