Alfie Kohn on "Supernanny" - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 227 Old 08-02-2005, 10:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tashile
I read the same article. Alfie Kohn has all of the wrong advice and Jo Frost has all of the right advice.
you certainly are entitled to your opinion. i think if you take the time to delve further into this forum, you will find an abundance of well-informed parents, referring to well-researched papers and articles that outline the why's and wherefore's of gentle discipline.

the people here are working to raise their children conscious of the impact that so many of the 'standard' or 'mainstream' practices can have.

and, as someone above mentioned, advocating hitting is not allowed here. (regarding your other post).
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#122 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 04:51 PM
 
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#123 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:11 PM
 
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#124 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:11 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...26&postcount=1

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

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#125 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tashile
This statement is wrong. The numbers you are mentioning relate to people convicted of violent crimes, not all crimes. I have a degree in psychology, specifically in criminal psychology. When I was in college, I did research in deviant behavior of juveniles. The survey targeted individuals who had been convicted of theft. Of those surveyed, most had experienced a great deal of love from their family. Of this same group, nearly 83% had never had an enforcement of rules. Their parents had simply tried to correct bad behavior by explanation. Had the parents of this group of adolescents actually disciplined their children, the majority would not have ended up in a detention facility. This principal has been statistically validated. Most criminals in detention today are there because they were never taught that there were consequences for their actions. Explaining consequences is not as effective has actually performing the action

P.S.

For the record, no where in the user agreement is there a ban against corporal punishment......even though you may wish it!
No, not in the user agreement, but the user agreement says each forum has individual rules, and one of the rules in this forum is no advocating corporal punishment. I gave you a link in my previous post.

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Please appreciate that this forum is not a place to uphold or advocate physical punishment of children. Personal preferences for and encouragement of use of physical punishment are inappropriately posted here. Posts of that nature will be edited by the member upon request or will be removed.

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#126 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:22 PM
 
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#127 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:33 PM
 
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First of all, as someone kindly pointed out to you there is clause on this forum that prohibits endorsing corporal punishment. When you agreed to the user agreement you agreed to this.

Also, there is a nice line about the PURPOSE of this forum:

Quote:
This forum has a specific aim: to help parents learn and apply gentle discipline methods in raising their children.
You are really speaking out of turn here with your condemnation of Gentle Discipline and now Attachment Parenting.

This is directly from the User Agreement:
Quote:
MDC serves an online community of parents and parents-to-be considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. Our discussions on the boards are about the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support and information and Mothering invites you to read and participate in the discussions. In doing so we ask that you agree to respect and uphold the integrity of this community. Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members. We have formed specific discussion guidelines and rules for maintaining a reciprocal and welcoming atmosphere for all discussion board participants.
So, why exactly are you here? Because so far you've only been insulting and disagreeable.
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#128 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:34 PM
 
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Welcome to Mothering, tashile. You seem to have a lot of concerns about AP parenting of children. Do you consider yourself an attachment-style parent?

You say, "From what I have read, the majority of AP parents go overboard and end up "smoothering" their children with love."

Where have you read this?
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#129 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:37 PM
 
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#130 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:41 PM
 
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Thank you for the newsflash, tashile. Your tone seems quite disrepectful to the other members here.
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#131 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:43 PM
 
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#132 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:47 PM
 
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Ahh, tashile, I see where the misunderstanding is. Gentle Discipline is not a debate forum.

From the sticky on guidelines at the top of the forum:

"Welcome to Gentle Discipline. This forum has a specific aim: to help parents learn and apply gentle discipline methods in raising their children. "
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#133 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:47 PM
 
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#134 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:48 PM
 
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The words "corporal punishment" are not used, but MDC defines gentle discipline as discipline that doesn't use corporal punishment, so the idea is certainly in the TOS.
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#135 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tashile
The words corporal punishment are not once used in the user agreement, so your point is wrong.
Listen, you're new and people are trying to point out the forum guidelines to you. Read them, please.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tashile
As to your question, I am here to debate the pros and cons of AP/GD.
This isn't a debate board. But good luck with that.

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Originally Posted by tashile
If you are so easily offended, perhaps you don't really know why you believe what you believe.
Perhaps.

Mostly I'm just annoyed by you.
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#136 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:49 PM
 
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#137 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:53 PM
 
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#138 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 05:57 PM
 
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I believe this is the quote people are referring to when they bring up your advocacy of physical punishment:

"I disagree with spanking, however, there are times that this is the only way to get a child's attention. My daughter ran away from my wife and I in the mall. I caught her and smacked her bottom just once. She started wimpering and then looked at me. I explained why I had spanked her and why she shouldn't run off. Just talking to children doesn't get the message across. Anyone who thinks otherwise must have someone else raising their children. I perfectly understand that all children are different."

The statement there are times that spanking is the only way to get a child's attention could easily be read as advocating spanking.

Many here have found that there are many ways to get children's attention without punishing, physically or otherwise.
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#139 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:01 PM
 
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Tashile, there is no shortage of places to debate wether attachment parenting and gentle discipline are meethods with merit. Like, most of the world, most parenting discussions, most playgrounds, most kitchen tables. This is not such a palce. This is a place to discuss HOW to attachment parent, and HOW to use gentle discipline. Clearly you are not here to learn about these concepts, just to annoy, bait, and disrespect those of us who are committed to these things, or working to learn about them.
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#140 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:04 PM
 
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#141 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:05 PM
 
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#142 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:06 PM
 
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I believe Sadie summed it up nicely.

Peace to you and your family.
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#143 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tashile
Are you offended by the term debate...fine...I'll use the word discuss. Some have mentioned that they disagree with me. That is okay, we all don't have to agree.
Did you read the part of the UA that I posted? Do you not understand it? This is a place where AP parents can find support and people who are interested in AP can learn. It's not a place to come and tell people how wrong and stupid they are and how right you are. Especially with your first few posts. :LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by tashile
However, I have read the posts and considered the point-of-view of others.

Can everyone else say the same?
Yes, we get posters like you pretty frequently. Most of us are very familiar with the criticisms of AP and GD. Trust me when I tell you that your input is not novel.
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#144 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tashile
At three, my daughter is incredibly independent. If she is hurt or upset, she still comes to my wife and I for comfort. However, in everyday situations, she wants to everything herself, because she wants to be a "big girl".
You have just described my DD to a tee and yet I do my best to use the AP style of childrearing. She is very attached to me but that is not the same as lacking independence. She is appropriately attached and independent. I on the other hand was raised with a lot of the sort of consequences you apparently advocate (including spanking and not having my feelings taken into consideration at all or in any way treated with respect by my parents) and codependent should have been my middle name until fairly recently (hell I probably still have a bit of a problem with it). I'd be very curious to actually see evidence that children who are lovingly parented actually grow up to be codependent. I'm not buying it myself.
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#145 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:12 PM
 
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#146 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:17 PM
 
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Take it up with Peggy O'Mara, the site's owner. YOU signed the User Agreement, don't cry foul when people call you on violating it.

People are generally intolerant of rudeness here.

There have been lots of polite dissenters here who have sparked wonderful discussions. You are not among them.
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#147 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:18 PM
 
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#148 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:22 PM
 
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#149 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:28 PM
 
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:LOL Sarcasm's not allowed either.

This is fun!
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#150 of 227 Old 08-04-2005, 06:29 PM
 
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