Originally Posted by Good Enough Mum
the burden of taking care of children should NOT BE FALLING ON WOMEN JUST BY VIRTUE OF US BEING WOMEN.
yes! i wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. =)
if doing AP + cosleeping w/ breastfeeding on demand (incl at night), that is a significant period of interrupted sleep (easily 2+ yrs per kid) for the breastfeeding momma, specifically. since the OP was specifically talking about the AP stuff w/ the new baby, i was thinking about this early period in particular.
i was, of course, bursting at the seams to veer into the topic of dads (or other non-birth parents), which is why i make a couple nods toward that point. but my comment was already not very concise, so i had to restrain myself.
glad you added it though. people really do overlook this way too much. if non-birth parents aren't being equal partners in parenting, it's really sad. do moms just accept that their partners are socialized inadequately to be capable/willing? divorce? i've seen WAY too many heartbreaking posts on here that describe, essentially, that dilemma.
it's when i realize how frequently men don't construe their roles as parents as being as fully involved as their wives that i feel so lucky i don't have to navigate that issue. people often fall in love and commit to each other long before having kids or figuring out what kind of parents they'd be, so i think it can be a sudden & tragic discovery at the worst possible time.
i hope mommas who have husbands like this are somehow still able to raise boys who will grow up to be different, to create awesome husbands for the next generation, but i suspect they'll be learning more from the example set for them, so this seems a difficult problem to solve.
demanding workplaces that actually support the family values our country is supposedly so into, though, seems like something we should still try to make happen. then whatever the situation at home, regardless how much help there may or may not be from a second parent, the BFing AP momma can get cut some slack for a couple years with each kid (for a lot of women, that's 4 to 6 years of BFing nights in the course if her career).