Sundresses in winter, please help! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i have been having the hardest time with my dd lately becaues she insists on wearing nothing but sundresses. I've decided to try to let it go as much as possible, it's her body, etc. We go to the park with extra clothes and dd concedes to wear them eventually, for the most part.

The thing is, it's just not OK for school. I work mornings and I need to take her to prechool. I'm just not comfortable dropping her off in a sundress with a bag of extra clothes. They play outside every day.

I'm so sick of the tantrums in the morning, and after reading that tantrum article I feel kinda bad about pushing this issue, but I don't know what to do.

DD is a pretty well behaved kid, but SUPER determined. It makes her trult upset to even have to add leggings to her "outfit".

i just want to cry for hr. I don't know how to help her see that we don't live in Hawaii (we live in seattle) and it's just not OK to wear a halter top in February. (Though I did let her out of the house in one this morning- luckily she spilled some hot cocoa on it.)

Anyway- anyone got ideas? I did this on another section and got some good ideas, but I'm all worked up about it again 'cause it's not going away.

(I suppose if worse come to worst summer is comming eventually.)
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#2 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:14 PM
 
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[QUOTE=mommyofshmoo]i I'm just not comfortable dropping her off in a sundress with a bag of extra clothes.

Can you talk a little about what makes you uncomfortable? Are you worried she'll be cold? That the other kids will think she's odd? That the teachers will be mean? That the teachers will think you're a bad parent?

(Those are the ones that occur to me )

Have you read the Out of Sync Child? What does her school think? Has she had an OT evaluation?
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#3 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:17 PM
 
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I just put all weather inappropriate clothing in a box in the attic so when she chooses something from her drawer it is Ok even if it doesn't match.
Or we have been known to put a turtleneck under anything-a sundress, tank top and even a bathing suit top once. And we do manage to get leggings or tights under dresses.
They can be so opinionated, can't they.
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#4 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=chfriend]
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo
i I'm just not comfortable dropping her off in a sundress with a bag of extra clothes.

Can you talk a little about what makes you uncomfortable? Are you worried she'll be cold? That the other kids will think she's odd? That the teachers will be mean? That the teachers will think you're a bad parent?

(Those are the ones that occur to me )

Have you read the Out of Sync Child? What does her school think? Has she had an OT evaluation?
What is OT?

I haven't spoken to her teachers. Her main teacher is pretty strict seeming and I guess I'm scared that she thinkhs I'm a bad mom.

Plus I think it sets a bad example for the other kids in class. However, maddy is by pretty far the youngest kid there, so the older kids probabl wouldn't want to "copy" her- they think of her as the baby.

Yeah, i worry people will think I'm a bad parent, especially her teachers.

I should see about getting that book. My dd is so proud when she understands and abides in her world, but she sometimes just kinda "howls at the moon" and feels the need to be oppositional to the way the universe is.

I want to help her not get so upset, but as her old daycare provider once said, "She always needs something to push against."
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#5 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyoftwo
I just put all weather inappropriate clothing in a box in the attic so when she chooses something from her drawer it is Ok even if it doesn't match.
Or we have been known to put a turtleneck under anything-a sundress, tank top and even a bathing suit top once. And we do manage to get leggings or tights under dresses.
They can be so opinionated, can't they.

Unfortunately, dd would remmeber the dresses if I put them away- and the tantrums would continue (at least for a while- but she's pretty persistent.) She waked up knowing what she wants to wear and has a very clear picture of the dress in her mind.

Shirts can NEVER be worn under. It's unthinkable.

I want to cry- and this is sucha stupid thing to cry over!
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#6 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:36 PM
 
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I truly believe that if you stop making a big deal about it so will she. If have found this be true in so many things. When the power struggle stops so does the behavior.

I would recommend that you just stop the struggle, let her wear what she wants and keep doing what you were doing: sending additional clothes to school. If her teachers are anything like my sons they have seen this a 100 times before. Once your daughter realizes that the power struggle is over it will be over. Sure she might continue wearing sundresses for a while but eventually the phase will end or it will soon be warm and just won't matter any more. My son once wore the same shirt everyday for 3 weeks. His teachers just laughed when I apologized and told me to be thankful it wasn't his Halloween costume. I guess they had one girl who wore her spaghetti strap, sparkly, ballerina tutu for 2 months. She never cared how cold out it was and just danced all day.

