help me stop yelling - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

help me stop yelling

Magella's Avatar Magella
06:24 PM Liked: 27
#61 of 203
12-27-2005 | Posts: 2,445
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I just wanted to add that I have found that clinging to my ideas about what is right or wrong, good or bad, appropriate or inappropriate, and so on (regarding myself and my kids and other people) is really a big obstacle to parenting gently. For me it's problematic because focusing on whether behaviors, feelings, thoughts, etc. are right or wrong (or whatever I may label them) really gets in the way of being aware and listening, and thus gets in the way of growing and meeting needs, and gets in the way of responding to my kids with compassion.

I felt I was taking a huge, huge risk the day I decided I wasn't going to stop myself from yelling anymore. I thought I had tried everything else to stop yelling and it didn't work, so instead of trying to not yell I was just going to observe myself. I decided that instead of trying to stop myself from yelling, I would simply notice what I was thinking and feeling without judging whether it was good or bad and without trying to stop myself. I hoped that in doing so I would uncover some understanding or wisdom that would help me change. It felt like a huge risk because I was afraid that in not trying to stop myself I was giving myself permission to yell, and that in doing so I would become an even worse parent. I thought this because I, like so many people in American culture, have been conditioned to believe that people are essentially flawed and bad, that without control and shame and punishment people will act in evil and selfish ways. What happened, instead, was that when I decided to simply notice and to not try to stop or judge myself I immediately began to yell less. I felt relief, less pressure, and the urge to yell came less often and less quickly. As I began to notice my thoughts, feelings and needs without judging them I grew in understanding and patience and compassion. I learned I wasn't a bad person, I simply had feelings and needs that I ignored, I simply clung to beliefs, thoughts, assumptions, and perspectives that were inaccurate-and all this blocked awareness of what was really going on and prevented me from responding in a compassionate way. I learned that focusing on 'right' vs. 'wrong' or other such labels got me nowhere, but that my heart will show me the way if I only pause, let go, and listen (to myself and to others). My true nature is compassion. I was never flawed or bad, I was only told that I was and believed it. I also learned that I can trust my children to grow and learn what they need to know to make their way in the world, it just takes them time to do so. What freedom these realizations brought me! Yes, sometimes I do fall back into old patterns and yell, but it is now so much easier to see it and simply let it go. And we're all okay even still. No one has died, everyone here is growing in gentleness and compassion. And when we have our moments of not being compassionate and aware, it's okay. That's part of life. Life includes it all-pain, joy, suffering, contentment, happiness, sadness, ease, frustration. It's all part of it, and it's neither good nor bad. It is what it is. Each moment, each interaction, each behavior-it is what it is. When I can see that, I am free to respond gently and compassionately because I don't feel afraid or threatened.
WuWei's Avatar WuWei
08:29 PM Liked: 28
#62 of 203
12-27-2005 | Posts: 11,071
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Sledg,

This is the most profoundly insightful post I have ever read on MDC. Where can this post be most visible? I want to copy it to every forum: TAO, Spirituality, Personal Growth, Toddlers, Childhood Years, Parenting Issues, etc. I believe Everyone would benefit from this message of unconditional acceptance and awareness of Self.

Seriously.

Pat
Magella's Avatar Magella
09:01 PM Liked: 27
#63 of 203
12-27-2005 | Posts: 2,445
Joined: Apr 2004


I have no idea where it would be most helpful. I put it here because this really was what helped me yell a lot less. Where do you think it would help?
WuWei's Avatar WuWei
09:21 PM Liked: 28
#64 of 203
12-27-2005 | Posts: 11,071
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The Childhood Years. I can't even go there without feeling sad for the kids. They are so, so JUDGED for their behaviors. Maybe as an invite to GD. You can be our Ambassador.

ETA: Please.

Pat
ilex's Avatar ilex
10:00 PM Liked: 12
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12-27-2005 | Posts: 1,548
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I love you Sledg.
angela&avery's Avatar angela&avery
12:11 AM Liked: 10
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12-28-2005 | Posts: 2,438
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thank you for your reply sledg, it all makes sense to me in hindsight, its just trying to remember everything in the moment, you know? I absolutely think a lot of my frusteration and yelling is like what you said,


"example: I often wanted to control my kids and their behavior because I was afraid that their behavior meant I was a bad mother or doing something wrong as a mother, and I needed reassurance that I was a good (enough) mother.)"


