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#211 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 01:15 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apryl Srissa
I second the TP one, my oldest used to put tons in there lol. My toddler just wants to unroll it, all over the place.

We made a new rule this week. For the 22 month old. No matter how much you love the baby, when he is in his bouncy seat, no laying on top of his to hug / kiss him. Same goes if he is in the swing, no swinging with him.
:LOL
We are in the middle of this issue with my 2yo dd. She likes to a) unroll it all, b) put it ALL in the toilet, c) run around the house dragging it behind her, d) dry her hands on it, e) poop on the rug and clean it up with toilet paper (I swear she waits until I take her diaper off for the bath and immediately runs into the bedroom to poop. I like letting her be naked, but it's getting to be a constant routine!). The other day I was in the bedroom and heard her saying "no! no!" and came into the bathroom to see her unrolling the tp. Somehow I don't think the intended message is getting through...
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#212 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 02:52 AM
 
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No eating food out of the trash can
No need to wipe your butt until it bleeds
No pulling mom's public hair while in the shower (has lead to mommy showering ALONE!)
No feeding the baby dirt

H

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

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#213 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 04:22 AM
 
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How about 'your fingers do NOT go in MOMMY'S mouth!!' (my 12 mo old has an obsession lately with sticking his fingers in my mouth, dont ask me why but it's a favorite before-bed while snuggling game and it drives me CRAZY!)

fortunatley I have found if I shut my mouth real tight he tries again but then he will just look, smile and give up.....

I don't really know WHY that drives me insane it just does.

I liked 'paper is not a good snack' I would like to add that neither are the plastic wires that hold the toy in the box, or a piece of styrofoam cup (we were at a hotel)......neither is MOMMY'S CELL PHONE ANTENNA!


I really hope I never have to tell my son that pooping in the tub is not funny or that his butt does not need a pacifier..........

And I have a new one inspired by the neighbor kids--NO DUMPSTER DIVING!! (I live in a little 9 apartment building across from an elementary school so a couple kids that age live here and today they were playing in the newspaper recycle dumpster.....I came in and told DH I have a new aspiration in life--to be an attentive enough parent to know and go out and STOP MY KID if he is DUMPSTER DIVING....eww....LOL)

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#214 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 11:33 AM
 
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No, you may not toilet-paper the cat!

Please don't try to help the dogs poop. It will come out on it's own.

Please don't suck on the sidewalk chalk. (Just the thought makes me squirm)

Once something goes in the garbage, it should stay there.


I LOVE this thread
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#215 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 07:34 PM
 
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No death scenes during dinner.

Our DD is very dramatic. Always has been. She and her father create all these "Backyard Thespians Productions" (little plays, skits, songs, dances, etc).

She went through a phase where she pretended to faint (dramatically! - hand to the forehead, eyes rolling up, "Ooooh!") during dinner. It progressed to death scenes. Long, overly dramatic, really funny death scenes, complete with willing her earthly posessions to her father and I.

Yes, they were hilarious. The first several times. And then they moved more towards disruptive interruptions to a family dinner.

Gee, now I miss them, ha ha. DD is nine now. She still does "Backyard Thespians Productions". Sometimes they grow to include neighbor kids, ha ha. And yes, we're letting her explore dance, music and acting just as much as we can.

Ann-Marita. I deleted my usual signature due to, oh, wait, if I say why, that might give too much away. 

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#216 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 08:27 PM
 
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We've only got two really odd ones:

- Don't lick the floor
- Feet don't belong in the castle

And while she may exhibit odd behavior, we don't usually have a problem with it. However when we add a son to the mix - I'm sure it'll get interesting!
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#217 of 235 Old 10-15-2005, 08:49 PM
 
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don't put stickers on the dog. he doesn't like it.

don't put your finger in the dog's butt. he doesn't like it.

don't try to wag the dog's tail for him. he can do it himself.

don't draw on the wall with your wooden doll (horrible noise!!)

don't lick the fish tank

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#218 of 235 Old 10-16-2005, 02:06 AM
 
