My bossy 2 year old... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 02-27-2005, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
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It is a very funny thng to hear my 2 year old tell her daddy, "Don't come in here. Go in the living room where you belong" However, it is still rude. My DH obeys her commands and goes away when she demands it. On vacation in Florida she was bossing my mother around, too. "nanny go in the other room" What is the best way to respond to this bossiness? Noone takes it especially personally but it does sound rude.
So far everyone obeys the command and I am thinking this is not the right thing. Is telling her to ask the person nicely more appropriate or should we try to get her to not be so bossy?

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#2 of 5 Old 02-27-2005, 03:26 PM
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i would expect the person she is bossing to stand up for them selves and give her an i statement- "i dont like being bossed around, it makes me feel (insert feeling)..because if it bothers them they should say it , if not, you have to ask yourself why it matters to you. what feelings are involved here, on your part. why does it make you uncomfotable.
that said, i think 2 is very young still. she is just asserting her autonomy- IYKWIM

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#3 of 5 Old 02-27-2005, 04:41 PM
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I think it's age appropriate behavior, too. In my experience, a toddler sending someone out of the room really meant "Daddy, please leave. I'm playing with Mommy now and don't want you distracting her." Sometimes, I would rephrase my ds's demands to model a more polite way of saying it.

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#4 of 5 Old 02-27-2005, 07:48 PM
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Yes, I think it's important to understand and respect the feelings behind it. Sometimes DD is a bit introverted and really needs her space. The only way she knows how to say this is "No! Daddy Leave!". Of course, I don't want her being rude. I tell her that it's okay to want some space. Then I give her words like "I need my space, please" and explain that what she was doing is hurtful words, impolite, etc. So when she's being bossy, I try to figure out the underlying motive, then give her "nicer" words to use to express that.

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#5 of 5 Old 02-27-2005, 10:11 PM
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I also think most 2-year olds do not have the vocabulary/ language development to understand the difference between "go away" and "please, I need some space" They just use the words they have to say what they want, without really understanding how some sentences have rude/bossy connoations while others are considered polite. Of course, we still have to teach them the polite way to say what they mean, but understand that they aren't being bossy or rude, just communicating they best way they can. My dd also says things like "go away" becaue she is rather introverted and does need space, so I just correct her with a nicer way of saying it, but really I don't think at that age they are really able to understand the difference.

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