OMG, I just saw my first SuperNanny episode - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-28-2006, 01:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The NAUGHTY CORNER? The kids are totally acting out to get their parents' attention. The parents are supposed to put them in the "naughty corner" as a punishment. Of course what ends up happening is that the kids inevitably take off running and the parents are supposed to chase them around the house and keep physically putting them back. Um, hello? What is that accomplishing, except that the kids are still getting the negative attention they were gunning for in the first place? Seriously, do people really do this? I'm completely floored and nauseous. These poor kids are so desperate for their parents' attention, and what they're getting is dropped on their butts to cry in a corner until they apologize to their parents. I am so sad for these kids, and for all the kids of the parents who are going to take this cr@p as expert advice and implement it

The nanny did have some good insight for this family, but I am seriously horrified at this "solution" she gave them.

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Old 03-28-2006, 01:09 AM
 
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I am troubled by it too, but than I am VERY troubled about the over all situation.

I started to really think about it, and seeing as they have One Week to remedy problems that started at birth (more than likely) maybe it's not so bad.

Sometimes, you need to take dramatic measures to get things settled and than you have some ground to start working from. kwim?

I watched an episode of Nanny 911 the other day, and the poor little baby (about 4 years old) was so deprived of his mother’s touch, that he seemed almost feral (sp). The nanny needed to restrain him to keep him from hurting himself and than once she had him calm she was able to talk to him.

Mind you that family was one of the saddest I had ever seen. I hope that in retrospect, someone called CAS to monitor the mother.
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Old 03-28-2006, 01:57 AM
 
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I don't agree with a lot of stuff on those shows, but we watch them regularly. I guess part of it is I like seeing what other families are like, how they live, what kinds of homes they have. But for all the somewhat useless advice, there are some good things. That Nanny 911 episode with the mom who didn't touch her kids, and taunted them, and sent the girl to her room because she wanted a hug-- I'm glad the nanny stated very strongly on national TV that the mom's behavior was not okay. Who knows? Maybe there are other parents out there who needed to hear that, because not all of us grew up in nurturing or functional households. I liked how she told the mom and dad that the reason the kids were so disrespectful is because the parents were being disrespectful to them and teaching them that disrespect was okay. I felt so bad and hopeless about that family. They had a nice home but an awful sitatuation with the mom.

I'm not trying to totally defend the show but it does have some good points. They teach that yelling and spanking are not okay, and that is something that people need to hear.

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Old 03-28-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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I actually like watching with my dh because it opens up the doors of conversation about discipline and how we want our family to be. I can slip in ideas that are more gentle, and we talk about how NOT to end up at a crisis point in the first place. It's really productive for us.
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Old 03-28-2006, 11:44 AM
 
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I stopped watching that show when she taught a mom her sleep solution. It was so upsetting to watch I had to turn it off. This baby was screaming and crying in his crib and the mom was supposed to sit in the floor and ignore him. It was heartwrenching.
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Old 03-28-2006, 11:49 AM
 
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I saw this episode. the mom was a peice of work. I was glad the nanny came into that home, but truthfully I don't think the mom cared a bit not to mention it looked like they had serious marital problems not just lacking parenting skills. though I have to give kudos to that stepfather, what a guy!

eta-I guesss I didn't know there was another nany show. the one I saw was Nanny 911.

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Old 03-28-2006, 11:50 AM
 
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It's just a different culture's version of time outs. I hate using the word "naughty" though. When children are old enough to listen and have some self-control, I think time-outs can work, and are helpful if used properly and infrequently (ie. we have a time-out location in the kitchen which is a stool by the window). But the negative attention lavished on the kids on those nanny shows is ridiculous (I used to be a nanny for 4 1/2 years, and used time outs maybe a 1/2 dozen times during that entire time). With the frequency they're used on those shows, it's obvious the technique is not working, and certainly not teaching the kids anything useful.

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Old 03-28-2006, 11:56 AM
 
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I was always blase' about Supernanny and Nanny911 until about two weeks ago when Supernanny condoned this woman's grabbing the child by the arms and shaking her and then the nanny did it, too! I mean, she wasn't throwing the child around but the shaking was vigorous enough to get me thinking it could qualify as child abuse.
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Old 03-28-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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I watch occasionally. I'm not a big fan of the nanny, but I do think most of her approaches are far better than what is going on in the homes before she arrives. The parents are clueless and the kids are miserable.

I like that she is a big advocate of each child getting some quality time with the parents, families having fun together, and also that hitting each other is not acceptable behavior.
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Old 03-28-2006, 01:08 PM
 
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I'll admit it. I watch both Nanny 911 and Supernanny every week. Although I must have missed the one where the Nanny condoned shaking a child.

