You're not alone! My 7yo is very much like that. Some of what you describe sounds like OCD (the shoe tying, and the show rewinding) so I would encourage you to look into PANDAS/PANS (www.pandasnetwork.org
) and disregard the part about it being sudden onset. It can come on gradually. That also might not be it. But, its worth a little bit of exploring. Through the PANDAS network, I found an ND that I'm working with who is experienced not only with PANDAS, but other behavioral issues in kids. We've done a lot of testing, bloodwork (yes, its like giving a cat a bath) and the 23&me test which is just spit, so its easy. Its genetic testing. You might have heard of MTHFR? Its basically where the body can't process folic acid properly. Cliff notes version: those with MTHFR benefit from taking methylfolate (a form their body can use) it is VERY common. I call it the "hollywood mutation" because its the one that I see posted about on facebook a lot and stuff. Its getting recognition as an issue. BUT. It is only one tiny part of the problem.
My son, for example, is +/+ for MAO mutation. there are 3 differen't COMT mutations, and he is +/- for all 3. +/- is less serious than +/+ but his dr pointed out, he doesn't have any fully functioning COMT gene to pick up the slack. Okay, so.. this is all a bunch of gibberish letters and nonsense, right? Now, this is complex stuff that I only have the faintest kindergarten level of understanding
so I'm butchering these explanations. but these genes are responsible for the brain's ability to break down neurotransmitters, like serotinin, dopamine, etc. Here's something I found about my son's combination of mutations:
" When a (+/+) MAO-A mutation is combined with a (+/+) or (+/-) COMT V158M mutation, imbalances in neurotransmitters may be more severe. These imbalances can potentially lead to neuropsychiatric conditions and symptoms such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), mood swings, and aggressive and/or violent behavior."
These aren't just "bad kids" who love to make trouble. And its NOT your fault for not disciplining appropriately. He says he hates his brains
He knows something isn't right. He doesn't want to be like that. He knows his brain isn't working the way he wants it to.
So, what we are doing. Based on a combination of test results and symptoms, his dr has him on different supplements. We wait 2 weeks before starting new ones. I keep track in a spreadsheet how the day was (green, yellow, orange, red) as well as how many big meltdowns we have, and what supplements he's currently on. We track any changes, for better or worse, when we start something new. Its hard. It sucks. Yes, he takes a whole bunch of pills every day. But, we are noticing small little improvements. We noticed after a certain supplement, no more red days, and no more than 1 meltdown a day. That's better than a 1-2 red days a week, and days with 2-3 big melt downs. Progress. There's no magic pill that fixes him overnight. We just shoot for next month being better than last month, ya know? facebook groups have been a HUUUGE support. It feels so good to meet other parents with kids who are just like yours, who "get it" and are making progress! I recommend the fb group recovering kids biomedical healing. Its huge. It will likely simultaneously overwhelm the crap out of you, and fascinate you. You'll probably be able to connect with someone locally to find local resources. Feel free to pm me.