I need help for 2yr old that says no no no no no and no! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-30-2005, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all,

This is my first time posting on GD. I usually hang out at multiples board. I am having an issue with my 2 yr old (27 mos) and I'm not sure how to handle it. He seems to get so frustrated and I can't always even tell why. For example, last night he woke up and came downstairs while Iwas cleaning kitchen. this was about the 4th time up and it was only 11pm. I let him stay up this time with me and have a snack. Then I said time for night night and we started to walk back upstairs. I had a million things in my hands and he asked me to hold him. I said sure wait just 1 minute while I put these things down. Well that did it. He ran away saying no no no no. I went to him and asked to hold him or what he wanted or needed. More of no no no no. I can't even get out of him what is bothering him or what he wants.

Let me also say that getting him to bed is tough. I give him a choice to sleep with mommy or daddy. (Usually I nurse my twin girls (9 mos) and daddy sleeps with ds.) Sometimes he'll pick but his answer is usually no no no no. I try to offer other choices but he doesn't pick. Then I say if you can't make a choice then I will have to pick for you. And then the no's come again.

And this happens other times too...not just bedtime. I know there are issues with him not getting all of mommy like he is used to having. He has done really well with adjusting to having 2 new sisters and I do my best to spend time with each and all my 3 kids. He'll also throw himself on the floor or hit and I want to find out what is causing this behavior so I can help relieve his frustration. I can chalk alot of it up to him being over tired, but I can't get him to bed at a decent time so he can get rest without all the no no no no's. Anyway I'm rambling now...how do I find what's wrong if he won't say anything but no when he is angry?

HELP ME PLEASE!!!
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#2 of 5 Old 03-30-2005, 11:14 PM
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My twin girls will be 15 this June 8th! They have an older sis who's 2 and 1/4 years older, so I know how it is. (and a bro, 8 years older, and a sis 11 years older, but I digress)

I LOVE 2 yo's. I love the NOnonononononono thing. Weird huh?

Anyway. He does sound tired, and NO is a great word at this age. However, telling you what's wrong is probably beyond him, he may not know. Or be able to say. Your asking him is just overloading his already exhausted and irritated system. WHile two choices are often the way to go, sometimes, just having mommy carry you upstairs and tuck you in and cuddle is better.

I always put all three of mine down at once. (DH was on homework patrol) DD#3 would lie down and snugggle with whatever part of me she could, while the other two nursed themselves to bliss.

Try echoing him. "Oh, ds is saying NO, he doesn't want to go to bed! I hate going to bed sometimes too. But I love Goodnight Moon. Lets' read it." Avoid asking him if he wants to. If he says no, try just continuing on, get the book or whatever,etc. Or just say "oh, daddy's going to put you to bed tonight. I love you!"

Try choices during the day, while he's feeling good. This won't last! Also, when he gets up, I'd try to put him back down quickly and matter-of-factly. No snacks or talks. It just winds them up.

BTW, GD is NOT my specialty!
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#3 of 5 Old 03-31-2005, 06:21 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gotmilkmama
I had a million things in my hands and he asked me to hold him. I said sure wait just 1 minute while I put these things down. Well that did it.
I soo understand you. My dd is 2,5 and she does this too. Little, minor things like the one you describe irritate her out of proportion and bring on lots of cryng. Sometimes it may be difficult to comfort her because when she is irritated she starts saying no to everything. At this point, committed as I have always been not to let my DDs CIO I just have to resort to letting her cry for 3 minutes at least and then go back to her. I do not like doing it, but honestly, she cries less when I do it, because when I try and try to comfort her she sometimes cries for a half hour. I do agree with Red that when they are tired, they just do not know what they want and it is useless to ask.
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#4 of 5 Old 03-31-2005, 07:20 PM
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My daughter is an only child and she does this a lot, especially when she is tired or hungry. She is a very verbal child and knows a lot of words for everything including how she feels, she just can't use them when she is tired so I make the decision for her when she is in these moods.
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#5 of 5 Old 04-01-2005, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks girls!! You've given me some good ideas. I will put them to use tonight. I try to offer choices that are easy and simple but I am so tired that sometimes I even wonder what I am saying. And I think you all make much sense. I know when I'm tired I don't want to have to decide anything. So choices should maybe wait till morning. Thank you!
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