I think that I am always concerned about my kids behavior and it certainly does validate me as a good mother when I "control" their behavior... which I can see is just rediculous bc they are just kids and if they are loved and trusted and nurtured, and listened to, they will be fine.... and they will do things they aren't "supposed" to because they have to make mistakes to learn from them and figure it all out...... and thats ok ....... I know that...... but why cant I stop and recognize their needs....why cant I just see that he feels Im not listening to him and that makes him upset? It makes me so sad to think I made him feel that way, but I lose all empathy when I get frusterated. I dont think my parents EVER took into consideration how we felt about as kids. It was just we did what we were told bc they said so. My mom rarely played with us, did crafts, went bikeriding, swimming, for a walk, to the park... she was so uninvolved, I entertained myself ALL THE TIME. I wish that it wasnt so hard for me to break away from the not listening to their needs part when Im upset or in conflict with my kids. I have broken away from everything else from my childhood that I dont like, except for this. You know, of course he is upset bc he feels im not listening, he is tired and doesnt feel well. Of course my dd is feeling out of control bc growing up is scary and there arent enuff choices, or too many choices .... of course she doesnt want to go to bed bc big brother isnt home and she is lonely in her room without him....(which btw I NOTICED tonight!!!!! and she is now asleep.... I did not lose it and yell.. though I was firm)
loon13's Avatar loon13
12:32 AM Liked: 12
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12-28-2005 | Posts: 926
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellasmum
I love you Sledg.
:

I keep coming back to this thread to reread your replies, sledg.



Quote:
Originally Posted by angela&avery
Of course my dd is feeling out of control bc growing up is scary and there arent enuff choices, or too many choices .... of course she doesnt want to go to bed bc big brother isnt home and she is lonely in her room without him....(which btw I NOTICED tonight!!!!! and she is now asleep.... I did not lose it and yell.. though I was firm)
Yay! That's a step, isn't it? And I can see from your post how empathetic your are being towards your children.
angela&avery's Avatar angela&avery
12:49 AM Liked: 10
#68 of 203
12-28-2005 | Posts: 2,438
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loon13


Yay! That's a step, isn't it? And I can see from your post how empathetic your are being towards your children.

ilex's Avatar ilex
05:59 AM Liked: 12
#69 of 203
12-28-2005 | Posts: 1,548
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I also want to add to this that losing the moment and feeling like I need to control the behavior always comes from the "other" voices in my head...my mom, my dad, my sister, my children's dad, my childhood, parenting "experts", society in general, my insecurities...and as Sledg has said if you stop, pause and listen you will find yourself in their somewhere, and I almost always find that that is the voice I most need to hear. That is the voice that knows my kids, knows how ridiculous and empty all those other voices tend to be, especially when it comes to my knowing how to respond to and love my children. My instinct is so buried beneath all of these learned responses and it is bloody hard to shut them up, but if you can and you can HEAR yourself you will know what gibberish the others speak.

And in moments of stress it is so hard, and when those other voices are actually people in the flesh, but I have found that when I stop and listen especially in those moments, it is like I have passed through and gone over to the other side. It is so rewarding, so wonderful to make MY voice the one that comes through loud and clear. And to feel that this voice is important and valid. It is amazing to me that we are so insecure when our children trust us so deeply and without question when we are listening to our selves.