I am also like mommyoftwo. I pack away clothes at the end of season. My son gets to keep a few "favorites" and then the rest gets packed away. He can choose what ever he wants from his drawers/closet each day. I let him wear whatever he wants, school or otherwise, even if it doesn't match.

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#7 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:36 PM
 
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If she won't wear a shirt under the sundress, would she wear it with a cardigan?

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#8 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyoftwo
I just put all weather inappropriate clothing in a box in the attic so when she chooses something from her drawer it is Ok even if it doesn't match.
Or we have been known to put a turtleneck under anything-a sundress, tank top and even a bathing suit top once. And we do manage to get leggings or tights under dresses.
They can be so opinionated, can't they.

These are my solutions, too. Out of sight, out of mind.
Got to love those head strong dds. I am grateful she'll never be a push over! (That's not to say I don't find it exasperating sometimes, I DO!)
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#9 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
If she won't wear a shirt under the sundress, would she wear it with a cardigan?
Yeah, but she just takes it off when she arives at her destination, or when i'm not looking.

I'm starting to think I'm just scared of her teacher. The results of catholic school!

Funny thing is that I remember getting into more trouble with my mom over what clothes i'd put on that anything else. I can't beleive we're going to this place- bet dd is helping me explore the farthest reaches of my issues about this.
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#10 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 04:43 PM
 
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OT is occupational therapy (for sensory issues) as this could be "sensation seeking."

Re: the teacher. Oh honey, in my long-ago life I taught preschool. Children will pick an outfit and wear it until it's falling off. Or only wear one color. Or insist on wearing a cowboy hat. Or.....I knew a kid that had to be refered to by his favorite character or he wouldn't answer. That's all just totally normal!

Unless this teacher's only been around kids a week or two, she's seen it.

I'll admit that when I took care of preschoolers it was the ones whose clothes were always pressed, clean and matched that worried me!!
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#11 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 05:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chfriend
I'll admit that when I took care of preschoolers it was the ones whose clothes were always pressed, clean and matched that worried me!!
:LOL

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#12 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 05:19 PM
 
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my kiddo likes to pick her own clothes too -- yesterday she wore a tie dye tshirt, a pair of striped pants and a cute dress over the top. today....I forget. Someone once told me that she'll be happier and easier to deal with (at school) when she wears what she's comfortable in.

I have a friend who has an outdoor thermometer (the old dial kind, not a digital one). By the "trigger" temps she put pics --- I think 20 f = boots
30 f = hat
40 f = coat
etc.

Maybe you guys could come up with a system she can agree with --- take some pics of her wearing the various outfits (sundress only, sundress + sweater, sundress + sweater + tights, snowsuit, etc.). and then paste them near the thermometer. It takes the subjectivity out of the argument. "Mom thinks it is too cold" is a lot harder for friend's dd to deal with than "the temperature is below 20"

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#13 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 05:29 PM
 
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two more thoughts -- I think the workbook that goes with "raising your spirited child" has ideas on this -- but my book's at home so I can't consult.

I can't see your sig line, but is your daughter old enough to get the visual that a graph might do for her? Get a piece of paper and graph the day's high temperature from the day before. Consult your favorite weather source (the paper, the weatherchannel, the internet) for the predicted temperature of today and then make a clothes decision.


ok three thoughts, mostly because I can SOOO relate to this. My mom used to have an end of the season party...we'd take a day and pack up all the summer clothes to put them away and it would be *SO* exciting to open the clothes trunk and pick out the new stuff. We'd have a special snack in the middle of the day (like in april she'd buy watermelon and in the fall she'd make hot chocolate). It was super fun. My siblings and I still talk about how fun those days were. And getting hand me downs is never THAT fun, kwim? anyhow point is that it might make it easier to get the inappropriate stuff out of the closet.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#14 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 05:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One tough thing for us with the season appropriat clothes is that we travel a lot. We're away like a week out of every other months. Sometimes somewhere colder, sometimes somewhere warmer.

