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What Do You Do In The Grocery Store

2K views 48 replies 39 participants last post by  AmberC 
#1 ·
How do/have you handle(d) an almost-2-year-old in the grocery store? He has hated to sit in the cart ever since he could walk. My ideal situation would be that he can walk around and follow me as long as he doesn't run off and as long as we can move from a certain area in a particular amount of time. Is this too much to ask?? I just cannot make shopping an all day thing and I can't give him more freedom than that - particularly in a place like Whole Foods where they are always so packed and have tiny aisles and such. He throws tantrums and pitches a fit if I try to get him to sit in the cart - even a car cart. I want to be very GD about this, but don't know how.

Any advice?
 
#3 ·
lol yup, too much to ask. sorry.
my suggestions:

1. don't take him. go when DH (or someone else) can watch him
2. go with someone else who can just be on DS duty, following him and redirecting him, etc.
3. wear him (sling? MT? wrap?)
4. bring some of his favorite toys to put in the cart so he'll wanna play in there and be willing to sit
5. go around lunch time, and let him eat his lunch in the cart. i'll typically bring some cheese, apple slices, etc. so he's distracted.
6. not sure if your WF has them, but some places have those fun car-carts that some kids enjoy. my son is a bit large for them now, but he still loves them.


good luck!! but yeah...a 2yo "walking beside you" in the store when it's just you trying to shop? no. no way. LOL
 
#4 ·
As has already been said, wearing my kids was always the best option at that age. Dd (16 months) is still fine with the cart at times. She seems to enjoy it.

However when ds was a little older than your dc, 2 1/2-3 we started getting him to "help" I would say. "Now I need to find bread (or milk or cuccumbers or whatever), can you show me where some bread is?" and he would look for the item. Now at nearly 6 he likes to hold the list and read off each item as we look for it then check it off.
 
#5 ·
I think that it is fine to have him ride on you or in the cart even if he does throw a fit about it, he can't be expected to keep up with you when all the cool things are at his level for him to have. If it is just the rule he will probably grow used to it quickly. I would try to engage him in talk and maybe feed him a snack that he loves to have while you shop. I found that keeping our grocery trips to one a week and going fast while keeping dd engaged worked the best. It is different for all kids though, some can take being in the cart for only small periods at a time and small shopping trips are better. For us, even now that she is 3, if we go on several small trips during the week she thinks that she is always in the cart but one a week with the rest of her time being free is okay with her.
 
#6 ·
What works for us is a special treat. There is a Starbucks at the front door of our store, so 3 YO DD gets a chocolate milk and a cookie at the beginning of the trip. That keeps her happy through most of a quick trip through the store. She also gets to pick a toy to take and she has a choice of locations: the car cart or the seat "so we can talk". If she really wants to get out and walk, then I start having her help buy picking stuff out and putting it into the cart. Besides that, I time trips to a good time of day, make them as quick as humanly possible, and make sure I maintain a running conversation with her. Of that, I suspect the conversation is the most important. If the trip went especially smoothly, I have been known to buy a balloon at the end of it as a reward, though I never promise that during the trip nor do I use it as a bribe.

With all of that, I think the really important comment from a PP is that GD doesn't mean the child always gets his/her way and is never unhappy. As I frequently say to the kids, "Sometimes life isn't fair and this is the way it needs to be".
 
#7 ·
STOP DROP AND ROLL No just kidding I drop everything pick them up and walk out. I had to do it twice and it worked. Now they know if they misbehave we leave and that goes for any where even if I miss out. My mil suggested that I should pinch them. Don't do it I had my three year old YELL STOP PINCHING ME.. Funny not really..

lots of love crissy
 
#8 ·
I started going to a different grocery store a bit further away- same chain but it's a bigger store - so it has the plus of having more organic stuff (for less than the health food stores) along with those carts that are buses, fire trucks, etc. Ds ( 3 1/2) and Dd (19 mos.) have the option of "driving" the vehicle or being worn. Ds always chooses to drive. Dd goes back and forth.
 
#9 ·
DD is allowed to walk quite a bit in the stores. She has a backpack with a handle on it (stuffed monkey) so I can hang on to her, which helps quite a bit. Lately she's obsessed with helping push the cart. I get lots of comments about who's doing all the work!

