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#61 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 10:41 AM
 
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Oh Jesilynne, she's your first chewer, isn't she? I do sympathise!! If you come up with a good, gentle solution to the problem, I'd love to hear about it! Just for a bit of background, my DD (6) has chewed the necks of about... oh 8 or so nice shirts or dresses recently. Just today I took her out in public & she chewed her hankie the whole time. I see her school uniform & can count the teeth marks, although this is getting better now. And just for good measure, DS (now 4) is on his second woven cloth blanket, after chewing the first one to bits. It looks like he is up for a third blanket soon. What can ya do, ya know? At least chewing doesn't seem to disrupt the teeth like thumb-sucking does......

oh yeah, mamajama, just a quick thought..... we live in the tropics & worm regularly. My little darlings still chew, bless 'em......

Aussiemumhippie.gif (40), DH caffix.gif (39), DD reading.gif (13), & DS 2whistle.gif(11).

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#62 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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:

Gosh, an anthropologist would have a lot of good material here! Lots of snot issues, sitting on heads, and Daddy's nipples seem to be in great danger! :LOL I'm writing a book on gentle discipline and I'm getting some great inspiration here, too, and some quotes I may be able to use in a little side-bar. Thanks! And keep'em coming!
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#63 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 03:45 PM
 
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No eating the catfood and then giving Mommy a kiss
No wrapping Mommy's bra around your neck!
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#64 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 04:02 PM
 
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* If the baby is crying, it's not a fun game.
* Do NOT hop on pop (trying to keep my nephews off
of my FIL while he is sleeping)
* Tampons are not nunchucks (sp?)
* The cat box is not for digging.

Mama to Jet 6/05, Marvel 8/06 and Cash and Fox 2/09
Expecting Ada Marianne 11/14
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#65 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 09:12 PM
 
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No drinking the bath water, you just farted in it.

No laying, sitting, sleeping on the cat, she will eventually scratch you.

Once food is in your mouth, chew and swallow it.

Please leave all pincher bugs, rolly pollies, worms, spiders, crickets, banana slugs, and salamanders outside. They like it there!

We have others, but they are mostly about how many books you can look at/read while on the potty/going to bed....
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#66 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 09:36 PM
 
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Kazmir: is it ok to drink the bathwater before you fart in it?

We have lots of weird rules but the strangest one is actually for grownups: Before using the toaster, check for little plastic animals- our last toaster and a 2 inch zebra shared a sad and smelly demise. No idea how it got in there, she can't reach the toaster.
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#67 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 09:38 PM
 
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Only touch your own penis

Mama is not a Sherpa

Also:

Do not climb into the front windows while naked!

No hitting up total strangers for money!

And no bludgers in the living room!!
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#68 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 09:52 PM
 
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noses are not for biting
yes its fun to feed the baby like she was a puppy, but she's not
people who make excuses must wear a (clean) diaper for each excuse on some part of their body unitll I say it can be removed
no jumping on the bed unless mommy is present
mommys shirt is not a napkin
(and for DH) no distracting mommy at the store so you can put goodies in the cart!
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#69 of 235 Old 11-30-2004, 11:28 PM
 
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no running on the couch
no climbing on mama's butt
the toilet plunger is not a toy
please stop biting mama's back while we're out in the mei tai
and, last but not least, mama's boobies are not drums :LOL

successful #2 Jan. 25th - welcome Maisie Elise!
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#70 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 12:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djinneyah
the toilet plunger is not a toy
In our house it is.....we had a new one we'd never used and ds found it one morning. He loves it so much, I don't have the heart to take it away.

I'll add a new one though:


Chopsticks may be used to:
1)eat 2)drum 3)retend drive 4)hug
Chopsticks may not be used to:
1)perform nose surgery on mama 2) put in your diaper
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#71 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 12:43 AM
 
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We figured out this one last night with my 16 month old...

No sticking car keys in mommy's ear.

And...I think that's it for right now....

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#72 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 07:00 AM
 
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Oh man, this is a great thread! I don't have any yet, dd is 3 months next week, but I sure can't wait to try some of these out!! The most important one though...