Just thought I would throw that out there because I know how impossible it is sometimes to get lost in what others think you should be doing or how your children should be behaving and how sometimes it is hard to separate your own beliefs from those shoved down your throat your whole life.
writermommy's Avatar writermommy
02:19 PM Liked: 0
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12-28-2005 | Posts: 1,300
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I have the yelling problem too. Only for me, it has nothing to do with cleaning or "listening" but with the constant fighting between my oldest 2 children. It is completely ridiculous and hateful at times. I really can't take it anymore. I just yelled at them about 10 minutes ago and I am still angry. Mainly, its my oldest being mean and calling names to my 5 yo that starts the fighting. Today, she started and my 3 yo joined in, repeating the awful things that were coming out of the 7 year old's mouth. I lost it. Not only are they completely mean to each other, but now they are teaching the baby the same. I told them if they can't get along, they are not allowed to play together for the day. I just can't take the mean, awful things they say to each other. I'm at my wits end and I just don't know how to deal with this situation. Leaving them to work it out isn't an option. It only gets worse.
mamachandi's Avatar mamachandi
03:23 PM Liked: 0
#71 of 203
12-28-2005 | Posts: 1,529
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Quote:
Originally Posted by writermommy
I have the yelling problem too. Only for me, it has nothing to do with cleaning or "listening" but with the constant fighting between my oldest 2 children. It is completely ridiculous and hateful at times. I really can't take it anymore. I just yelled at them about 10 minutes ago and I am still angry. Mainly, its my oldest being mean and calling names to my 5 yo that starts the fighting. Today, she started and my 3 yo joined in, repeating the awful things that were coming out of the 7 year old's mouth. I lost it. Not only are they completely mean to each other, but now they are teaching the baby the same. I told them if they can't get along, they are not allowed to play together for the day. I just can't take the mean, awful things they say to each other. I'm at my wits end and I just don't know how to deal with this situation. Leaving them to work it out isn't an option. It only gets worse.
just wanted to comment. My sister and I are 1 1/2 yrs apart and we used to fight like crazy-one time when my mom got fed up she made us write down all the things we liked or thought were good/cool about our sister. we then got to read what the other wrote- it was alot of fun and we stopped fighting...for the day- good luck!
Magella's Avatar Magella
03:42 PM Liked: 27
#72 of 203
12-28-2005 | Posts: 2,445
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angela&avery
why cant I stop and recognize their needs....why cant I just see that he feels Im not listening to him and that makes him upset? It makes me so sad to think I made him feel that way, but I lose all empathy when I get frusterated. I dont think my parents EVER took into consideration how we felt about as kids.
Well, there you go. You can't listen when you haven't been listened to, you can't give empathy when you're still in need of it yourself. You just can't give what you haven't got. But you can listen to yourself, and you can give yourself empathy, and then you will be able to listen to your kids and give empathy to your kids. It takes practice. Which it sounds like you're doing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by angela&avery
Of course my dd is feeling out of control bc growing up is scary and there arent enuff choices, or too many choices .... of course she doesnt want to go to bed bc big brother isnt home and she is lonely in her room without him....(which btw I NOTICED tonight!!!!! and she is now asleep.... I did not lose it and yell.. though I was firm)
See, you can do it. And each moment you do listen and give empathy (to yourself and your kids) and handle things without yelling, the more likely you'll be to handle things this way the next time. Practice does not make perfect, but it can make a pretty good habit.
writermommy's Avatar writermommy
05:04 PM Liked: 0
#73 of 203
12-28-2005 | Posts: 1,300
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chandraj
just wanted to comment. My sister and I are 1 1/2 yrs apart and we used to fight like crazy-one time when my mom got fed up she made us write down all the things we liked or thought were good/cool about our sister. we then got to read what the other wrote- it was alot of fun and we stopped fighting...for the day- good luck!
The writing thing might work. I have tried having them say something nice to each other in the past. Unfortunately, when they are angry, they will say something like, "You draw really good" but in a passive-aggressive, nasty tone of voice. I found that just aggravated me more. :
rianna's Avatar rianna
06:28 PM Liked: 0
#74 of 203
12-28-2005 | Posts: 278
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Thank you all so very much.... This thread envoked some serious emotion in me.

I am a yeller.... I yell at my girls. My mother yelled... I know this and still I have such a hard time controlling it. My beautiful Aurora (and just like the original poster she will be 4 in March) is having a very hard time. She is alwyas being told no or "shhh, dont wake your sister" or "why would you do that, whats wrong with you". I hate this and in response to a few different things she has become a terror. She yells at me and talks back, wont listen and acts crazy. She has a new sister and we have moved out of grandmas house without daddy (although he seems to be here all the time) so with all the changes and new baby I see her trying so hard to get attention. I try but how much can I do? My poor baby.
I have to stop yelling.... I yell at my oldest girl as well... now I have yet another daughter and this is not what I want to teach them. Mothers and daughters .... what can I say.

I am so glad I have read this thread and I will continue on my path and try, try, try not to yell. I so need to break these patterns.

Thanks mamas!
dillonandmarasmom's Avatar dillonandmarasmom
02:28 AM Liked: 10
#75 of 203
12-29-2005 | Posts: 3,350
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I read through the help me stop yelling posts. Your responses really struck a chord in me. I tried what you said you did, not trying to stop yelling, but listening to myself and my feelings.