This is a reason I'm lazy about putting away out of season clothes, and also why dd remembers them so well- we were just in hawaii in november and will be there abgain next month. DH has a long term work project in HI, so it is recurrent theme in our household.

I'm glad people agree about preschool clothing. It's hard because she's in a mixed class as it's a montessori school. The kids in her class are up to five, and I think one or two is six. I feel like that "raises the bar" for wardrobe a bit, but then again I had to wear a uniform starting at 5 so maybe I have a warped view.

I'm always seeing these kids wearing hats, gloves, tights, and I just hang my head in shame that I can't even get dd to wear underwear.

I'm interested in the issue of sensation with regards to kids. DD is a bit of a "sensation junky" as her old daycare provider commented. She's really physically hypersensitive (like you have to cut tags out of all her clothes) and I think that effects her feelings about clothes. While other kids may protest clothes at first- they tend to not notice them once they are out the door. My dd will cry and whine continually about it till you tak it off. She gets distracted pretty effectively at school, though.

Thanks for all the comments. I need to buy some books.
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#15 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 06:39 PM
 
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You might want to pop into the Special Needs forum and look around at the Sensory Integration threads.

Here's the out of sync website:

http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/

Mmmm Hawaii, Calgon take me away.....
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#16 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 06:48 PM
 
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My ds insists on wearing little outdoor clothing, and I allow this up to a point. Seriously I have let him play outside with snow on the ground w/o a coat. But he has to wear his socks and boots. If it is cold and we are going somewhere, I will usually just allow him to bring his coat along w/o wearing it.

There is a limit. There is a point at which I will put his clothes on for him. Simple, businesslike ---he may struggle and howl but his minimum necessary clothes will be on. I rarely end up needing tto do this. There is a point at which I say: "You may do this yourself or I will help you/do it for you." He prefers to do it himself.
Some things are just that necessary. If he was a girl, I would probably allow the dress with no shirt under since indoors it is not a big deal. (I tend to feel too warm in most heated buildings because we keep our house cool--typical indoor temps work with light clothing) I would consider requiring tights because when outdoors the coat would not cover legs. (However, when I was a child schoolgirls with bare legs in winter wasn't unusual--I remember choosing dresses and having cold legs fairly often.) I would definitely require underwear under dresses at school, if she's not wearing pants. (Hanna Anderson is known for selling extra-comfy undies for sensitive children.) But I don't require my children to wear underwear if they are otherwise reliably covered.

BTW it bothers me that you say you "can't" get her to wear underwear. You wrote "it is just not OK to wear a helter top outside in February." If that is your limit you need to follow through. I think it should be a decision--you decide whether it is necessary enough to require or you decide to let her choose. And you decide if the sundresses should be off-limits, then you can put them up and let her have the tantrums. Maybe you even put them up and let her have a tantrum and then make it clear that the condition for getting the dresses back is making a compromise about layering. But I really think YOU should decide--or decide when to let her decide.

You do need to let the teacher know were you stand. Otherwise dd may get the bad end of any teacher's negative reaction to the situation while you avoid it. You need to know if this teacher is going to be judgemental, unless you want to adapt and be equally strict yourself.

I think you should let the teacher know that it is okay for your daughter to wear the lighter clothes all day, if it is. And that the provided additional clothing is "just in case." Let her know how little/much dd should be requird to wear outside, and how much you expect your dd to be able to make the decision. Please respect yourself and your limits enough to communicate them to the teacher. It is hard, but you need to make this call. Also you need to know if the school has rules particularly as far as outdoor wear that pertain to their responsibility to keep the children safe/healthy. Then you can be on board with communicating those limits to your dd.

Writing a note might be an easy way to think this through and communicate it... I always found it hard when dropping off/picking up to really have meaningful and focused communication. In a note, you can let her know what your limits for you dd are, and also ask if the clothing drop-off has bothered her. Tell her your preferences and ask to know hers.

