An aggressive 5yr old has appeared
I could use some advice on curbing super aggressive behavior with my DS, almost 5yr old.
Quick back story: I'm single mom, 38, he's my only child. We have been working a fantastic summer of a reward chart - getting him involved with activities at home, clean-up play room, vacuuming, helping in the kitchen, etc. Totally empowering him to be part of our house, and he gets to pick which activities to do to warrant the reward. Awesome -- Maybe!??! or, maybe empowering him to think he controls his day? I dunno, one of my questions.
3 weeks of vacation, my mom (who lives 2500 miles away) came to help. 3 days in, she threatens punishment in a way I do not - which is OK because it's going to be 2 weeks, give Grandma power, got it.
Except... everything changed.
DS decided he didn't like grandma after that.
Now Everything grandma says.. he fights. "I'm not talking to YOU, I'm talking to Mommy"... and if she speaks, even utters anything... he Lunges at her. Hits her. Bites her.
And my mom is 5'1" and super tiny. And my son is 50lbs of all boy. Scared her instantly. A behavior I've never seen him do.
So for two weeks, I was able to curb all this by, well, interjecting.. remove the whole son-grandma interaction. "You Do Not Hit Grandma", and get him to follow the rules by my discipline of taking away whatever toy he's playing with for it's time out. He never took it out on ME, he obeyed the rules once I interjected.
But... he never stopped trying to hit grandma. He never found his respect for Grandma because she would look at me with pleading eyes, and so I'd interject... and resolve.
Except, grandma left yesterday.
And today we were at the lake just me and the boy. It was time to leave and what used to be a normal transition, he just said NO! And came at me with fists. And the mouth was open in a bite.
And now instead of being the interjector... I was the one being the reason to piss him off... he came at Me. And I wasn't able to stop him. Toy in time-out didn't work; threats didn't work. After trying to reason with him for some time, I'll be honest, I just picked up a kicking-screaming 50lb 5yr old and threw him in the car; he took off his seat-belt, and we drove home illegally for 2miles, with him huddled behind the seat.
So... here I am going.. WTF just happened. It was one thing to see him that way with Grandma, but with ME?! Never.
Apparently we've had an entire dynamic shift. Apparently now anytime he is challenged, his response is to Hit/Kick/Bite.
I don't know what happened to my sweet boy 2 weeks ago where we were having a fantastic summer. Maybe I was indulging him too much; maybe the reward system was too much in his control.. but it Was Working. But now everything we had in place is disrupted. And I honestly can't wait... I mean, I don't have two weeks to wait for life to get back to normal. I cannot handle his 50lbs biting and lunging at me.
single, WAH mom, to my only very kind & sweet lil man
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