I do have a rule about keeping her hands to herself. When she gets too tempted by all the displays, she must ride either in the cart or my arms. It's her choice - keep her hands to herself or ride.

The other rule is that if she rides, she must do so calmly. I don't mind if she complains some, but she must NOT fight to get down or out of the seat. If she does, she must wear the seatbelt. It's a safety rule, and therefore not negotiable.

Sounds kind of strict, but I emphasize all the way through that it's her choice on how to behave. Honestly, the biggest key is that when she starts to have problems with self-control, we wrap up the trip. Pushing her beyond her limits does no one any good, and I stay very aware of that.

At 18 months, she's usually good for about a twenty minute trip.
 
#10 ·
Grocery Shopping with my ds, 17 months is the bane of my week right now
. He loathes the seat and only tolerates it for about 2 minutes. Sometimes he will sit in the car portion if dd (5) agrees to sit with him, but he wants to do EVERYTHING she does, so it is very tricky to then convince both kids that they LOVE being in the drivers seat....lots of comments from me along the lines of "whoa, don't forget the brakes, hey don't hit that lady...watch the corners...use your horn... Snacks work well sometimes, but once I bought a fancy organic kids sweet cereal in a pinch and he hated it and tried to (unsucessfully thankfully) dump it out of the cart while screaming. Very pleasant. My plans for future trips include:

A.) swearing off food and becoming a breathatarian, saving money, time and my sanity
B.) duping my cousin into coming over and telling her "I'll be right back...."
C.) calling my husband at work and asking him to pick up a couple (27) of things on his way home from work (every night)
D.) playing a card from my uncle's heavy drinkin' days and grab the first cart I see that is stacked with food and heading straight to the check-out....

Good luck to us all....
 
#11 ·
Thanks for all the good suggestions so far. Keep 'em coming!

Wearing him is not an option anymore. He's 25 lbs and I'm very petite. Just too heavy. I love the ideas about giving him his lunch or another treat - that may work very well. The "fun" carts worked for a while, but that was over quickly!

Someone mentioned leaving the store, does anyone else have success with that? I've considered it, but I'm afraid he would be all too happy to go and I'll end up shooting myself in the foot with that one! LOL.
 
#12 ·
Here's my take: Most of the time, kids throw fits in stores because they are bored and want to leave. Being proactive and entertaining them is the best bet. Of course, make sure you go to the store on a full stomach, rested, good mood, etc. To me, leaving when they throw a fit is teaching them that if they make me mad enough...they can get their way. Which is really the core behind a lot of whining and begging as they grow up.

When we go to the store...if they have those little car carts where they can pretend to drive...then I give dd the option of either sitting in the car part, or the cart part facing me. I explain to her that when she gets tired of sitting in the car and driving, she will then be moved to the cart and help me put items into the cart. We stop and get her a cookie to munch on while she drives and that entertains her for all of 5 minutes, then I give her a wipey to clean herself and the car which entertains her for another 5 mintues. When she's restless and wants out, she moves to the cart part facing me (which she has already been told in the beginning would be the next move) and as I pick stuff out I hand it to her to put in the buggy part. If she starts getting restless then I calmly explain to her that I know she's bored and ready to go, but that we have x amount of items left to get and she must be patient. After we get x amount of items we can go pay for out stuff. We count off the things we still need to get, I ask her to point out what we're looking for when she sees it. I hand her two items exactly the same and let her pick which one to put in the buggy, etc.

I do not ever give her what she wants for throwing a fit and leave the store.
 
#13 ·
My DS (18 months) loves, loves, loves to push the cart - to the point that I am holding onto the cart solely for the purpose of holding it back so he doesn't go careening down the aisle at top speed (and I steer, of course, so we don't just wander randomly around the store). Unfortunately, crowded stores are much harder for us to navigate like this, so I try to plan all shopping trips for non-peak hours. I'm also starting to figure out when some of our favorite stores have samples out for tasting, because DS loves to go all around the store trying one thing after another, and it also helps me figure out if there are things he might like to eat that I haven't tried feeding him yet.
 