I also think there are some great ideas in some of the PP. Good positive ideas-- I think I will try that thermometer thing myself...

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#17 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 07:08 PM
 
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Ok first I would talk to the teacher and see what she is comfortable with. As a teacher if I had to realy dress a child for recess I would be complaining to the parent to send thier child in something apprpriate. but if she doesn't mind or if your dd is pretty fast and self sufficient I don't see why she would have a problem.

If it was my child I would just put all the summer clothes away (OK my kids are obsessedwith sumer clothes so I do actually do this. I am just very careful to do it the day we drag out the fall and winter stuff. they are excited about new clothes, I am quickly hustling the summer clothes out. it is exhausting but kills a few struggles before they start) I am not scared of tantrums and they will go away eventually. The sooner she has her tantrum and gets over it the sonner we can move past it. and not have tantrums about it every time I have to take the dress off her (my youngest is currently obsessed with her sisters clothes )

third option is just giving into it. what is the worst that will happen? she gets cold? Ok don't let her get hypothermic but don't rush to bail her out with a bag of clothes either. Don't offer to carry everything around for her. Sure you have a right to be fashiionable but the only person who has to suffer for it is you. eventually you will either see it really is important to her or it really wasn't important to her but either way it is not your problem. For example we live in South Dakota. It is rare but occaisionally my children will feel very strongly about not wearing a coat. I insist they bring one with them but I don't carry it for them. I don't run back to the car and get it for them. all the hassle that comes from not wearing a coat is thiers.

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#18 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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deeporgarden- The "can't" about underwear is simply that she finds it extremely uncomfortable to wear underwear under other clothes. I think this is because she has mulluscum contagiosum on her groin, so it rubs. I do enforce underwear when outside the house if she's not wearing pants and she's used to that.

I suppose you're right that i don't know where I stand. One thing is that i did take a stand for several days and it started to be more work than it was worth. There was hysterical trauma every time we left the house. If I put away the sundresses she'd just go around the house nude and we would still have to deal with putting on clothes at some point, so I'm not sure it's avoidable.

The other choice would be requiring clothes at home and I don't even want to TRY to go down that road.

I do know that if something is necessary (like sitting in a carseat) I just have to bite the bullet and physically force her, but I HATE having to physically force her to do things, especially the same thing each day, especially when I'm not sure how necessary the "thing" is. (Funny thing is that I was OK with physically forcing her to brush teeth each night till she finally acquiesced.)

As for not carrying her clothes or bringing a jacket, she's 2.5 so I think she's still learning about being cold and wearing clothes. I'm all about letting her experience consequences, but right now I'm trying to teach her cause and effect- and solutions.
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#19 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 09:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chfriend
You might want to pop into the Special Needs forum and look around at the Sensory Integration threads.

Here's the out of sync website:

http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/

Mmmm Hawaii, Calgon take me away.....
I read a bit about sensory integration and i think she's just "fiesty". I hate the term strong willed- it feels like a scary label.

She was an easy baby because she was born knowing what she wanted. I guess what makes a baby "easy" can sure be difficult in a toddler.
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#20 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 11:48 PM
 
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Just to make you feel better.....my dd has for the past week has been playing outside in the snow with sundresses or her favorite underwear/longsleeve shirt/hat combo. I just have her play in the backyard so I can avoid the stares. I provide the warm clothing by the door. She does seem to put more on if she is chilly.

Can't you just let her wear the dresses and pack sweaters/coats? Tell her teachers so they know and you feel better.

What does she wear on her feet? I would try rules about hats/feet/mittens before changing clothing. If she has a hat and warm footwear I would be less worried about the chilly factor.
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#21 of 26 Old 02-10-2005, 11:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo
I suppose you're right that i don't know where I stand. One thing is that i did take a stand for several days and it started to be more work than it was worth. There was hysterical trauma every time we left the house. If I put away the sundresses she'd just go around the house nude and we would still have to deal with putting on clothes at some point, so I'm not sure it's avoidable.

The other choice would be requiring clothes at home and I don't even want to TRY to go down that road.