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This is the greatest! Here are ours (some repeats I noticed, glad to see I'm in good company)
-You can only touch your own penis!
-Only "drink" your brother's "baba" (breastmilk) if he OKs it
-No pooping in the yard, EVER!
-No pooping on the front porch or the back porch
-No laughing when someone poops in the yard (or does another known illegal act)
-Do not ask your brother to bite you and then tattle on them
-Only talk about poop if whomever your talking to says they don't mind
-You have to talk or scream or yell everytime we are outside
-Please do not go outside naked to greet company (my 5yr old actually GOT nakie, wasn't already undressed, when my grandma came over and ran out to the street and greeted her!)
-Don't "wag" your naked butt at me, it's rude!
-When at other people's houses shut the door when you go potty, and wait until you get to the bathroom to undress
-Don't ask your brother to bite you and then tattle on him (it's mean)
-Sit down in shopping cart, and buckle seatbelts or we won't go anywhere (I really enforce that one)
-Wash hands every time we come home, and EVERY time you go poop
-mommy is the only one in the house allowed to do the wiping
-No putting mommy's nipple in your ear during naptime babas (it's ok during any other time were he's not supposed to sleep) (It's really a strange thing I think, anyone else's kid had a weird nursing quirck like this?)

wow that's alot of rules! didn't realize we had so many, I'm sure there is more too. Maybe I should eaze off on some.....nah!
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#219 of 235 Old 10-16-2005, 10:41 AM
 
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No nursing while mommy is pooping. That boy has no couth.
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#220 of 235 Old 10-16-2005, 10:03 PM
 
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Do not climb on the church balcony railing and say "MOM! LOOK AT ME"!!!

Do not crawl into mom's bed in the middle of the night if you are NAKED!

You may not dance and sing on the coffee table with only a shirt when we have company!!!


FYI: THESE ARE FROM MY NINE YEAR OLD!!!
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#221 of 235 Old 10-16-2005, 10:20 PM
 
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You many only bite your own fingernails (my 5 y/o likes to chew on mine - completely freaks me out).

You may only talk about pooping in the bathroom.

You may only touch your penis in your room or the bathroom.

No, no one at church wants to see where you had your operation (hypospadias repair). Please do not show them your penis.

You may only eat your own boogers.

Don't lick anyone else's feet.

If the baby cannot climb or get somewhere, do not help her. She is too small to be on the kitchen table.

Cereal must be eaten from a bowl, not the box.

Your nose, ears, eyes and bottom are OUT holes. Do not put anything IN!

Dang, I'm so restrictive!

Tamara: hs'ing Christian mom of five here and five in Heaven. Joyfully awaiting Punkin, coming mid-Sept!
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#222 of 235 Old 10-16-2005, 10:22 PM
 
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OH, I FORGOT THIS ONE:

If you MUST bite your toenails, PLEASE DO SO IN PRIVATE!!!! I don't want to know!
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#223 of 235 Old 10-16-2005, 10:50 PM
 
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No stuffing broccoli behind the piano!
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#224 of 235 Old 10-17-2005, 02:49 AM
 
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Two more just from tonight

No you may NOT have a KNIFE from the dishwasher!!

and

NO you may not have a SHOWER by climbing in the dishwasher with the dishes!!

(I had some major dishwashing to do today, ran it twice, and discovered DS is OBSESSED with taking the KNIVES (of course the BIGGEST SHARPEST ONE) out of the silverware thing. When he figured out that was NOT going to be allowed, he attempted to climb INTO the dishwasher LMAO!)

oh and another newly-enforced rule
If you are going to bite Mommy, you may not continue to sit with Mommy. (I think he's teething, either that or it's the joy of having 2 teeth on top and 2 on the bottom...he is OBSESSED with BITING lately. Arms, thighs, whatever he can get.) Maybe it's a little mean, but I refuse to spank him or anything like that, and I've been saying 'NO' and "NO biting, that hurts!' for a good couple weeks, so now just tonight I decided that if he's going to bite while sitting on my lap, I'm going to put him down. Hopefully, EVENTUALLY he will get the idea.

