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#121 of 235 Old 12-21-2004, 02:52 PM
 
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you can eat off your own plate with your fingers, but when you are eating off of mommy's you have to use a spoon.

Courtney and Cree, baby made 3, added one more then there were 4, sakes alive, then we had 5, another in the mix now we have 6!

A Momma in love with her Little Women-Jewel Face, Jo Jo Bean, June Bug, and Sweet Coraline.

 

 

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#122 of 235 Old 12-21-2004, 09:13 PM
 
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:

DS 6 DD 8
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#123 of 235 Old 12-22-2004, 02:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s_kristina
* * Please don't walk around the house like a dog with your butt up in the air for me to wipe it until you find me. Just call me to let you know you need help and I'll come wipe it.
!




Have you been hanging out with my three year old????

~C~
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#124 of 235 Old 12-22-2004, 02:06 AM
 
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From today's project:

You may not lay your head down in the frosting. Especially not when you then move to lay your head down in the sprinkles.

Oh boy, what a mess!
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#125 of 235 Old 12-22-2004, 02:19 PM
 
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This is great!!! I can't stop laughing!

Here is all I can think of now, but i can relate with alot of them.

"You can't go outside with just your boots and sun hat on, the neighbor's don't like it."

"yes, Daisy (the dog) does poop in the yard, but you need to stop doing it, your poop goes in the potty"

"please don't pull your pants down and show: the neighbor girl, the ultrasound tech, customers at work... etc, what kind of underwear you have on today"

+ + =
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#126 of 235 Old 12-22-2004, 02:50 PM
 
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don't lick the windows

if you must draw on the walls, make it those in YOUR room

no jumping off the top of the organ

leave the wheels ON the cars

no eating just the PB & J out of the sandwich
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#127 of 235 Old 12-22-2004, 02:51 PM
 
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Quote:
"You can't go outside with just your boots and sun hat on, the neighbor's don't like it."
now THAT'S one I gave up on! :LOL
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#128 of 235 Old 12-24-2004, 05:53 PM
 
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: :LOL

We only have a few so far...dd is only 11.5 months!

"Even though mama's boobies look like silly putty, they aren't! Please don't try to walk away while nursing!"

"Yes, the nipples may look like radio dials to you. They aren't! Don't twist them when we are trying to go to sleep. This station comes in just fine."

"No tugging on mama's pubic hair when we are taking a bath. And, if you must do it, at least have the courtesy to not laugh at me when I say: 'ouch!'"

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#129 of 235 Old 12-26-2004, 01:08 AM
 
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Its been a while but this thread is reminding me
control your a** when your are sitting on the furniture
no climbing the door jam
no baby talk
maybe usually means no
if I say no it doesn't count if you ask your dad
no painting the house with nail polish
no painting the dog
no abc gum from the pavement( after this I lightened up on sugar and gum and bought some)
no standing in the tree and peeing on people
you cannot invite people to parties I don't know about
----------------------------
for the older kids and a teen mom who lived with us

no booty call boyfriends
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#130 of 235 Old 12-26-2004, 08:53 PM
 
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We now joke that I should have told my son:

No sleeping in the car trunk!


Four years ago my son went to Florida to see a concert. The cars were lined up waiting to enter. It was hours until they would allow the cars to start moving and my college age son decided to sleep in the trunk (with the lid open) because he was tired from having been driving for hours. There was camping equipment and sleeping bags in the trunk.

A drunk driver in a big truck drove over my son's car with him in the trunk. He had to be air lifted from the Everglades to Ft. Lauderdale with head injuries. Seeing pictures of the car it is amazing he survived. I was home in Indiana, my youngest son was sick and there was no way I could fly to Florida. His friend was not injured in the accident because he was far enough away from the car.

Somehow the camping equipement protected his head and he recovered completely. He does have scars on his face and scalp where they put him back together. His brothers now know - No sleeping in the trunk! Actually they have learned a lot of things not to do because of their older brother.

: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#131 of 235 Old 12-26-2004, 10:22 PM
 
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Oh, these are funny! I'm so glad it's not just my house! Our only rule is respect( for yourself, others and the environment) ut I have said:
No, I am not going to let you cut off mommies nipple with those scissors
soap stuck up your vulva might sting
an almond might get stuck in your foreskin
people in the grocery store do not need to know mom wears thong underwear
when you say on the phone that your mommy went away and left you all alone, people might eleive you
pee can go in you potty or the ig potty- your sister is not an option!

I'm sure there is more but those were the memorable ones! :LOL
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#132 of 235 Old 01-12-2005, 07:10 PM
 
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Does anyone have more? I laughed until tears on some of these.

: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#133 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 06:34 PM
 
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Do not keep things in the pouch on the front of your underwear, it is not a pocket.

The actual use was explained as best as I could to my 3 yr old son and he just laughed at the idea and took off to find something else to put there.
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#134 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 06:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sftbllwdw
Do not keep things in the pouch on the front of your underwear, it is not a pocket.

