I am still working with dd and will probably seek some professional counselling. My dh and I had a big arguement about it last night because of it too. He and I used to be on the same page raising the kids, but lately we are separating further and further apart. I do think it opens up avenues of problems with the kids too.
My daughter is defiant, will holler and stamp her foot to get what she wants. I do insist that she go to bed early too because being tired and not getting enough sleep does affect her disposition. I am going to eliminate high sugared foods from her diet as well. She gets frustrated...she wants to do things independently and will not let me do things for her, i.e. her hair, or help her with her lessons, and will say "no" if I ask her to do something.
I put her on a good behavior sticker program. I listed about 5 things she must do successfully to get a sticker for the day. If she gets 5 stickers in a week she gets to do something special. She managed to get 3 stickers last week and has not gotten any more since last week. I will continue to set a few goals for her until the end of the month. If this is not working I will think of another incentive for her. She does get easily discouraged, so I have to remind her to keep sight of her goal for the day.
Example; Goals for the day: No screaming, yelling
Things I request be done without arguement
Get ready for bed and be in bed on time
Help me with one thing daily
This is the general protocol each day. She was excited to try it for a few days but now is off track again. She is only 7 yo so I try to break things down in small steps.