I do know that if something is necessary (like sitting in a carseat) I just have to bite the bullet and physically force her, but I HATE having to physically force her to do things, especially the same thing each day, especially when I'm not sure how necessary the "thing" is. (Funny thing is that I was OK with physically forcing her to brush teeth each night till she finally acquiesced.)

As for not carrying her clothes or bringing a jacket, she's 2.5 so I think she's still learning about being cold and wearing clothes. I'm all about letting her experience consequences, but right now I'm trying to teach her cause and effect- and solutions.

I guess the way you said it made it seem weird to me. Personally, I wouldn't fight that battle and don't see it as worth it. I commented on the fact that you seem to be saying it's not okay with you for her to wear a summer item. I think it is okay. Lots of people wear sleeveless things indoors in winter. It sounded to me like the issue was talking to the teacher and maybe being more sure of yourself as to whether you felt it to be okay--whether you should do something to control this. Personally I would try to give dd as much freedom as possible within what is absolutely required and explain that to the teacher and get a sense of the teacher's POV. ----And I would also just carry her stuff for her too--she's little. Gosh, I actually thought she was older because I didn't think of 2yo being in "school" hmmmm... Anyhow, I'm sure you'll work this out

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#22 of 26 Old 02-11-2005, 01:50 AM
 
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I thought she was older too.

So your only optioons are to either insist that she wear somehting else, get rid of the offending clothing or make compromises (such as wearing a shirt under the dress) you can live with. with consistancy she will get over it and stop throwing tantrums.

or you can just live with it.

I think 2 1/2 is still very baby and I can't imagine letting my 2 year old pick inappropriate clothing any more than I would let my 2 month old. Mine were too young to understand natrual consequences and to young to be rational about the clothes they love. Also they lacked enough communication skills to understand my reasoning or express thier own. So I still would feel led to make descisions for them at this age.

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#23 of 26 Old 02-11-2005, 04:00 AM
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I'll chime in here as a teacher and a parent.

Just this year I started a Montessori school in my home, but I have been involved in Montessori schools for the past 12 or 13 years. As some of the other posters have said, unless your teacher is a new one, she has seen it all.

How does she feel about all of this? I have has plenty of children who arrive barely clothed, but all of the children are required to bring a certain level of outdoor clothing. Does she argue with the teacher about putting on outdoor clothing? I would guess that she does not, or if she does it is with far less emotion than with you.

Once a new four year old girl started in my class in the middle of the school year. When her mother asked what to bring, I gave her the usual answer that includes a complete change of clothing, boots (it can be muddy), weather appropriate coat or jacket. She said, "Well, I can bring the jacket but I usually can't get her to wear it."
I respect a child's right to regulate their temperature, to a point. If it is cold out a coat is needed. I really did not have a problem "getting" the child to wear a coat. The first time she said, "I don't want to wear a coat." I said, without fanfare or emotion, that in our school we wear coats outside if it is cold. She put it on and has never mentioned it again. Because I am not the child's parent there is less emotion involved with a disagreement.


My own son likes to be in his underpants, but he knows that when the "students are here" we all wear pants. If he wants to be naked or just in his underwear he can play in his room and that is fine. If he wants to play downstairs or in the classroom he needs pants. He rarely argues about it, but he also knows that it is firm.

Several years ago I worked at a school where three children from the same family attended. They had a younger sibling too young to attend who would come with the mother to pick up the older ones. She would only wear a bathing suit, no matter the season. If it was the middle of a midwestern winter, she would be wearing the warmest REI snowsuit, with a bathing suit underneath.

When she was three and ready to start our school the teacher (who by now knew her well) pointed out to her during the summer that when school started she would have to choose something else to wear to school. The mother didn't have to say a thing, the child understood that is what was expected and she *really* wanted to go to school.

I enjoy seeing how the children will dress themselves. I appreciate a parent who will let a child come to school with jeans and an undershirt with a slip over the whole thing (pretty popular - slips are so satiny!).

Talk to your child's teacher. Likely it is no big deal to her. Good luck!

Ellen
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#24 of 26 Old 02-11-2005, 04:31 AM
 
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Speaking as a former preschool teacher here too...