Mommy is NOT a sherpa! (and for dh, WIFE is not a sherpa!)
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#73 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 12:02 PM
 
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: What a great thread!

-You can play "bongo butt" (yep, playing bongos on daddy's covered butt cheeks) but no "bongo penis" when he's changing clothes because that hurts and you can only touch your own penis anyway

-No eating the cat food

-No telling Grandma that her food is dry and yucky, even though it is, because that hurts her feelings

-Do not wipe your gooey hands on other people's clothes, use a napkin

-Do not lick people

-Only eat by sticking your whole face in the plate when you're at home and we have no company
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#74 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 12:21 PM
 
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"Don't chew on your underwear."

To dd, 4, last night.

Pick your own nose.
Don't yell "Mother of Pearl! Fire on the poop deck" unless we are at home.
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#75 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 03:12 PM
 
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-"Mommy I'm done poopin'!!" is not an appropriate way to request that I wipe your butt. Question form, with a please at the end, is the only way your tushie is getting wiped. Also, ask daddy occasionally too. I know I'm the "best butt wiper ever" but give daddy the chance to become great also.

-No riding the dog. No, she's not your horse.

-No showing the dog your vampire teeth in your mouth. It makes her nuts.

-Little green army men do not need to slide down the blind strings (2 new sets of blinds in the last 3 months ). Do not touch the blinds.

-No petting the fish.

-No tying anything up. Not the chairs, the stair railings, the dog, your clothes, my nice purses, the door knobs or yourself.

-Don't scrape anything on the walls. That noise makes me come completely unglued.

-No making your own toast, especially when mommy is outside with the dog.

-No answering daddy's work phone.

-You bring it, you carry it. I will only carry hats and gloves. Lemurs, bears, lions, baseball hats, lightsabers, swords, baseball gloves, handcuffs and trains are not mine. I carry my things, you carry yours. I love the mommy is not a Sherpa rule. I even got ds a tiny backpack when he was 2, he's carried all his own stuff since then, even diapers
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#76 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 05:51 PM
 
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here's another one

no sticking fingers in people's ears while they are sleeping :LOL
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#77 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 05:59 PM
 
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no pouring the water from the peri bottle(used for diaper wipes)in the frisbee and drinking from it!

dd loves to do this

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
.
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#78 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 06:00 PM
 
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Oh, and: ob tampons are not candy!

Due with number 5 in August. We do all that crunchy stuff.
.
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#79 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 06:27 PM
 
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#1: It's ok to lift Mama's shirt 1000 times a day to ensure my boobs and belly button are still where they were on times 1-999, but please don't do it in public and never do it to anyone other than Mama. People, especially women, find it disconcerting.
#2: Although I wipe your bottom, I really don't need your help wiping mine. Thanks anyway. And it's ok to scream "bye bye poopie" or "bye bye peepee" while we flush at home, but it's probably not that appropriate elsewhere.
#3: No licking Mama's glasses when she's wearing them ... or even when she isn't wearing them, for that matter.
#4: When Mama says "Buttons!" in a loud voice, that means don't touch the: remote controls, the phone, the stereo, the stove knobs, my cell phone or Palm Pilot, etc. We've already lost the color on one TV after you did something I have yet to figure out. You have lovely toys with every manner of button built for futzing with; please play with them instead.

wild.gif  kickin' it old school
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#80 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 06:39 PM
 
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No, you may not redistribute the mail.

(we live in an apt, and people put mistaken mail in this box on the bottom of the actual mailboxes and dd likes to take it and stick it into the slots on random people's mailboxes)

Homeschooling mom to 4 joy.gif

 

My Home Remedies Website treehugger.gif

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#81 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 08:58 PM
 
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Only three animals in the sling at one time.

The baby does not want a mohawk, honest.

Please keep all body parts away from the pug dogs' rectums.

Toddlers who cook have to wear a diaper.

A protein powder facial is not the best idea even if it is cool to have a green face. Please use makeup instead.
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#82 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 09:17 PM
 
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No, you do not know how to fly. Do not leap from the chair to the couch five feet away across the hardwood floor.

