Thanks so much for the responses.
USAmma, I'm glad to hear a "been there, done that." I think that some of my worry sometimes is that perhaps her aggression is not normal or that maybe I could be stopping it somehow magically. I do try to keep things very structured, and I have to admit that this business of it getting dark at 4pm is really kicking my butt. Getting her to sleep lately has been such a challenge that the nights seem to be getting longer and longer. Also, she has no interest in videos or anything like that, with the exception of Thomas the Tank Engine, which she wants on as background noise, but won't watch. (I hate to admit it, but there are sometimes when I'm jealous of parents whose kids will become captivated by the tv.) I like the idea of the trampoline. I think I also need to put a ton of food out on the table and just let her serve herself. Lately she just wants to eat ALL the time, but not much, and I get tired of cooking and then seeing it just sit there.
Most of all, thank you for your perspective that this will pass. She's changed so much just in the past month or 2, and it's really blindsighted me. She used to be my little sidekick and we just sort of hung out together in a very calm and chill and gentle way. There was little to no crying, just lots of cuddling, eating, playing, walking, and boobie. And now this thing appeared out of nowhere, seemingly the day she turned 2. I just hope that on the other side of toddlerhood there is more fun.
angela&avery: I should have been more specific when I said she wasn't really talking. She says about 2 dozen words, and can sign maybe the same amount (she made up the signs as she went along). I feel like I know what she wants most of the time in terms of needs and wants and what she's generally thinking about. But what trips me up is, what is she thinking when she out of the blue walks up to a kid and smacks them? I wish I could understand. I ask her and she just smiles very coyly. She doesn't look angry or anything....And when I ask her to stop pinching my nipples and that we suck on the Buddha (she calls my breasts Buddha because I guess with my pregnant belly I look like, well, Buddha
), why does she keep doing it like I didn't say anything? She screamed early in the morning for about an hour because I put my breasts away and wouldn't let her play with them because I couldn't take it anymore.
It just seems liek every time I try to help her with something, like getting her toy trains on the track, it just isn't right, and she just screams at me and throws herself on the floor. But if I don't help, she freaks out too. I wish she could just TELL me what I'm to do, you know? But I don't know how to manifest that sort of thing in signs.
MsMoMpls: I like the idea of treating this as my problem. It's easier for me to cope with my being at fault versus something being amiss with her. I am trying to think how I can remedy ME, but I think I reach a dead end because I just feel so worn out. I wish I could be some of the mothers I know who relaly enjoy playing with their kids and feel fulfulfilled by motherhood, and I have to admit that I am so bored and tired of playing with DD from 8am to 9pm. I can't read, I can't talk on the phone, and can't do anything really that I might enjoy. She hates going outside in the snow unless I carry her, and at 35 lbs and me pg, it's getting to be less enjoyable. Chores used to really delight her, but now they just seem to stress her out when I have to help her. I wish I had more energy and interest to give her, but I am fresh out of ideas. When it's 3 degrees, dark, and we're carless in the country, it seems like Dr. Phil really is a fun, cool idea
So in a way I feel more calm about it being my problem. I imagine if I were my usual fit, energetic, not-tired self, and it were summertime, and I didn't have 2 properties, etc etc etc.....I'd be feeling like I was doing ok.
Maybe I just need to wait until the baby is out, the weather is better, we have money for another car....Hey, at least she started the potty thing all by herself about 6 weeks ago (she just woke up one morning and said pee, we put her on the toilet, and that was it, no more dipes ever again...she does everything like that. No practice, just one day starts doing it. Kind of weird, huh?)
And if anyone can think of any, are there any books that might help me through this? I have no which ones are worth looking at.
Thank you all.