didnt know where to post this either in the discipline forum or here but since it seems more like a discpline post and more suited for it ill post it here. (also i didnt know what to title it as as well sorry if it was misleading.
Im a babysitter for two kids E(age 3 boy, name changed for confiendiality purposes) AND Izzy(age 5 girl, name changed for confidentiality purposes ) ive been their babysitter for almost three months now and the parents and I have gotten along GREAT the parents are soo good to me and i really have told them how much I apprecite them giving me the job after how hard it has been to search for people who would not judge me by my gender( im a guy, if you were wondering that check my sig
) also they pretty much have become like family friends to me, and both the kids and I have bonded alot, espeically me and izzy much like a big brother little sister type of bond, and with evan very much like a big big brother little brother bond. this is because i dont just go there and just sit and watch tv, i play with them (safe age approprite games of course like arts and crafts, going to the park and playing chase etc.) and when it comes to disciplining them i always listen to them and have them talk things out and use a firm but understanding voice, and also holding them gently and talking to them. Pretty much im a very firm beliver in AP and Attachment caregiving because im a person who enjoys working with children and i got into this feild knowing that i cant just sit on my butt and watch tv if and think i was gonna be considered a good sitter/nanny, becasue people who truly care about and wish to be a postive role model in their lives takes an active role by playing with them, listening to them, as well as theri families etc. yet there is alot i got to learn about AP and AC since what i do know is pretty basic.
ive worked with kids as a preschool teacher and a nanny/sitter before and I am currently a child develppment student at my college and my careeer goal is tobecome a kinergarten teacher, and I can say for a fact that this is the best family (one of two) that ive been with so far, yet i know with all the expdrince i ahve that not every child IMHO is the same, and i got much to learn.
so far the kids and I have gotten along great, the usual ups and downs here that go along with working with a five and three year old BUT yesterday and a few days before things got a bit rocky. what has happend is that i have started to come later like around 8pm, as the parents requested which is perfectly okay with me because it allows their dad or mom to spend time with them, since dad usually works late and mom needs a break , and i always belive that the parents need to spend time with their kids, i mean they both adore them (izzy especially adores her dad) . , yet now days sometimes bella does this. where she goes crying when she sees me and runs to her room, and dad or mom goes and comforts her. and then its all better. E would start to do that recently as well.
i thgoht this would be only a once a week thing or just a rare occurance that occured once or twice but it seems that recently when i come over Izzy would do this or E would as well, OR they both would cry or get mad at me.
heres what happend Sunday.
E was difficult yesterday , he was going LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE, (he does this whenever he gets tired ) even when i just went to sit near by him. hes usually quite tired by like 8pm or so since he goes to bed at like 9 so its no suprise but man oh man i mean he tried to sleep on the floor and thats not okay since well he might get tripped over and since i gotta pick him up and put him in bed.
even tho i know hes just acting like his usual three year old self whenever he says "I dont lke you i like grandma paulette and jack" when hes just saying im sooo tired and I miss grandma or grandpa( which both of them did) and i had a long day. pretty much when he does that i be as calm as possilbe and give him as much space as well. yet it is heartwrenching to hear that especially no matter how muc you understand.
(repeat of what I said before but with more info) Izzy has been the same way kinda, she runs to her room crying saying "no i dont want you your a jerk etc." same deal shes tired or had a long day, (i usually get there now days at 8 or so) but she on the other hand after talking with dad or so understands that mom and dad will be back and that i do love her and then comes to me and gives me a big hug, then after that wont let me go
aye phases you know they will blow over but when they are going thorugh them you alsoi (ie parents, babysitters, or anyone who is directly contact with them ) go through them with them, in trying to help them.
even tho ive sat for them for a total of 3 months so far it seems like forever which is whY i sometmes get suprised when they do that but then i guess i gotta reasses myself and say WOAH it is their bed time and you know that they dont hate you, they are just tired .(please do correct me if im wrong)
so hwat im wondering is does it seem like i did anyting wrong? i mean i know that if i did the parents wouldnt want me back, and would tell me and i know that if i was being a bad sitter that bella would let me know or E would REALLY let me know and the
yet either way im just SOO glad that their parents are soo understanding tho
i always feel i have done something wrong but then i ahve to say to myself, would she (isablella) really come up to me and hug me and stick by me IF she hated me? (shes five btw)
and if evan really hated me why then would he allow me to pick him up or so?
thing that ive seen with three year olds like evan and correct me if im wrong, is that they are in a testing phase and need space but bounadires and just a firm voice to let them know you are serious but not being mean. in order to convey feelings?
bottom line is am i wrong? am I a bad sitter? how should I handle this? I can feel that they know that I love them like a big brother or like family but how do I still convey that to E when he goes goes into a tantrum, and how do i get him to listen to me?
any help is greatly apprecited.