Supernanny Sucks - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 07:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For liability purposes I am speaking of the show, not jolly old "Jo Jo".

She has now graduated from the naughty step to the naughty freaking corner.

While I personally consider timeout to be an effective tool in my discipline tool box, I do not believ in humiliating a child by forcing them to face a wall.

She is very, very naughty.

Annette

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#2 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 07:15 PM
 
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The bedtime stuff was horrible, too. The mom saying that they should give every new parent a manual getting your kids to sleep that way broke my heart.

I did like how Jo advocated for the older brother.

The corner time out was so shaming. You're right, so much worse than the stair step. Sad.
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#3 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do agree that Scary Poppins was right on the money with that little boy.

Otherwise.... <<shudder>>

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#4 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 07:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
Scary Poppins
Bwahahahaha! :LOL
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#5 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 07:23 PM
 
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Last night's episode broke my heart too when the four year old was crying/begging her Mommy to "lay with me" in bed. I don't know why I still watch this show It's like a train wreck.
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#6 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 10:42 PM
 
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Reading stuff like this makes me so glad I don't have a tv to subject myself to.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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#7 of 212 Old 02-08-2005, 10:47 PM
 
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My mom came to visit this past weekend to help out while
ds was in for day surgery. She keep saying that Super Nanny
was great and that the only parents who wouldn't want to hear
her or see her were ones who her advice would
"hit to close to home". Ah yes, my mom's way of saying
our co-sleeping ways are ridicolous. THANK GOD we don't
have a tv. While in a book store where Super Nanny was
omniously looking down from the shelves, I turned the
cover around on all her books......tee. .....hhee.
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#8 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 10:06 AM
 
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My 20 month old was crying because she wanted to run and I wouldn't let her run at that moment in time. I was sitting down and holding her and some lady walking by said "Someone needs Supper Nanny". I couldn't believe that anyone would say that not knowing the situation. Now some people think that children crying no matter what age needs Supper Nanny. I would hate to see what that woman thought when we all left playtime and almost all the kids were walking out of the building crying because they still wanted to play.
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#9 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 10:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mackinsiesmom
My 20 month old was crying because she wanted to run and I wouldn't let her run at that moment in time. I was sitting down and holding her and some lady walking by said "Someone needs Supper Nanny".
Did you trip her?

*ahem* Sorry...gut reaction
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#10 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 11:09 AM
 
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I haven't seen this show, but she sounds awful! "Scary Poppins," very funny!

The stranger saying "Someone needs Super Nanny" - what an idiot! Great, just as shows like "Extememe Makeover" have made the general public think that everyone needs surgery to fix themselves, now they will also think every child who isn't perfect needs Super Nanny...

I worry that those shows, even Nanny 911, which is much gentler than what this Super Nanny show sounds like, will just reinforce the idea that parents are all incompetent morons who have no idea how to deal with their spoiled brat kids. It makes everyone look bad.
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#11 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 11:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually that would have been a great comeback- look the mean lady up and down really slow and say "Looks like someone needs an EXTREME MAKEOVER"

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#12 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 11:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
Actually that would have been a great comeback- look the mean lady up and down really slow and say "Looks like someone needs an EXTREME MAKEOVER"
:
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#13 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 12:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
Actually that would have been a great comeback- look the mean lady up and down really slow and say "Looks like someone needs an EXTREME MAKEOVER"
:
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#14 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 12:14 PM
 
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I've only watched one of those episodes. Sickens me about to the extent of Wife Swap or The Swan. It's not so much that I disapprove of her methods (although I haven't seen the standing in the corner). I more so despise the show and nannies thinking that they can completely understand a family by hovering over them for a day. And then thinking they can miraculously cure everything in like 2 days. yay right! Don't the parents ever wonder why the nannies themselves have no children if they claim to be so wonderful at child-rearing?

Mama of 3 amazingly sweet kids jumpers.gif, living the dream on our urban farm chicken3.gif

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#15 of 212 Old 02-09-2005, 03:15 PM
 
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Sounds like she is the same one that we have here in the UK.

I never liked to watch that show, and I've read interviews with participants that said it was all heavily edited to make Jo Jo appear more helpful than she actually was (i.e. portrayed the family as more dysfuctional than they were before her interference through clever cutting and editing of footage - say, the toddler has two tantrums a day, they would be cut together to make it appear that that was all he did all day) etc. Even if some of her methods actually work, I always ask myself at what cost to the child (like time outs in a corner). The methods might 'train' the children to be compliant but at what cost, and for how long?
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#16 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 04:07 AM
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we have decided to hate supernanny. Sure some of the parenting techniques are good ideas etc but what really bugs the pee out of us is:

Every single family we have seen there so far is unrealistic to our point of view. Not only are their houses are too clean, they have houses with yards and with enough rooms for a master suite, each kid to have a room (or twins sharing) AND a spare/guest room! Its pretty obvious that the family has some resources or they wouldn't even have a house, let alone a yard for the kids to play in - especially tonight's family.