No touching Mommy's vagina. And yeah, I do mean vagina, really, that exact part.

No riding the big stuffed dog with no diaper.

No calling China. (She likes to push buttons on the cordless phone, and I told her once that I didn't want her to do it because she might call China by mistake, and she said, "But I want to call China!" Now when I try to take the phone, she says, "I. Want. To. Call. China!")
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#83 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 09:26 PM
 
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No eating gum you find stuck under chairs. Especially in the doctor's waiting room.

The dog doesn't like being put in a headlock, please don't.
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#84 of 235 Old 12-01-2004, 10:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fiddledebi
No calling China. (She likes to push buttons on the cordless phone, and I told her once that I didn't want her to do it because she might call China by mistake, and she said, "But I want to call China!" Now when I try to take the phone, she says, "I. Want. To. Call. China!")

Willow has called 911 and Alabama. We unplug the battery out of the phone now. lol I'm sure when she starts talking we'll have to find something fun to say.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#85 of 235 Old 12-02-2004, 12:22 AM
 
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Barbie is an Outside Toy. Unless you give her a crew cut and dye it green - then she can come back inside.

No, you can't call Grampy when he's in Uganda. And no, you don't have enough money to cover the long distance charges.
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#86 of 235 Old 12-02-2004, 12:22 AM
 
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Oh Boy!

Do not;
Maul, sit on, lay on, step on, squeeze, pinch, roll across the floor, lick her head, push over, take toys from or pinch the cheeks of your baby sister.

Do not climb on the deep freeze, the kitchen counter or the computer desk.

Don't hit me or scream at me every time I say no, pinch my cheeks, play drums on my breasts or climb on my back every time I lean over to get something.

Dad is a jungle gym, not me.

I know you like pillow fights and hiding under pillows but you can not do either too/with Emma; only mommy and daddy.

Don't drink your bathwater.

Don't play with the cat's food, water or litter box. Don't throw cat food or anything else at the cat.

Don't throw my laundry clean or dirty all over the place.

Please don't drag every dish I just washed all over the house. ( he needs his own set of cooking utensils just to play with)

:
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#87 of 235 Old 12-02-2004, 12:37 AM
 
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No touching the dog's penis.

No picking up goose poop off the grass.
And the accompanying rule -

No picking up dog poop off the sidewalk.
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#88 of 235 Old 12-02-2004, 12:52 PM
 
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This thread is too funny. Here are some of our rules...

*Pick your nose in the bathroom or your bedroom.
*Do not wipe your boogers on the wall.
*When we go to MiMi's (my mom) you have to wear underwear.
*Do not take your clothes off outside.
*Peeing in your pants on purpose is not funny!
*No putting your fingers in the babies mouth.
*No jumping off of Daddys guitar cases.
*No running around the house naked, screaming "naked baby butt" while Mommy is on the phone.
*No using the cell phone to call your "friends".
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#89 of 235 Old 12-03-2004, 01:40 AM
 
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<tuna and turkey do not go in your ears>

<don't spit off your highchair>

<don't call oma (grandma) in germany 3 times a day. at least not after dinner, cuz it's the middle of the night there>

<no jumping on the baby>

<don't eat out of the trash>

<no licking windows, mirrors, shoes, the floor, chairs in the dr's office....>
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#90 of 235 Old 12-04-2004, 11:42 PM
 
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Man, some of these are hilarious!

Don't bounce on daddy's testicles.

Don't play with your bum unless you're in the tub.

Don't play with the dirty dishes in the sink.

Don't stand in the patio door when you're naked.

Hamsters don't like to roll off chairs.

Please don't jiggle mommy's breasts so violently.

Grandma's cat does not need help to eat, leave her food in the bowl.

Talk to grandpa, don't just make funny sounds at him (dh's dad lives in England and we talk to him on yahoo, ds can hear himself talking though the speakers, so he just makes strange sounds over and over to hear himself)

I know there's probably more, but that's all I can think of for now.

BTW, we don't have this rule, since we haven't needed it, but when I asked ds what funny rules we have, he said "Don't pull the hamster's head."

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

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