Oh and one more--ONLY water in your juice bottle if you are not in your highchair!
(DS hates sippy cups. Regular open cups make a gigant-o mess. I have just discovered what works really well--those little plastic Gerber juice bottles. I get WIC, they give us a dozen a month. He loves drinking straight out of them and the opening is small enough he can do it without a mess. I'm pretty stingy with the juice, but I have cups with lids so I can dump the juice in one of those in the fridge and ration it out. The rest of the time, he can have the little bottle with water. Fortunately, he likes ice water. The only-water-unless-you're-at-the-table rule got invented tonight after he took a drink from the bottle and then proceeded to accidentally pour it all over the light couch!) He IS only 12 months old, he flipped his arm back not realizing that would make him dump the water he was holding all over the couch!

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#225 of 235 Old 10-17-2005, 12:04 PM
 
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you may *not* stick your fingers up my nose
poop is not for painting :
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#226 of 235 Old 10-17-2005, 09:26 PM
 
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I have loved this thread, and finally have one of my own that I said tonight:

"You know how to use your fork, please don't lick the corn off of your plate." (picture DS hunched way over, practically face down on his plate, tongue poised to take a big lick :LOL )

OK, not as good as a lot of others on the thread, but as soon as it was out of my mouth I thought to myself...now there's something I never thought I'd hear myself say!

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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#227 of 235 Old 10-17-2005, 09:31 PM
 
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Underarm farts are only allowed outside!!

 
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#228 of 235 Old 10-17-2005, 11:34 PM
 
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Our newest rule today, to 22 month old who napped through lunch

no matter how hungry you are, we don't like our bowls while we wait for more lunch (mac-ee-oni, his favorite )

This topic is just so funny, I'm enjoying all these rules and feeling SO much more normal now!
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#229 of 235 Old 10-27-2005, 08:29 AM
 
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And just in the last day or two...
"yes baby, I KNOW attempting to feed yourself with a spoon is a fun new skill and you want to practice, but PLEASE do NOT attempt it with a dirty spoon you just dug out of the dishwasher thing while Mama's trying to load it!"

(phrased to 12 mo old DS more like "No, no, YUCK!!" followed by taking the pilfered spoon)

And "I KNOW you are getting your lateral incisors (the teeth next to the two middle ones on top) but if you need to bite something....PLEASE FIND A TOY!!" (rather than random body parts of the nearest person...)

(phrased to child more like "No! Biting hurts Mama. Bite this" while handing child an approved bite-able object)

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#230 of 235 Old 10-27-2005, 09:20 AM
 
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You may not hold your dirty diaper.

(This rule isn't really working. Yesterday she grabbed hold of the dirty diaper and dragged it, poop side down, all along her leg and belly. And then peed. It was the kind of thing where there was no hope but to pick her up under the armpits, hold her at arms' length, and march right up to the bathtub for a bath. All the wipes in the WORLD wouldn't have helped.)

When her gastric reflux was at its height, to the point that she had stopped gaining weight, we had the rule "Milk stays in the baby." She didn't follow that one either.

Alexandra 4.11.05 and Colin 2.9.09. Click on my name to visit my homeschooling blog.
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#231 of 235 Old 10-27-2005, 10:00 AM
 
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very funny - especially the one about the dog !
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#232 of 235 Old 10-31-2005, 04:33 AM
 
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I'm one week past my due date for my first child (a boy) and all I can say is that it looks like I'd better get ready for lots of penis rules!
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#233 of 235 Old 10-31-2005, 07:01 AM
 
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First of all, I have to share one that's not mine. My little cousin was LEAPING through the air from the coffee table and landing loudly on the floor. (They have neighbors below.) His father yells, NO JUMPING!!! We thought that was reasonable, but then he continued......ONTO THE FLOOR, use the couch! He's a extreme yeller. We were like, huh? Guess you had to be there....

*to the boys...If you don't hear water, then it isn't going IN the water! Pee before you sit. (They are trying to pee while pooping.)
*All stickers are not for peeling!
*Do not attach yourself to my butt, with my shirt over your head. I may fall over you and my threads are popping!
*Please don't hold onto my bra. Try my arm. (18mo on hip)


I'm having fun reading these! Thanks to all!
Lori
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#234 of 235 Old 10-31-2005, 10:52 AM
 
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"please stop licking the fishtank."

AND

"you may only eat your OWN boogers."

halloween and colds... argh!

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#235 of 235 Old 10-31-2005, 12:04 PM
 
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"no, your peepee doesn't want to eat a piece of your pancake."
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