You know, I really encourage you to talk to your DD's teacher. Tell her that DD is obviously going through a phase with the sundresses. Ask her for help on what she would like for the classroom.

I had LOTS of little girls who would insist on wearing sundresses and/or party dresses to school, and it didn't bother me at all--though my room was very chilly, so they would wear some tights OR a jacket (or both, if they so chose) while they were at school in winter. The power struggle differential is SO different with parents--a lot of times a teacher can "get" them to do something they won't do at home. So, if you're worried about what the teacher thinks, ask her to help you out. If the teacher WON'T help you out with that, I would be concerned.

This is, after all, a pretty minor situation. The only parent I ever got in a tangle with dressing wise was one who brought her kid in EVERY DAY in his PJs and expected me to get him dressed for the day (including socks and shoes). But just a simple rule of keeping a cardigan or warm socks and shoes on in the classroom? That's something you should be able to enlist her help with.

And you know, maybe your daughter just has a high internal thermostat. Even now, I can't stand long sleeves or heavy fabric (even when I lived in MN) because they make me sweat! At home I'm in tees/shorts or light pants, and if I get a little chilly, all I need is some socks. So, this could be a metabolism thing too--which is why I suggest the cardigan OR tights/cushy socks choice. For me, my feet are my regulators. As long as they are warm, I can almost be naked and be fine--but I hate the feeling of stuff on my lower arms.
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#25 of 26 Old 02-11-2005, 04:57 AM
 
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As I fellow Catholic school survivor, I just want to encourage you to try to ELIMINATE THE SHAME FACTOR and then go from there figuring out the right thing to do for your daughter (be that somehow insisting on more clothes, or letting it go).

Sometimes, feeling ashamed in a public or semi-public situation can be the core issue. I am slowly coming to terms with this with my dd, who often wants to go out in short sleeves. The truth is, I know very well that her subjective temperature may be quite different from mine, she used to sweat buckets on me as a baby without being overdressed, she never gets sick, she asks for her coat when she's cold, and it is really no trouble for me to slip these tiny pieces of outerwear into my bag. Yet it is still hard for me to let it roll off my back when some random person says in a scolding tone, "That child should have a coat on!" I manage only by substituting for my gut reaction a sort of rational process: I am already free of that tone, because I know that it is always a sign of something very wrong. I am not going to let the shame overtake my awareness of the content and its helpfulness or unhelpfulness. Etc.

Oye Yemaya oloto
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#26 of 26 Old 02-11-2005, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thats for all the advice- although this is a kinda superficial topic, it speaks to a deeper issue.

I started this struggle because we had a house guest and I was worried what he'd think. I kept it going because I was worried what her teachers would think. It's silly.

I send her to school in a dress of her choice, leggings, fleece boots, a sweater (if there's a sundress involved) and a coat. I think that's fine. It's only 35 degrees in the morning but it's been warming up to like 60 in the afternoons, and is definately at least 45 or 50 by recess. I think the teachers can handle helping her on with her sweater if she's cold in the classoom, but from experience I doubt that ever happens. I also know she's not defiant with her teachers.

We went to the playground yesterday and I had just gotten dd a new (second hand) "princess" dress up dress. She wore it to the park with just undees underneath. I was gratified to notice that not only was she not the only kid underdressed, she wasn;t even the only kid in a princess outfit.

Sure, there are kids out there in winter jackets and hats in the afternoon 60 degrees, but even I think it's overkill, and if dd wants to be lightly dressed to run errands there's really no reason not to- we go from house to car to store, etc. She can put on a sweater if cold- I always have extra clothes in my car nomatter what. The drastic daily fluctuations in temp assure there's always a discarded sweater or jacket in my backseat.

She's actually more like 2 and 3/4, but she seems more mature than most of her friends the same age. I know she understands that if you're cold you put on a sweater- though she is too young to understand that her clothing choices now affect how she may feel in several hours. SO I know I have to make some choices for her, but want to encourage her to make her own choices and learn about things on her own time.

Thanks again for all the help. I feel like I have a better understanding of what I think now.

Jennifer
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