How is a family on low income living in a cramped appartment supposed to deal with this? Especially one where, if they are lucky, they have a second bedroom. Renting in our area is ridiculous and 2 bedrooms are now going for more than what we are currently paying.

ps.. Gotta love the dad telling jojo off tonight. I loved that.
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#17 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 04:47 AM
 
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I honestly can't believe I'm reading all these negative responses to this great show. She doesn't advocate spanking, talking rudely or belittling or anything. She simply shows how disresptful behavior is not tolerated toward a parent and therefore shows by example of how to teach your child (those that are out of control mind you) of where there place is in the household and how to behave like a mindful child should. She nips bad behavior in the bud in an age appropriate fashion. Those of you who haven't seen this, should watch one episode before you start labeling her "Scary" ... getting down to their level and speaking in a serious tone (not yelling or losing your cool) is GREAT advise and having them sit out and take a break for the amount of minutes their age is, is not asking that much. And, it appears to work week after week.

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#18 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 05:09 AM
 
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Bradley...

Well, I can understand why many don't like supernanny...sure she has some great ideas and techniques but the naughty room/step/corner thing is REALLY shaming, imo, and i don't like how, albeit ever so slightly, supernanny elicits a powerstruggle b/n parent and CHILD....

jmo
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#19 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 06:58 AM
 
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I seriously can't watch the show, it upsets me too much. Having a child face the wall, how awfully humiliating

Did anyone read this article Science Shows Up Super Nanny
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#20 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 09:28 AM
 
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So this woman has never been a mother and is telling others how to parent? Somehow i don't think I need a weekly dose of Nazi nanny
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#21 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 09:37 AM
 
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Some of her techniques I agree with. I think timeout is ok and it works for my kids. Yelling like a maniac doesn't work for us, just kidding. Anyway, the sleep stuff was horrible. It works I know but it is so sad. Everyone made fun of my kids because they were so attached, but now they are older and so much more independent and unafraid. My youngest was very attached but he is the only kid the first day of school who isn't crying or clinging. He knows I will be home when he gets home and if I say I will pick him up I will. He trusts me. That is what we are talking about, trust.
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#22 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 10:22 AM
 
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I have endless problems with these shows…

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#23 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 10:43 AM
 
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I watched last night's episode and I really don't know why. The entire concept of the show really bothers me. The whole idea just furthers this "us-vs-them" attitude of parenting. She just has some new ways of manipulating both parents and kids into tiny little boxes of acceptable behavior.

On last night's episode, I just for the life of me could not understand why that little girl had to give up the bed in the hallway. I mean, I'm not sure I'm down with the reason the parents first set that bed up for her, but at this point, what damage was the second bed doing? Why, in the midst of so many strangers in her house and changes going on in her parents' behavior, did she have to give up something that so obviously provided her with comfort? That whole thing was really what this show is about for me----random, arbitrary rules for the sake of having rules. Saying no loud and often so that children will know they have no free will.

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#24 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 10:46 AM
 
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See, I think time-outs work in the same way that the sleep stuff works. It's a short term fix that has potential negative consequences farther down the line.

The children in last night's show were acting their worst out of frustration. The mom gave the 2 yr. old wood blocks and he started to throw them into the hallway. She told him, "No! Don't throw the blocks, Billy." so he threw the plastic container. Then she wrenched the blocks out of his hands and he freaked. DUH. Then she put him a time-out.

If throwing the blocks were a problem, why couldn't you give the kid something soft to throw and make that a fun game to play together? "Billy, we can't throw the hard blocks--someone could get an owie! Buuuuuut, [dramatic flourish] we can throw THEEEEESE! TA-DA!" and produce something soft and harmless. Or at a minimum, give the kid a chance to hand over the blocks himself, or remove them gently.

And seriously, the kid DID stop throwing the blocks. He threw an empty plastic container. I didn't see the problem with that. But, I think it was more about the power struggle at that point.

The daughter was punished because she was upset the little brother picked up a toy that she had brought down to play with. She wasn't using it at the time, so the mother just told her basically, "Too bad." Why couldn't they have at least listened to the girls' reasoning? I understand that feeling of wanting to use something first that you've gotten out. I just don't get why they couldn't have talked that situation out. The girl got frustrated and threw down the keyboard she was playing with and the mom accused her of throwing it AT the brother and put her in the naughty room. I didn't think she was aiming at the brother at all--she could've totally clocked him if she'd wanted to.