I had the most peaceful and loving day today. My kids enjoyed it, too. They even enjoyed EACH OTHER!

So, thank you for putting into words what I probably new underneath all this frustration and desperation! I and my kids appreciate it so much
MrsRoss's Avatar MrsRoss
02:57 AM Liked: 25
#76 of 203
12-29-2005 | Posts: 201
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:

I don't have a problem with yelling at ds (just yet). He's only 12 months. I do have a big problem with yelling at dh, and I also tend to do it in front of ds. So I'm subbing to this thread so I can re-read!
Magella's Avatar Magella
11:36 AM Liked: 27
#77 of 203
12-29-2005 | Posts: 2,445
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom
I had the most peaceful and loving day today. My kids enjoyed it, too. They even enjoyed EACH OTHER!
I am so happy for you!
angela&avery's Avatar angela&avery
11:39 AM Liked: 10
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12-29-2005 | Posts: 2,438
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Well, I talked to dh a little last night bc yesterday I had a great day of not yelling, and then he came home with a crappy attitude. So later after the kids were in bed, I told him that it was ok to be firm ( i had gone to the gym adn i guess the kids wouldnt go to bed so he ended up yelling at them), but that saying what he needed to say did not need to be yelled, and that it is very frusterating to work all day long not to yell, and for him to come in with a swoop and start right in being irritated at every request. Now, when he yells he just kind of hollers, he is not mean and gruff and in their face or anything, its just louder, so its not like he is nasty about it (thank goodness).. he just gets louder....but I still dont think its necessary.

Also wanted to add that the idea of giving myself empathy gives me a kind of peace inside. Just thinking..."I deserve some empathy for not having been listened to as a kid, for not being part of decision making as a child".. it makes me feel better......
angela&avery's Avatar angela&avery
11:35 AM Liked: 10
#79 of 203
12-30-2005 | Posts: 2,438
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how is everyone doing? I m doing ok. Im really trying to stop and think before I yell. It is very hard but I feel Im making some progress really understanding where they are coming from rather than getting upset bc they wont cooperate.
oneotamama's Avatar oneotamama
02:04 PM Liked: 0
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12-30-2005 | Posts: 2,035
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Sledg, they should pay you for your wisdom. Seriously.

You don't know how many times I have stopped in the heat of the moment in our house now and asked myself, "What is really needed here?" If I have a whiney child, what do they need? If I am feeling "off" what do I need? I find that if I'm annoyed w/dh, I'll take it out on the dc b/c they're in the house w/me while dh is gone. What do I need? I need to talk about something w/dh, not yell at my kids or be annoyed.

I also have been really evaluating my own needs. Where do I fit into this circle of family? Who am I? Not just as a mother, but as a person. And as a wife. It's my dh's and I's 5th wedding anniversary today. My SIL has volunteered to babysit on Sunday so we can spend the day together. I'm really anxious about it. How sad is that? But I don't know what we'll talk about or do w/out the kids. Who am I? What will I want to talk about if it's not the kids? Messed up huh? Makes me realize that it's no wonder I am feeling grouchy when all I live for is my dc. Not that it's wrong, but there needs to be more...at least for me. I'm a SAHM and not that I want to go to work, but I need something for myself.

Okay, I've rambled enough. I love this thread. Keep it coming.
Magella's Avatar Magella
03:11 PM Liked: 27
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12-30-2005 | Posts: 2,445
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Liz, isn't it wonderful in a scary and "duh, no wonder" kind of way? The gift you have given yourself is that now you recognize some of your needs and can do something to help yourself feel better, which will help you understand your children better and better meet their needs. Oh, and to be honest I didn't come up with all this wisdom on my own, though I am happy to pass it on and hope it helps others. I did a lot of reading to learn this, and a lot of putting what I read to the test in my own life to see if it really made sense.