#14 ·
My DS is 22 months, and would much prefer to "walk" as well. Walking, though, means running through the aisles at top speed, unstacking and restacking (or not) the contents of shelves, etc. So, unless there are two adults, one dedicated to supervising DS and making sure he doesn't hurt himself, someone else, or damage store goods, DS goes in the cart.

I have three strategies that have worked for us.

First, on the way to the store, I will repeat, over and over and over and over, "it's just Evan and mama today, so when we get to the store, you're going to ride in the cart. We can talk and sing and laugh and have snacks while you ride. You're going to ride in the cart today, the whole time we are in the store." I find that I don't have any trouble getting him into the cart if he is expecting to be there - if I don't communicate my expectations to him, though, he wails and turns into a slippery, writhing eel when I try to get him into the cart.

Second, we have a variety of snacks throughout the store. I peel an avocado from the produce aisle and he eats part of it (like an apple). The guy at the deli always gives him a slice of turkey. They have cookies at the bakery. There is always Veggie Booty.

I interact a lot with DS. I explain to him what we are getting, ask him to help me look for it, show it to him before I put it in the basket, etc. I sing and he boogies in his seat while I dance down the aisles. If we don't need anything in a particular aisle, we "race" to the end. It takes longer this way, which seems counterproductive, but it engages DS's attention and makes it easier for him to sit for that length of time.

I've not yet had a situation where I had to leave the store. There have certainly been times when DS has expressed frustration, but usually we can continue if I take the time to help him engage with something (me, snack, etc.). If he truly lost it, though, I would definitely cash it in and leave.
 
#15 ·
My now 25mo old will sit in all the car and special carts, and most the time the normal carts, too. We went through a period where she would throw a tantrum just getting in the cart and we would immediately leave.

Its funny - I've just tackled bringing both kids grocery shopping. There's only one store I can do it at where they hav e a little car thingie on the front, so I can put the baby in the carseat in the seat in front of me.
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sparkprincess
Thanks for all the good suggestions so far. Keep 'em coming!

Wearing him is not an option anymore. He's 25 lbs and I'm very petite. Just too heavy. I love the ideas about giving him his lunch or another treat - that may work very well. The "fun" carts worked for a while, but that was over quickly!

Someone mentioned leaving the store, does anyone else have success with that? I've considered it, but I'm afraid he would be all too happy to go and I'll end up shooting myself in the foot with that one! LOL.
I have left the store and gone out to the car until she is calm but then we go back in and finish our shopping. I don't have the option of having someone else watch her or a lot of time to leave and come back later so grocery shopping has always been a thing that we do until it is done. I will also only leave the store if the tantrum is a full blown out of control one. For a few minutes of fuss we stay and I explain that we are doing X right now and that either calms her down or she will experiment with her voice. I have found that for the most part people are okay with a little fuss and if they aren't they don't have kids and they just have to suffer through. I used to care more about other people without kids, but I have a life to and there are things that childless people do that are really annoying (like sex conversations and swearing in public). It can be very helpful to go during times when other moms are typically in the store so you aren't the only one with the loud child.
 
#17 ·
Tantrums at the groc are no fun
. My ds would kick & head butt me in the chest
: . Anyway, something that works for us is that I bought a lunch box (Superman because he loves super heros) and fill it with "surprises" (eg a juice, a baggie of snacks, a small toy --something that he hasn't seen for awhile in our toy rotation, otherwise, I'd go broke buying new toys
. He's not allowed to have his special box of surprises until he sits in the cart (yes, it's a form of bribery
: but it works). This is his SPECIAL cart box. Ds enjoys the surprise & specialness of the cart ride. He'll sit & snack and play with the little toy. Mind you, I still dash through groc shopping with lightning speed, but it buys me that time & provides the needed diversion. If he misbehaves in the cart, then I say that the special cart box will have to go away & that seems to work. The cart box gets really dramatized at home, too, when his dear sisters are told not to get into it as it's just for ds during his special cart trip (his sisters are 12 & 8, so they just smile & play along).
 