I just watched all the self-soothing behavior the girl exhibited while in time-out (thumb sucking, hair twirling) and thought it was pretty profound. When she came out of that room she was desperate to re-connect with the mother. I think that's the violation of trust that damages attachment.

And basically setting up a jail cell in my house that can ONLY be used for punishment is something I would run screaming from.
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#25 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 11:29 AM
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I don't like the jailhouse room concept. We've tried it here but got complaints from our neighbours that our son screamed too much in them.

see.... all this only works if you don't have nosey neighbours above and beside you. It only works if you have the spare rooms (we don't). I'd be too afraid that our son would throw things around in that room and destroy it (he has even when he wasn't in a time out and just playing).

But because we have nosey neighbours, we can't let him scream or throw tantrums. We got an eviction threat because of his screams and because we weren't being evicted, they called the cops on us two days ago and CPS showed up. Like WTF? we were bloody well doing a spring purge because DD is now mobile ala Hammish Mcphearson and the social worker called my housekeeping a pig sty etc etc etc. Yet that arse upstairs is allowed to snore so loud my baby can't sleep in bed even beside me? I swear they hate children up there.

Anyway, we have been trying the time out corner. No, we don't force DS to stand facing the wall, but we do require him to stay in that corner till the timer goes off. And, of course, he screams those ear piercing i-am-an-abused-kid-getting-the-hell-beaten-out-of-me type screams during his entire time out. Once the timer goes off he is suddenly oh so happy but that doesn't correct his behaviour. And yes, we are getting down to his level and all that.

But once again, my point is that the families Jojo is supposedly helping all have the room to spare. I'd like to see her deal with a family living in cramped living conditions where mom and dad can barely move in their tiny bedroom because the dresser is inches from the bed, and two or more children have to share one room and there is no yard for them to play in.

And yes, the social worker told us we have to get a bigger place. Again. :
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#26 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 11:41 AM
 
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Don't worry, Mamid...There’s hope for you yet. With all the editing they can still make it look like all your problems have been solved and then some.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#27 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 11:50 AM
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One thing I noticed about Jojo is that she's doing the same pop psyche that Dr Pill is doing. Tears the adults down in two sentences then tells them "this is how you fix it or else." And if the parents relapse, oh they are such naughty parents and she goes and rescues them. :

It takes time to change old habits. It simply can not be done in a day or even a week. We've been working at it for two years and we still fall back into the ways our parents raised us.

But again, I have yet to see Jojo deal with a family in a cramped condition - 2 bedroom appartment and family of 4. If she can take a child like the 4yo boy from last week and calm him down in that cramped quarters, then I'll take her more seriously.

As it is right now, watching it is like watching Fear Factor or a train wreck - Horrible yet fascinating.

As for the "emergency social worker" .... We're contemplating calling up the man who was our social worker and bitching at him for letting us fall through the cracks. Who knows.. maybe we can get a letter from them to speed us into a low income housing place?

And thanks IDCMama. Watching Supernanny also makes us realize that our child is "normal" because if higher income families can have children like our son, then ours is normal even with his "developmental delays" and hearing loss.
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#28 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 12:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamid
And thanks IDCMama.
Just wanted to be 100% clear ~ I was making a crack at this show and how they can make anything look however they want, yk?

The end point being that it’s all a bunch of crap :LOL

Sorry to hear that things aren’t going well for you. Winter is hard enough but being in a cramped apartment must make it even more challenging. May spring come your way soon.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#29 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 12:15 PM
 
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So many comments, so little time. What was up with JoJo expecting a 2 year old to get through a game of CandyLand? And why was he punished for not having the attention span to deal with it?
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#30 of 212 Old 02-22-2005, 12:24 PM
 
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I also thought the expectation of a two year old playing Candy Land wasn't developmentally appropriate.

I think she has some useful tools quite frankly, such as getting on the child's level and changing tone of voice to get attention, and I think there is something to be said for routine. I also like the fact that she's been very direct with overworked parents in telling them they need to cut down their schedules to spend more time with the kids, and she explains to children why it is not ok to throw or hit, etc. I'm not too keen on the "naughty" concept as I was a very sensitive child and would have been mortified to be sent to Naughty Land.

Some behavior os blown way out of proportion though. I also didn't know what the big deal was about the little girl having the extra bed.

I could sit here and pretend to bash Super Nanny, but I find peeks into the lives of other parents fascinating. I'll be watching again next Monday night.
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