dh firmly believes in spanking - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 06-08-2006, 11:42 PM - Thread Starter
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and i am not really for it. i am open to learning more but he isnt. how can we remidy two different parenting styles?
any good book suggestions for us to read or anything
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#2 of 6 Old 06-08-2006, 11:47 PM
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Here are a few ready articles for starters http://naturalchild.org/articles/child_advocacy.html

A book - I liked Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn.

And this forum of course
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#3 of 6 Old 06-09-2006, 12:16 AM
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Also, check out the sticky at the top of this forum. It's got lots of links. Depending on your preferences, you could direct your DH to many books that explain the harm of spanking -- including Dr. Sears, Brazelton and many more.

Also, if he is swayed by medical organizations, you could point out that the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a statement strongly opposing spanking. In fact, it is really difficult to find any reputable organization that recommends it. You could show him the Pearls' material on-line -- it is so disgusting that it might help you open up a discussion about violence, authority, abuse thereof, etc. You could also point out that several other countries have completely banned it, and use that to open up further discussion. Good luck!

ETA: I should add that, before I married and had children, I dated a pro-spanking man. I used the above tactics and was able to convince him that hitting kids was not o.k.
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#4 of 6 Old 06-09-2006, 12:18 AM
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How about "The Secret of Parenting" by Anthony Wolf. Its about how to "be in charge of kids" without punishment. It tends to appeal to DH's who believe in spanking becasue it tells you its simply not necessary and that you can still be a very "tough" parent. (thought it also points out why its wrong).
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#5 of 6 Old 06-09-2006, 02:37 AM
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I like Parenting with Purpose by Lynda Madison - it's quick and to the point, and has a lot of good, practical suggestions on what to do.

Some parents also think that "not spanking" means "not disciplining". That might be a starting spot for discussions. You're not saying you're not going to TEACH your child, but you are saying you aren't going to hit them.

If he's got an ipod or other Mp3 player, you can have him listen to the positive discipline podcasts:

Here are some other links that might help:

Good luck!

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#6 of 6 Old 06-10-2006, 12:33 AM
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Is he in favor of spanking for religious reasons?
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