Linda on the move described things really well. I believe every action has a consequence of some sort. My 16 year old has a driver's permit, but he is aware, and has been for a few years now, that if he chooses to drink and drive or drive under any kind of influence, it will mean he will need to take a time out on driving. I won't sell the vehicle (he doesn't own one yet and I still wouldn't sell it if he had one), or make him stay home, or take tv, games, or whatever else away. I won't lecture or belittle or turn it into a crisis or make him doubt himself on some stupid or traumatic level. It's been made clear he wouldn't be a poopy or corrupt human being for doing so - it would just mean he wasn't quite ready to take that challenge on... that he wasn't quite responsible enough yet, and that's ok. We have let him know that if that happened while in our care, when and if he felt he was ready to take that responsibility back on - he just needs to let us know and why he feels he is ready. That's the reality, and my boys know that they are not my only responsibility in life. I do have a responsibility to society and my mind will never change on that level. This can be viewed as punishment, but that's not how my kids perceive it. They won't be surprised or feel screwed over, if they make a poor choice and can't drive. It won't damage our relationship or the impact we have on them. My kids would think we didn't really care about them if we did it any different. I certainly would not let either of my 2 boys show up home drunk after driving and just give them the message that because they weren't caught by law enforcement that they were ok. lol. That's permissive and neglectful parenting. We are a punishment free home, but helping a child be accountable with empathy, understanding, and grace (no lectures, shame/guilt/threats) is not punishment.
Also, enviro, most likely your child had too much to begin with. If he doesn't care about it now, then he doesn't need it - especially after this amount of years. You might need it or feel some attachment, but clearly your child doesn't. Parents often overload their children with material items at a young age, then blame or get frustrated with the child when they can't handle it - when in actuality it's the parent's fault or issue. It sounds as though you are making or creating a battle when there isn't one - as if it's your personal battle with yourself and your beliefs - not your kid's. We don't teach kids to care or take care of their stuff by taking it away and packing it up and then 1 or 2 years later making them choose between items. You should have gone through it and respected you child's lack of desire to do so, because most likely he had moved on. You should have found what you could sell or make money off of and left it at that. Or maybe packed away and saved childhood mementos for your grandchildren, or both... fulfilling your own need without making it your son's issue or concern.