Last night's episode was actually pretty mild compared to some of the other ones (as far as how the children were acting). I actually thought to myself that Nanny wasn't really needed at this house. I've seen episodes with toddlers swearing like a sailor, spitting in peoples' faces, hitting, kicking, smacking....once a 7 yr old girl went to pull a pot of BOILING water off the stove in a rage of anger. The kids last night were tame in comparison.

I can't stand the approach that they use for bedtime. Crying it out certainly isn't my style and my heart breaks for those kids. I love it when the mothers cave and go in to rescue their crying children (which isn't very often). Nanny inevitably rolls her eyes and thinks mom is a pushover.

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Old 03-28-2006, 01:20 PM
 
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I watched that too. I can't stand the idea of calling a kid naughty. His BEHAVIOR may have been unacceptable, but the child is NOT naughty! I still haven't decided how I feel about time-outs, but I certainly won't call a time-out area a naughty corner.

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Old 03-28-2006, 01:24 PM
 
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I watched last nights episode. I do not watch every week but I do catch it now and then. What was that accomplishing? NOTHING. All those kids wanted was someone to pay attention to them. And the fact that she allowed that child to toss those books all over the place too me was mind blowing. My child wouldnt have been in the corner to start with but if he had the moment he threw that book he would have been moved from that situation and he would have picked up all the ones he threw. You make a mess you clean it up. Then when that little girl HIT her mother like that. At age 4 that just isnt ok. It was so sad how these kids were screaming for attention. So badly she had to strike her own mother. I also hate that word "naughty" <gag>
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Old 03-28-2006, 01:30 PM
 
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I saw that one last night. The whole naughty corner bothers me. They keep putting the child back again and again until they break their spirit enough so they sit there in a tearful daze and "apologize" at the end just to get out of their prison. It's horrible.

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Old 03-28-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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I had a hard time watching that show before I was pregnant but now I can't because it literally makes me :Puke everytime...

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Old 03-28-2006, 01:55 PM
 
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I only watch this very, very rarely, but I happened to see it last night (probably the 2nd or 3rd episode I've seen). I hate the whole "naughty corner" concept--I can understand a time-out space if it's time out NOT as a punishment (as in "Go to time out!"), but a place where the child can go if she needs to in order to help out work out her emotions and take a break from the situation.

But those forced "apologies" make me ill. The parents never *really* explain why they're upset with the child--it's always "I put you in the naughty corner because you were not listening/misbehaving" rather than, say, "I understand that you were frustrated that your brother took your crayons, but when you hit him it hurts and makes him feel bad. Do you remember when we talked about how bad you felt that time he hit you?" And the apology is just a coerced "get out of jail" card, rather than a real reflection of the child's feelings--at least that's how it looks to me.
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Old 03-28-2006, 04:08 PM
 
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While I do not use the term naughty.I do think that suppernanny has so good ideas. She encourages parents to play with their children. A shedule is used to give some order to the house.I know that my day runs better when we plan things.I also like the fact thaqt she gets the children involved in helping.She may not be the perfect solution but she is a vast improvement from the what the families where doing
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Old 03-28-2006, 05:17 PM
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I saw Nanny 911 once when it first came out and have never watched again on moral grounds; while I am not a fan of her methods, that is not my primary objection to the show. I am horrified that these children's personal issues and very raw emotions are being televised as entertainment. It is just such a violation of these kids. I understand that the parents consent, but I think it is horribly wrong of them to do so and, though I know my personal boycott won't change anything, I can not tacitly support it by watching the show.
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Old 03-28-2006, 05:47 PM
 
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I'm so very glad that I am not the only one who hates these shows. I just don't think that kids should be rewarded with something for good behavior, kinda bribing them I think, yes praise them, but don't bribe them. I was thinking I was a bad parent because I did not parent like the Nanny's.
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Old 03-28-2006, 05:49 PM
 
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All I can think about right now is the episode of Drawn Together with a SuperNanny type character- she put all the superheroes in the "naughty chair" and then none of them were available (because they couldn't get off the chair) when she did her evil plan to take over the world.

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Old 03-28-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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I don't watch every week, but once I heard her call the "naughty spot" the "cool down area"

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Old 03-28-2006, 06:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boobs
I stopped watching that show when she taught a mom her sleep solution. It was so upsetting to watch I had to turn it off. This baby was screaming and crying in his crib and the mom was supposed to sit in the floor and ignore him. It was heartwrenching.
oh isaw one like this.maybe even this one. it was so sad.

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Old 03-28-2006, 09:05 PM
 
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You know, I've watched them both, and while I totally hate Supernanny, I sometimes enjoy Nanny 911, depending on which nanny it is. They are admittedly totally into the punishment/reward thing, but what I do like is that on Nanny 911 they spend a lot of time talking about feelings and WHy the kids are acting out. The issues causing the problems are addressed. There is emphasis on relationships and reconnecting. I never see that on Supernanny, and I honestly don't think she's even that good with kids.