The actual use was explained as best as I could to my 3 yr old son and he just laughed at the idea and took off to find something else to put there.
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#135 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanbaby
- And no picking anyone else's boo boo's.
eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww
: : :
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#136 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 07:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NatureMamaOR
leave the wheels ON the cars
thank god, i thought that was just my son :LOL
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#137 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 07:16 PM
 
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I am literally crying with mirth, here! I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard!
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#138 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 07:28 PM
 
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please don't ask your cousin to take his clothes off. it disturbs me.

when i lock the front door so you can't get outside, it does NOT mean it's ok to go out the front window instead.

rearranging the furniture is MY job, not yours.

your sister is not a dog, quit putting the leash around her neck.

don't sit on the couch naked and play with your penis...if you must play with it, go do it in your room.

your sister does not want to put her finger in your butt (whether she knows it or not)...quit trying to get her too.

don't turn your head to talk to me while you're peeing, because the rest of your body turns with your head...and i'm the one that has to clean up the mess.

don't talk to strangers. if you must say something, just say hello. don't tell them you whole name...my whole name...where we live...where daddy works...where we're going...what we did yesterday...etc.

you are a 65 lb. four year old. that may not mean much to you, but to me it means no more jumping on mommy. it could crack my ribs.

the fact that your legs are too short is NOT the only reason you can't drive daddy's truck.

and this new one from last night: it's your job to tell me when you're full. i didn't know you ate at your grandmother's house, because you asked for dinner when you got home. it's not my fault you ate too much and threw up, it's yours.
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#139 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 09:07 PM
 
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This one isn't mine but borrowed from a friend:

"You may not pee in your Auntie's purse even if it IS open on the floor"
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#140 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 09:58 PM
 
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dont give mommy a big juicy kiss after u just ate a booger
dont lick the window on teh bus
dont LICK the cat if the cat licks u. its ok to kiss it.
snot rules of course. and clothes rules.
when 'when u r older' does not work as she comes back 5 mins later saying she is older, i now say you can do it when u get ur drivers license.

this thread has me in tears.

 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
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#141 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 10:39 PM
 
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more from dinner:

no, you can't sit in the highchair naked, crumbs will stick to your butt

you're not allowed to negotiate food trades with your sister when she doesn't understand what she's agreeing to


:LOL
Amanda
ds cole 2/26/01
dd grace 10/3/03
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#142 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 10:43 PM
 
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"Pet the kitty gently, with soft, *open* hands!"

I started telling DD that several months ago (she's 11 m/o now). For some reason it cracks DH and DS (almost 16 years old) up to no end.

I can't remember any from when DS was small, but I know there had to be some real doozies.
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#143 of 235 Old 10-04-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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My just turned two yr old is potty training herself. From just this week...

"Only your fingers are allowed to explore your vulva."

"Please do not attempt to put a pen in your vagina"

And "Screaming "I pee and poop in the potty now!" is wonderful...doing it in the middle of the sermon at Mass is Not Appropriate!"
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#144 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 12:30 AM
 
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oh i had to share some of ours..this thread is too funny!

-Don't jump into daddys lap knees first when he is napping on the sofa. it hurts him.
-your brothers penis isn't a pull toy. leave it alone.
-don't blow in the babies faces to see them jump
-if you poop in the cat box please leave it there. do not carry it to the toilet and flush it.
-when mama is in the shower,don't flush the toilet to hear her scream
-don't pull on the babys head when he's nursing and yell "it's my turn!"
-pulling down daddys pants to show strangeers he doesn't wear underwear is not allowed.
-mamas "toys" are not to used in the front garden as decorations.i don't care that it's shiny like the reflecting ball.

there are others but i am out of steam right now..i'm sure they will come to me!
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#145 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 12:55 AM
 
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These are so funny! :LOL

Wait until you get to the bathroom to pull down your pants and underpants... DD has been known to pull everything down then run to the other end of the house to use the bathroom... usually she trips over her clothing and falls. She does this even when we have company.

No peeing in the yard. Especially in front of strangers.

You should wear at least underpants to dinner. If they get stains on them from dropped food, I will take care of it.

Ladies don't lift their dresses to play peek a boo with the baby and with strangers.

I know that there are more! :LOL
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#146 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 01:07 AM
 
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1. No wallpapering the bathroom with kotex.
2. If its a school day you have to wear underwear.
3. No tying ropes to the furniture and then jumping off it.
4. NO DOODLEBOPS. EVER.
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#147 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 01:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by passionfaerie
1. No wallpapering the bathroom with kotex.
2. If its a school day you have to wear underwear.
3. No tying ropes to the furniture and then jumping off it.
4. NO DOODLEBOPS. EVER.
I must know... What is a doodlebop?
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#148 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 01:43 AM
 
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oh i know this one! it is this horrid childrens show on disney channel or nick jr...it is the most irritating thing in the world! my neice watched it once at my house for 10 minutes..i hated it so much i unhooked the wires when she wasn't looking, oops,the tv isn't working right now!...lol..i'm soo mean,but it really is an awful show!
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#149 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 10:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by APMom98
And "Screaming "I pee and poop in the potty now!" is wonderful...doing it in the middle of the sermon at Mass is Not Appropriate!"
Be thankful that it's not during the Consecration .

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#150 of 235 Old 10-05-2005, 10:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppermint
Be thankful that it's not during the Consecration .
!
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