Angela, I'm glad your doing all right and that you're finding some success in pausing to look at your own needs and your kids' needs. This is really hard work, and you are very strong and courageous to do it. I would like to just offer this suggestion that helps my dh and I connect and support each other so that my crankiness doesn't set off his crankiness or vice versa so that we're both yelling-I'm talking about evenings after he's been at work all day since this is the tough time for us. Literally, when he walks in the door at the end of the day he gets tackled by kids and then the two of us take a few moments to hug and kiss and ask each other how our days went, no matter what is going on or how bad our moods are. We will tell the kids, if they are trying to talk or get our attention, to please wait because we are having an important conversation and we will be done in a minute. This helps because in this way we both have the opportunity to be heard and to receive empathy. Often this is all it takes to keep us calm for the evening, sometimes because then one of us realizes that the other needs more support so we step up to give it and sometimes just because it gives us the emotional release we need. Once in awhile if my day is really, really bad in a way that makes me want to press my face against the window watching for dh desperate for relief, I know that he'll need some warning that it's that bad and I'll call him at work before he leaves. When he answers I say "You have a collect call from h*ll, will you accept the charges?". This does two things, first and most importantly it makes us laugh and secondly it tells him in no uncertain terms that I really, really need him to walk in the door ready to take over in a calm way to get us through the night. It's not easy parenting together at the end of the day when you're totally frazzled and at the end of your rope.

To all of you working so hard, please remember to laugh. That sense of humor is so incredibly important, and laughter is such great medicine.

Also, I checked out a book UUMom recommended somewhere (can't remember which thread) called "When Your Child Drives You Crazy" by Eda LeShan and it's a good book. I like a lot of what she has to say, a lot of it is stuff I that I think can help me with yelling. I still work on this every day myself. Just yesterday I had a tantrum because the house was still an unbelievable mess after Christmas (relatives bought waaaaay too many toys) and the kids just wouldn't help me put things away no matter how often I asked or which things I asked for help with-and they kept taking out toys. I got totally overwhelmed, totally lost my perspective, and yelled something like "I NEED SOME HELP!!! I CANNOT CLEAN THIS BY MYSELF WHILE YOU KEEP TAKING OUT TOYS!!! WE WILL NOT GO TO NANA'S HOUSE UNTIL THIS HOUSE IS CLEAN BECAUSE I CANNOT STAND THE IDEA OF COMING HOME TO THIS MESS!!!" (now, I was talking about the downstairs which really doesn't take long to clean-especailly since all I wanted was to pick up toys and stuff them under the christmas tree.) Well, the place got clean and I got help, and I apologized for yelling but said I was not sorry for feeling angry because I really did need help and I really did ask nicely. I realize now that I could have gotten down on their level (physically), looked into their eyes, and explained how I was feeling and asked them to help in more specific ways-and they probably would have understood and cooperated, but at the very least we all would have felt better. Today is another day to start fresh. And I have come a long, long way so far-so I'm not discouraged, but hopeful and committed to doing better.
oneotamama's Avatar oneotamama
05:07 PM Liked: 0
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12-30-2005 | Posts: 2,035
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Sledg--for some reason your posts make me teary eyed. I wish you were my neighbor!! You could keep me stable!
Magella's Avatar Magella
04:25 PM Liked: 27
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12-31-2005 | Posts: 2,445
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Liz, it would be great fun to be your neighbor, but I couldn't keep you stable. One cannot remain stable, and even if you could only you could do it, and even if you could it wouldn't be any fun. (ETA: That may sound weird. What I mean is that part of the beauty and wonder of living is experiencing the full range of our human emotions. To remain in an unchanging, stable state might seem appealing at times, but to leave out part of the range of human emotion seems...like missing out, a little empty. Of course, I know what you mean by stable isn't exactly unchanging and limited, but more like moderated. Now I've rambled enough to feel as though I can taste my foot.)

To all you ladies struggling, I want to recommend two books. They are written by a Zen teacher, but do not have an overwhelmingly Buddhist aura about them and I love them because they make so much sense and offer a different view of ourselves and life than popular culture conditions us to have. They are: There Is Nothing Wrong with You : Going Beyond Self-Hate and Time-Out For Parents: A Guide To Compassionate Parenting, both by Cheri Huber (Time-Out For Parents is co-authored by Melinda Guyol, MFT). These books are all about listening to your internal dialog, your needs, your feelings and knowing that, well, there's nothing wrong with you. Non Violent Communication is also an excellent resource for this.

Blessings to all!

Oh, and what did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor?

"Make me one with everything."

Then the hot dog vendor says "That'll be $1.50". The Dalai Lama gives him a $20 bill, and the hot dog vendor sticks the $20 in his pocket and goes about his business. The Dalai Lama says "What about my change?" and the hot dog vendor says......

"Change must come from within."

