Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: New England
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|Originally posted by Just Wondering
Everyone who is TCS here treats the concept as if it is fact, and proven, and yet it is not.
|Children learn by seeing behaviour repeated by their parents. What sort of parents constantly swear in front of their children? I assume the people who set the site up...which raises serious questions about the validity of the ASSUMPTIONS upon which their theory is based. After all, we have to accept the assumptions, to accept the theory.|
|In other words, our children do what we don't want them to do because we coerce them?|
|So are we supposed to let the child decide what is right and wrong?|
|With such a new concept, we are looking at an experiment here and now.|
|What they call parental control which is coercive, I might not consider as breaching a child's right at all. For instance:
My child will sit in his car seat whether he wants to or not, and I don't give a brass razzoo about whether the child believes that he should not be in a car seat. And my six year old will not walk through town wearing no clothes, just because he hates them. And my adolescent is not going to have a mercedes Benz as a first car, or to use a more apt definition, the designer jeans that are the current peer pressure - because we don't have the money spare to do that. And if he thinks he is going to do speed, and other recreational drugs in this house, because he thinks that is right, then he has another think coming.
|But then, I have very sensible children, who have always been in on everything in this family. Including Budget discussion from the age of 8 years.|
|and which does not prepare children to cope with the wrold today, perhaps even with a view to changing it|
|I know a few young mothers here who I think were pretty much brought up sort of TCS. Certainly not so much Laisse faire. They were never smacked, or yelled at, and always wore what they wanted when they wanted, and got the food they liked... And they are the mothers who are finding motherhood very very difficult. They didn't go through labour (why bother with pain) they didn't breastfeed, (they didn't WANT to)--- in fact, their children are emotional antagonists to their lives, because all their lives, they have got either what they wanted, or forced a compromise.|
|TCS creates division amongst parents.|
|it does make people like Heavenly and Jbcjmom and others feel sort of railroaded.|
|You might not like my opinion. But you did ask for it...|
|Originally posted by k'smami
I think that when just wondering said "here" she meant New Zealand.
DS: 18 DD: 15 DD: 8 11/10 4/11
DD: 3 8/11
DS: 18 DD: 15 DD: 8 11/10 4/11
DD: 3 8/11
|Originally posted by grisletine
i think we just hve different definitions or something. you're talking about rational thought.. that it comes after the baby has processed enough information ...
but if the child is capable of rational thought when she learns something doesnt that make her rational b4 she learns it?
im sorry i have a hard time articulating my thoughts but there is a differnce between rational thought and being rational.
like you were speaking of a game, that you cannot rationally analyze the agme until you know the rules. so maybe you cant make rational decisons about the game yet but does that mean you're not rational at all? you yourself said youre capable of logical analyses on it when you learn the rules and the outcome is rational thought.
i feel that you were rational b4 you learned the rules because you were capable of logical analyses, even though you did not have all the info to make the rational outcome.
am i making sense?
|Originally posted by jbcjmom
Just a reminder as we all throw the word "discipline" around, that it originated from the latin "disciplina" meaning "teaching or learning." Doesn't this definition fit in with what we are ALL trying to do regardless of our ideals or theologies.
I am also wondering why we seem to feel it necessary to prove ourselves as having the "right" method of parenting. Although there are definitely some wrong ways to parent, is there really any one ''right" way to parent? We are all very different people with different backgrounds, doesn't it stand to reason that our experiences would shape our values and ideals, and thus our parenting?