Using soap as punishment - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 10 Old 09-14-2005, 11:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was visiting another forum (not MDC) and came across a thread about the first days of preschool... I scrolled to the bottom, and there was a post about a preschooler being "mouthy" and that she has been for a while... and maybe she was "picking it up from a teenager???".... then the mother noted that she is thinking about putting soap in the girl's mouth. I feel compelled to respond and was thinking of posting a link for this board...? Any thoughts?


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Thank you for all your responses, I decided to post a link to this thread, and maybe she can look around in the archives and other threads to help her with her discipline questions...

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#2 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 12:09 AM
 
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For one thing, I think that's dangerous. Soap tastes horrible. I've never had my mouth washed out, but I've heard of it so as a kid I once chewed on a bar of soap. Big mistake. I'd be afraid that a kid would choke on the nasty taste and actually suck the soap down their throats. Not to mention that soap is for external use only and wasn't designed to be ingested. Plus the loss of trust the child would experience with the mom. In short, there are no good reasons for this mom to try this with her baby.

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#3 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 12:20 AM
 
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I don't have any suggestions for you to pass along, but I think the idea of her doing that to a young child is horrendous! When my sister and I were younger (much older than preschool), our mother made us both sit with a bar of soap in our mouth for about an hour because she overheard us saying swear words...we had just heard them/learned them???
To this day I remember that incident and it really is a horrible memory. I remember every little detail about, from the gagging to being stuck with that disgusting taste in my mouth for what seemed like forever-I could NEVER imagine doing this to my own child. I hope for her sake and the sake of her dd, that she comes to her senses and realizes what a stupid decision that would be...I mean come on, there are times when we all feel "unqualified" to be a parent, but I still know the difference between a discipline of sorts and something that is just plain cruel and unescessary. :

Btw, I think you are very kind for looking to help her, I hope someone has some good suggestions for you to pass along.
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#4 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 12:36 AM
 
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Iwas talking about this the other day with a friend... I said when I was little, soap was just soap and couldn't hurt you, nowadays soap ain't soap. It's antibacterial junk with stuff in it you can't even pronounce, so of course Iwouldn't use it....I might accidentally poison someone! :LOL
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#5 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 12:58 AM
 
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I said when I was little, soap was just soap and couldn't hurt you, nowadays soap ain't soap.
Actually even soap of "our youth" isn't safe ever even homemade soap uses lye or ash in many recipies this stuff is very toxic it requires carefull handling. protecting ones skin eyes while being used and processed. Sure the finial result is a "safe for skin and "minor accidential' swollowing , but I wouldn't delibertly make someone "eat" ant.

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#6 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 01:12 AM
 
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I had to eat soap a few times as a child... it was terrible. The only thing I learned from it was fear, and how to lie better so as not to get caught. I don't think these are the lesson this mama is wanting to teach her kids.
I would recommend "When Angry Hurts Your Kids" it is a great book. It goes into how to deal with this sort of thing, how to not take those sorts of behaviors personally. Plus it goes into what is age approperate. Which is so helpful. And it talks about journaling. It was a real blessing for me to find a few years ago.

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#7 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 04:32 AM
 
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sara, posting links is a good idea. i would though post first links of appropriate ps age behaviour and make sure mouthing off is mentioned there, then post links on what is gd and its tools, and then here. this gives the person a chance to explore the background of what principles MDC stands for and therefore a logical place to ask ?s

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#8 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 12:41 PM
 
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She is talking about putting the soap in the 'teenage siblings' mouth, right? Not the preschooler? It's not the preschooler fault for repeating.

She should be tracking down the source and then dealing with them, certainly not by putting soap in their mouth, surely with a teenager she could explain that the child is repeating those words and she should try to be a positive role model -- well, I'm not going to give advice on how to deal with teenagers because THANKFULLY I have no experience yet and have a lot of pre-plotting/planning to do over the next 10 years!

But I just wanted to make sure she wasn't talking about the preschooler.
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#9 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 01:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by diane1969
She is talking about putting the soap in the 'teenage siblings' mouth, right? Not the preschooler? It's not the preschooler fault for repeating.

She should be tracking down the source and then dealing with them, certainly not by putting soap in their mouth, surely with a teenager she could explain that the child is repeating those words and she should try to be a positive role model
These were my thoughts too! It makes absolutely no sense to me to punish the little one.
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#10 of 10 Old 09-15-2005, 02:29 PM
 
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"Washing the mouth out with soap" is a longstanding tradition in my father's family for swearing, being "mouthy," etc., and frankly I think it's horrendous. Luckily my own parents had the sense not to pass this little tradition along.

Just the other day my cousin was mentioning that her 18-month-old had started saying "no" a lot and my grandmother piped up with "I guess she's kinda young for the soap, but you could try it."

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