When you redirect... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 02-09-2005, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all

Just curious about how you redirect when baby is doing something you don't want them to do. Alex is a year old next week (wah-ah!!) and when he's pulling at my glasses or trying to pull the blinds down off the window, for example, sometimes I'll say "Don't pull on my glasses" or whatever, or "Mommy's glasses stay here so she can see", or maybe "You mustn't do that" and then get him interested in doing something else and say "Let's do blah instead". Is this what I should be doing? I also wonder how much he can understand and if using too many words just confuses the issue - saying "Stop that" and then redirecting would be, well, more direct and wouldn't he have a better chance of understanding? But it sounds mean! Also, of my three examples above of what I say to him, which is best (I'm thinking "Mommy's glasses..." but surely he doesn't understand?) and why?

Sorry if this sounds stupid and really basic. Don't know what I'm doing!

Cheers

Charmaine
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#2 of 9 Old 02-09-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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right now he doesn't understand, but he will very soon so it's good to start with the words now. try to keep it simple, and also try to keep the "command" nature out of it so you don't provoke power struggles when they get older. so instead of "don't do that" you can say "glasses aren't for pulling" or "we don't pull glasses". then yes, I'll say "let's do this" or "hey, look at that" or I might put him down or take my glasses out of the way. basically you have the right idea, IMO.

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#3 of 9 Old 02-09-2005, 10:20 PM
 
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I realized with my first child, at about a year, that I was really making things messy with too many words and started using one or two word statements instead. a more direct approach. Now I usually say no or stop. both of those would freeze her until I can redirect her. She gets the messege and we save chit chat about the important stuff (like hey wanns do this or this or this . . . )

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#4 of 9 Old 02-10-2005, 02:01 PM
 
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Like the others, I try to keep to as few words as possible, but keep the command specific to the situation. For example, DS is ridiculously fascinated with standing up in the tub. Each time he does it, I say, "On your bum", help him sit down, and then redirect with a tub toy. I'm trying to stay away from "no" so that it has some impact on him when I need to use it for the big stuff, however, I will sign (and say) "touch - no" when that is appropriate (eg, banging on the tv).

I really don't know if this is working since he's only 10 mos old, so take my "advice" with a grain of salt!!

C
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#5 of 9 Old 02-10-2005, 02:25 PM
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I use words like no, stop, careful, not for you, ka-ka, ...I am not too worried about being mean, they need some firmness you can't be nice all the time especially when danger lurks. I hate saying no so try to catch myself........so I try other words more................
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#6 of 9 Old 02-10-2005, 04:12 PM
 
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This is somewhat random but I remember reading that babies don't understand pronouns. So I usually tell my dd "not for Jadyn". I can't offer much more than that since my dd is only 6 months old and redirecting now is more for my practice than her understanding.
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#7 of 9 Old 02-10-2005, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the replies. Keep it simple is the key, I guess! I try to stay away from 'no', but sometimes I feel like I'm being too commanding, even without 'no'. Usually when I'm tired and frustrated, I think, so I guess I need to get more sleep! Oh and I totally know about the baby standing in bath thing - what is up with that? Why is it so much fun?! Aw but he's so cute. Thank god! Sometimes I just wished I knew what was going on in that little head of his. I really don't get the feeling he understands anything I say. I know he's only (not even) one, but other babies (OH! I can't believe I'm doing this! no no no!) seem to just 'get' more. Actually, that's not true - I'm pretty sure he understands 'kitty cat'. And there's probably more - maybe I'm just not very good at reading him and need to pay more attention. I remember reading about the pronouns too - but I think I also remembered it suggested at some point (I think it was somewhere between 8 and 12 months) to use both - so "this is Alex's cup, your cup" to help them understand. Not sure though.

Anyhow, thanks again. I'll stop rambling now!

Charmaine
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#8 of 9 Old 02-10-2005, 06:39 PM
 
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intresting about pronouns. I have just always done that for some reason "not for Ava" or "not for Baby" instead of "not for you"

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#9 of 9 Old 02-12-2005, 04:02 PM
 
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I say Not for Allie, Not for babies. If she is about to touch something dangerous i say DANGER! Not for allie and i take her to something that she CAN play with. While cooking with her in the sling, i will say Hot! Danger! And now she shakes her hand and says Ha ha for hot. Using small words like this is alot easier for them to understand. My baby is 10 months old but this has been effective since she starting crawling at 6 months. She would be crawling over to an outlet, and although they are covered..i say Stop! Not for allie. And she does stop.

Most of all substituting for something they CAN have is really effective.
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