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Old 03-28-2006, 09:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ETW
I am horrified that these children's personal issues and very raw emotions are being televised as entertainment. It is just such a violation of these kids. I understand that the parents consent, but I think it is horribly wrong of them to do so and, though I know my personal boycott won't change anything, I can not tacitly support it by watching the show.
I wholeheartedly agree with you.

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Old 03-28-2006, 10:22 PM
 
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Somewhere around three thirty this morning when I was up with my (reflux) baby, I caught a few minutes of one of the Nanny shows. There was a "naughty" corner. While I'm not against having a little cool down - as in, "this situation is out of control, how about you and I both take a deep breath and then start over" it makes NO SENSE to me that she would advocate getting into a power struggle like this. Unless you are willing to physically hold a kid down, how exactly is this supposed to work? The kid in the show took all of about thirty seconds to figure out that calling it a "naughty corner" didn't mean it had some special powers to make her stay and THEN she started throwing everything she could grab. Using this particular technique seems to set up a power struggle.

I know sometimes you have to put your foot down about some things. Safety, for one. I get that. But (unless you sit on the kid and hold her down) you can't really MAKE a kid stay in a corner or say sorry and any kid knows it. It seems like it would just make an bad situation worse by adding in this whole battle of wills.
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Old 03-28-2006, 10:36 PM
 
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One thing (among many) that bugs me about this show is that people forget that it's entertainment. They don't realise that the miraculous change in behavior is primarily brought about by the magic of editing.
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Old 04-20-2006, 06:05 PM
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I was about to post a "The Nanny" thread and did a search first and decided to post here. I've watched her a few times. I've also heard Dr. Phil, make some negative comments about "those nanny shows" as he put it. He said something like "putting kids in corners is bad for their self-esteem". My little guy is just 16 months, so I'm bracing for the terrible two's. Actually, he's great right now so I'm hoping I wont' get a surprise! What is the GD way of dealing with kids acting out? I believe that 99.9% of the time, a child is either frustrated, hungry, tired or any given number of things to be acting out. I would much rather see the cause than the behaviour. However, I am still curious to know what ppl do.
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Old 04-20-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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I'll admit it...I somewhat enjoy Supernanny. I don't agree with all her theories, but she seems to emphasize getting down and playing with your kids, paying positive attention to them, and teaches the parents how to communicate respectfully and effectively without going off into screaming fits.

I don't like the idea of a 'naughty corner', but I modified it for my own uses

When situations are becoming overwhelming for DS 18 months, I say to him, "I think you need a cool down time" and we go to a less distracted area of the house where I hold him and soothe him, and gently remind him of the way he needs to act. I don't think that's a bad thing at all...
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Old 04-20-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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I don't know, I kind of like Supernanny. And I agree that the Naughty Corner is a different culture's interpretation of time out.

I think time out has its place. I wouldn't use it for my kid, but in some of those situations the kids are actually physically attacking the parents, biting, kicking, hitting, breaking glasses.

What would you do about that, other than something like a time out? Kids need to know they can't walk on their parents.
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Old 04-20-2006, 07:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melissel
The NAUGHTY CORNER? The kids are totally acting out to get their parents' attention. The parents are supposed to put them in the "naughty corner" as a punishment.
I know someone who has Social Services (CPS) involved in their home. I'm the first to admit that she's not a great mom. She spends a lot of time either on the computer or talking on the phone and totally ignores her kids, then yells at them because they've trashed the house (big surprise) while being ignored. They get very little attention from their mom.

So...a "respite worker" comes into the house to help her schedule her day and find strategies to cope. And, the very first thing she comes up with is...the "naughty step". The 4-year-old (who used to be one of the easiest to discipline children I've EVER seen - all he wanted was to please) who is already feeling like he doesn't matter and his mom doesn't care gets banished to the "naughty step" when he misbehaves. Maybe, just maybe, actually interacting with the boy, and paying some attention to him would be more effective...and kinder???

Anyway...I don't really like time outs, either...but the "naughty" thing just makes me insane. We do cool down time with dd, but she gets to decide if she wants us there or not.

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Old 04-20-2006, 07:32 PM
 
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I'm always amazed at how horrible these kids can be. How in heavens name did they get that way?

You always see an improvement in the kids by the end of the show...but, it isn't the 'naughty corner" that does it. It's the Nanny, who fixed the stupid parents in the first place, and now the parents are actually paying attention to the kids!

The episode that bugged me most was the three year old who wouldn't eat what the family was eating. His diet was totally innapropriate. BUT, the nanny spent so much time trying to FORCE the child to eat the family's food, that even I wanted to gag. I say, slowly introduce the food, and let him eat when he is ready. At least the food they wanted him to try was reasonable....(vegies, hamburgers) but, they kept forcing him to eat.
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