HELP! Just lost it with my 3 year old. - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-24-2006, 04:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I usually don't yell. Raise my voice sometimes, but not yell. Just completely lost it.


DD is 3. Breaks down at everything. THe girls were getting yogurt drinks from the refridgerator. I told my oldest she could get a pink one after my youngest got one. My youngest hands her a blue one and my oldest of course goes into a tantrum.

This happens multiple times throughout the day. My oldest just starts SCREAMING about the littlest thing. This was obviously just the straw that broke my back.

I yelled, and threw them up in their rooms for five minutes so they/I could cool down. (more so I could cool down).


I know it's the age, but HOW DO I DEAL WITH IT????????????

Tammy
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Old 02-24-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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Just sending some empathy. Not sure how to deal. I was having an awful week last week, and I dealt with it by going away for 24 hrs (thank you, dh). Sometimes it's all just too much. Do you have any way to do something relaxing all by yourself? That might help. Parenting is not easy, and GD is especially tough sometimes. I think we set really high standards for our own behavior, and then feel guilty when we're not perfect. And not all of us are naturally patient and calm and it's a constant effort. But hang in there. You're a good mama and you're trying. You don't have to be perfect.
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Old 02-24-2006, 04:31 PM
 
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Hugs to you! It happens to the best of us. Think of it this way, now you can model ways to apologize and patch up a relationship after losing your temper.

Mommy to kids

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Old 02-24-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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Being a mom is hard. Being the mom of a 3 year old is really hard. I'm guessing that it's really irritating and frustrating and stressful to hear screaming all day long, that you really want your home to be a more peaceful place. You are not the only mom to run out of ideas and patience and inner peace and just lose it.

My oldest, who is now 6, has always screamed about every little thing that does not go her way. She's getting better now, she doesn't have full tantrums over things now but she still tends to immediately start to freak out and yell or snap at people or start crying as soon as things don't go her way. I think she does this because she feels things so intensely. She goes from calm to very upset in just seconds. It's very difficult for her to remain calm enough to think of a solution or listen to me or realize that I'm trying to help her or find another way to express herself. I have found that it helps, when I see it coming, to look right in her eyes (if possible) and say calmly and firmly "LET ME HELP YOU." Or gesture with my hands, in a slow down kind of motion (yk, palms down, arms moving down) and say "whoa....let's work it out. Talk to me." When she was younger, around age 3, I had no idea how to handle it. I have since learned that it takes them time to learn to express themselves other ways, and that putting a lot of pressure on my kids to stop screaming without taking the time to listen and let them know I'm on their side just doesn't help at all. My oldest had to learn to not get so carried away with her emotions, she had to learn that she's safe no matter how intense their emotions feel. That came with maturity and with my helping her learn to relax and with my listening to her and empathizing with her and then with working on problem solving together.
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Old 02-24-2006, 05:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all. I'm calmer now.

Sledg... sounds like my dd. It's part of the issue. I mean at 2 she would cry over books...things like eggs breaking, pumpkins being carved, dog eating a flower, etc. We had to stop and watch a movie at store at that age, b/c a dog got caught by the dog catchers and she started bawling. ...had to watch until the dog got rescued.

She has made headway over the last year... she will state, I'm mad... I'm NOT happy. So slow expression of emotion, but yah.... I just couldn't handle it today. (doesn't help that my 2 year old doesn't sleep still, so I'm always running a pint of sleep behind). She is very emotional, very deep thought sort of person. It's just the daily bawling and 0 - 60 escalation that gets draining.

The time to get away is nice...but I just had my mom out here for 2 weeks, so I had time off...that's probably the part also taxing my emotions... less time now.

Tammy
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Old 02-24-2006, 05:15 PM
 
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Quaz Hang in there. I think you are feeling normal frustration especially for someone with 2 so close in age.

sledg--Great post, I learned a lot from it.
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Old 02-24-2006, 05:37 PM
 
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gotta love sledg

Just wanted to say I hear ya. Your kiddos are close in age. Mine are 2 and 4 adn it is very hard sometimes. 1 and 3 was SUPER hard. Its getting better. Now they play, but now they fight.....

Over. Everything.

I dont know the answer. Things are better when we are busy and have more time outside (cant wait for warmer weather)...when we do activities and go places. I have a scrapbooking day coming htis saturday 12noon - 1030pm!!!!

Im so happy to have the day off, I just cant wait. I cant remember the last time I had so much time to myself with friends. i think for me, this will help my patience...

Can you find something for you? I go the gym two nights a week when dh gets home , its not easy to get out of the house, but its worth it when I do. I also work all day tues (my mom watches teh kids) and thurs morning... we need the money, but it also gives me a break...

Time away definately makes the heard grow fonder.....
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Old 02-24-2006, 07:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by quaz
I mean at 2 she would cry over books...things like eggs breaking, pumpkins being carved, dog eating a flower, etc. We had to stop and watch a movie at store at that age, b/c a dog got caught by the dog catchers and she started bawling. ...had to watch until the dog got rescued.
Oh, she's going to be such a wonderful, caring adult! If she's this sensitive and empathetic already, think of the good she will do the world as an adult.

Mommy to kids

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