Toddler discipline? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 11-29-2005, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He's 13 months. He bites, though that's getting to be a little more rare. But when he does it, I say NO and he does it more. I give him this book I got from somebody at a baby shower that's got the teething corners, he does go for that...

He loves to dig in the trash. I take him away from the can, he repeats. Repeat saga throughout day whenever I am attempting to do anything in the kitchen.

He also climbs--EVERYTHING!! I take him down and tell him no, he does it again. He has fallen, but that's a deterrent for maybe the next hour or so...if we're lucky. I can keep him off the dining room chairs by pushing them in so he CAN'T climb them, but there is the coffee table and the living room bookshelf. Do I just not have furniture? :P
We can't go outside and climb something, we are snowed in and it's been below zero.
Help me not resort to what my dad would've done and swatting his butt.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#2 of 9 Old 11-30-2005, 12:30 AM
 
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My DS is almost exactly a year older than yours. Last year when he was driving me crazy with the climbing we:

(1) Childproofed as much as possible. I put all but 2 of our dining room chairs in the basement, and also got rid of the coffee table and end tables.

and

(2) Worked hard to engage him as much as possible so he could get his needs met w/o doing thing I didn't want. In general I found when he was really driving me crazy it was because I was trying to get too much done and that it helped to play with him more.

-Got out of the house. I found this was good for my mental health and also helped with wearing him out. We bundled up and played outside, went to the library (sometimes we went to story time and other times he just loved playing with the toys in the children's area), went to the local children's museum (where I live you can pay $50 and go as much as you want for a year), played with the train table at barnes and noble, went to LLL meetings.

-Found ways for him to run around/be wild. My SIL got a ball pit off of ebay and put an old matress under it to give her kids a way to get some large motor activity inside during the winter. I have another friend who got a trampoline that has a handle on it for this purpose (though your son might not be ready for this yet). And a big favorite of DS's was playing chase (which consisted of me chasing him around the house with a toy that made noise).

For in-house activities Jackie Silberg has some books with good ideas for ways to play with little kids. I checked one out from the public library.

Another good in-house activity for my son was playing in the sink with the water faucet just *barely* on (he stood on a stool while I was next to him),

Playing with a bowl of corn starch and water is always fun.


Good luck--I know it's hard!
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#3 of 9 Old 11-30-2005, 02:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oooohhh corn starch and water....we'll have to do that! won't matter if he eats it.

Tonight I crawled in the tub with him, we both got clean and he has FINALLY started to LOVE playing in the water--today we discovered the squirty whales! And he 'signs' "fish" making a fishy face. Today he also signed 'eat' without me asking!! Solved the question of why he was running around the kitchen trying to drive me crazy...

My mom plays chase with him around the kitchen LOL we live in an apartment and you can run a circle through the kitchen and around the couch...he LOVES that.

I find too when I stop and play with him a bit, then after 10 mins or so, if I need to, I can get away and do dishes or something. Eventually he'll come find me but he'll be content in the room with a pot and a wooden spoon... or just a pot LOL

aww right now he is leaning his head on my leg making 'mmmmmm' noises

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#4 of 9 Old 12-01-2005, 09:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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impatiently bumping for more ideas.....I have a lot more experience with the 3 to 5 set than the under-2's!! :P

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#5 of 9 Old 12-02-2005, 12:28 AM
 
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Just put everything away and save your nerves and let him have fun.

Dining chairs can go on top of the table when not in use.

We put all of our occassional tables, coffee tables, etc. in storage in our basement for the timebeing. Bookshelves can be anchored to the wall so that they will not fall.

Our trash stayed on the back porch until this month (twins are now 2 and understand that it's dirty).

Then, give him stuff he CAN climb - we had a twin mattress and piles of pillows in our living room all last winter when my twins were the same age. In the kitchen, you can give him a cupboard that is his own to dig in with fun stuff (empty food boxes, etc.)

Take him places where he can get his "ya-ya's" out - a movement class, the play area at the mall, whatever.

My son was a big biter too and it almost always had to do with teething. I just always redirected him to things that he COULD bite and he would happily chew away.

Good luck!
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#6 of 9 Old 12-02-2005, 12:59 AM
 
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I agree with pp, provide climbing opportunities. Make cushion piles, pillow piles, put an exerciser 'step' where he can crawl over it, make obstacle courses (piles of pillows, big books, blankets, stuffed animals) to climb over, around, through, make tunnels, tents, etc. Move the trash can, don't fight over it.

Have you tried Hyland's teething tablets or Chamamilla tablets? Frozen wet wash clothes to chew on, frozen bananas, teethers that freeze, etc.

Pat

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#7 of 9 Old 12-02-2005, 02:15 AM
 
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Toddlers! I have a thirteen-month-old, too, so I know what you're dealing with. You can play around with redirection, being proactive, problem-solving, etc., and it might help cut back on some of the behaviors. Still, toddlers are impulsive and immature as far as brain development goes, and it is really hard for them to make the choices that we want them to make. As hard as it can be to deal with their defiance, I think that it's a critical part of growing up. When my ds hit 2 1/2 or so, you could reason with him. Life got so much easier when that happened. Until then, I think that we make parenting choices so that we can live in peace with one another, but not to shape their future behaviors. I think that loving them, nurturing them, and caring about their point-of-view without being permissive is the best "discipline" for a toddler. This is, I know, easier said than done.
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#8 of 9 Old 12-02-2005, 02:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I live in an apartment. I don't have anywhere to move all my tables to. I have figured out if the chairs are pushed in, he doesn't climb on them or on the dining table.

I can't move the trash either, it's got to be somewhere, and there's nowhere to put it that he can't get it. If I had a back porch, it would go there. DH turned it around today so he can't open it, it's the kind of lid that opens up on the front, yk? That should work for awhile at least.

I'm very tempted to move the bookshelf in the master bedroom, which the door is shut to anyway.

He does have cupboards in the kitchen...ALL the low ones! lol. Nothing in any of them that I can't let him have.

I have been distracting him to that book...good idea with the washcloth! I've done it a couple times but then I lose the washcloth to the laundry and forget to do another. :P His book also has a thing that looks like it's got water in it, like you're supposed to put it in the fridge or something? I've also considered but not made or bought frozen waffles...

First kid of my own, working on it.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#9 of 9 Old 12-09-2005, 03:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zakers_mama
I live in an apartment. I don't have anywhere to move all my tables to. .
Yea thats my main problem besides really wanting it, there is no where to put it and since my furniture was a gift, it would be insulting to get rid of it when it was given to me just a few months ago! Of course the safety of my child is much more important, hmmmm maybe I could just flip the coffe tables upside down when I can't "spot" her!!!! yay! thanks for helping me brainstorm!!!
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