#18 ·
Coming back to add that it does get better, for those with younger toddlers. Yesterday my 3 YO and I tackled Vons, Costco, Trader Joe's and Ralphs, all in one morning. And she was great the whole time! I would never, ever have tried that a year ago though. And I wouldn't ever do it on a regular basis now either, it was just one of those days yesterday. She was ready to go on to Target but I decided that would be pushing our luck way to much and we went to lunch instead. And now everyone knows that I am not a great NFL shopper!
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mom2evan
Second, we have a variety of snacks throughout the store. I peel an avocado from the produce aisle and he eats part of it (like an apple). The guy at the deli always gives him a slice of turkey. They have cookies at the bakery. There is always Veggie Booty.
yep, it's all about snack spacing for us. pretty much the same scenario--croissant from the deli upon entry, slice of liverwurst at meat counter, booty for the middle isles and little grape tomatoes or blueberries from produce.
also, my dd is 2 and i've never let her out of the cart. perhaps it is un-GD but i didn't want to open that can of worms. it used to be all-sling all the time til she was about 16 mo now it's all cart. if she gets upset i'll hold her but i don't let her walk around.
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by poitzenlock
also, my dd is 2 and i've never let her out of the cart. perhaps it is un-GD but i didn't want to open that can of worms. it used to be all-sling all the time til she was about 16 mo now it's all cart. if she gets upset i'll hold her but i don't let her walk around.
We follow pretty much the same thing here. DS (20 months) has been out of the cart only a couple times that I can think of - one of them was when DP played with him while I was picking out a birthday card, and the other was at MIL's instigation and created a horrible issue for a couple weeks afterward - he never wanted to go in the cart after that, he'd start pitching a fit every time. What we've had to do is offer him two choices - the cart or riding in the backpack. He loves the backpack but ends up having more fun in the cart because I hand him each item I've selected and let him play with it until he's ready to put it in the buggy part. He also tends to behave better when we're alone, rather than if someone else is with us - then he starts protesting almost immediately. I'm pretty sure that for me at least not letting him run around the store is more GD because Mommy would probably lose her temper otherwise.
Seriously, I don't think there's anything wrong with setting those boundaries. Ds is not capable right now of being able to follow along without getting into everything, and I try not to put him in situations where I know I'm going to end up having to be stern with him.
 
#22 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sparkprincess
Wearing him is not an option anymore. He's 25 lbs and I'm very petite. Just too heavy. I love the ideas about giving him his lunch or another treat - that may work very well. The "fun" carts worked for a while, but that was over quickly!
What kind of carriers have you tried? My dd got big early and I haven't been able to carry her in a one shoulder carrier in a year. BUT in a mei tai I can carry her for hours. Might be worth it to try a couple of different carriers.

-Angela
 
#23 ·
I don`t know if this is a helpful tip for a child as young as 2 YO, but here goes:

I make my son his own list. I write what I need, and then draw a picture of it next to the correct word. Try writing thing in the right order, so that the child doesn`t run to the other end of the store because the list says eggs, when you all are right next to the apples.
 
#24 ·
I've recently had a lot of success with shopping when DS is in his stroller. He loves his stroller and hates the cart, so this has been a good compromise for us. He always gets a snack, usually a milk from the Starbucks and a bagel that he can eat throughout the store. It works really well, although I do have to make more frequent trips, as I can't put a lot of stuff in the stroller. It's totally worth it, though.
 
#25 ·
ya, when things need to be done, I just have to put dd in the cart, and that is the way it is. In general, she sits in the cart. At walmart she likes to sit in the basket part and go through my purse or have a snack. At the grocery store, she and ds love to ride the car carts and they make noise and get cheese at the deli. If she gets out and starts running around she has to sit up in the cart seat and doesnt want taht option, so she generally is good about staying with me or in teh car part.

Plus, take into account your time. Be quick!! come in with a list, get what you need and get out. I once went grocery shopping with my friend and she took forever!!! With a very antsy 3 year old and then wondered why he was freaking out!! I may forget things often, but right now my best solution is to be quick.

eta: I actually can still wear dd in my new native baby carrier, and i love it. I just wore her Monday when we went to the New England Aquarium so we didnt have to bring a stroller on the train and the subway. It worked quite well and my back was fine. However, I find it very hard to wear her in the grocery store, particularly if I have to bend to get things... she is just too heavy.
 
#26 ·
I only take him when one of the older kids is with me to chase him down for me or I leave him home with DH. I attempted shopping with him with my mom the other day and she ended up taking him to the car, because he just wouldn't stay in the cart (even the car ones).
 
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