(everyone needs stupid jokes sometimes!)
abandbunk's Avatar abandbunk
07:28 AM Liked: 0
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01-11-2006 | Posts: 322
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WOoo HOooo I hope I will not be hated for bumping this thread a week after it "died" lol, I just ran across it someone linked it from the GD boards and I am in love , I sooo badly want to quit yelling, it makes no one feel good including myself, not to mention it doesn't even work : , ds just feels bad and so do I. THank you thank you thank you to everyone that responded, I really really hope we can keep this thread going! I could REALLY use the support right now, as I'm sure could other people!
oneotamama's Avatar oneotamama
01:36 PM Liked: 0
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01-11-2006 | Posts: 2,035
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abandbunk
WOoo HOooo I hope I will not be hated for bumping this thread a week after it "died" lol, I just ran across it someone linked it from the GD boards and I am in love , I sooo badly want to quit yelling, it makes no one feel good including myself, not to mention it doesn't even work : , ds just feels bad and so do I. THank you thank you thank you to everyone that responded, I really really hope we can keep this thread going! I could REALLY use the support right now, as I'm sure could other people!
No problem w/me....this is all good stuff
loon13's Avatar loon13
03:58 PM Liked: 12
#86 of 203
01-11-2006 | Posts: 926
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We live in an attached house, so when neighbors yell we can hear it.

Today I heard my neighbor screaming at her little boy and the little boy sobbing. (Unfortunately, this is a frequent occurrence.)

But today it really hit me that oh, gosh, what must I sound like when I am yelling?

For a fleeting moment, I thought of keeping a tape recorder around so I could catch myself on tape if I happened to yell. But then I realized I don't need the tape. I can picture it very well, in detail and in stereo, all in my head. A very scary picture of me with voice at full volume and dd crying.

I'm going to remember that picture the next time I'm tempted to yell. Doesn't mean I might still not be upset at whatever might cause me to want to yell. Also doesn't mean that I might still not make mistakes.
But maybe it will give me that moment to pause, take a deep breath, and think of a better way to approach than yelling.
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar IdentityCrisisMama
02:53 PM Liked: 51267
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01-17-2006 | Posts: 10,677
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a bump for me to read.
tekslilbrat's Avatar tekslilbrat
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#88 of 203
01-19-2006 | Posts: 43
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I just found this thread and relate to soo much of it. I am a yelller and so was the rest of my family. My boyfriend on the other hand is cool, calm and barely ever yells. We have 7 kids between us 3 his, 3 mine and one ours. His 12 year old is the I know it all and eveyone has to listen to me almost teen who drives everyone in the house crazy. He has been mean and nasty to eveyone including his dad and it really gets me going His youngest is hyper off the scale which gets to me ad well as I also have a 10 year old with ADHD and a 7 year old who thinks she rules the roost. I find myself yelling alot when they are all here to try and maintain some control because I feel like things are completely out of control when they are all together. I feel like a bad mother and that my kids can do nothing right and his kids do no wrong. Mabe I am overthinking things and am letting things get out of control in my head but it makes me want my kids in control even more so I yell. This thread has helped me sooo much that I know I can lock myself away with my kids and tend to only them andtheir needs rather than get upset or angry at everyone. It is overwhelming sometimes but I am going to take everything into consideration from now on and really try to focus on their and my needs rather than yell. THANK YOU TO ALL WHO GAVE SUCH GREAT ADVICE!!!! Gotta grab my mischievous lil guy outta the cat food!! THANKS AGAIN!!!!
dharmamama's Avatar dharmamama
08:20 PM Liked: 0
#89 of 203
01-19-2006 | Posts: 4,447
Joined: Sep 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by cravenab00
They dont listen to me if I talk quietly, if I ask nicely etc...

I have no clue where to start. HELP!!!
The thing that I always remind myself is that if I yell, I train my kids to only listen when I yell.

I also remind myself that things really do go much more smoothly when I remain calm.

Namaste!
SabDoulaMommy's Avatar SabDoulaMommy
02:32 AM Liked: 0
#90 of 203
01-21-2006 | Posts: 201
Joined: Dec 2005
Gosh this could be my life. Except my kids are 2 yo twins. They really don't listen well, b/c they're 2. They fight b/c they are 2 & want what the other has. I feel like the past 2 years of always meeting their needs is just wearing thin & when are they going to start cooperating?

So I really believe in asking myself "what are my needs?" (Do I do it all the time? NO. or no follow-thru.)

Hugs to all you mamas out there. At least we're not alone.

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