Ezzo v. Dobson. Who is scarier? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think we can all agree that Ezzo is more evil. His brand of 'baby discipline' crosses the abuse border and leaves it in the dust, while Dobson dances around it.

But all the same....I think Dobson frightens me more than Ezzo! I think there are a lot of loving "Christian" parents out there that would be horrified by Ezzo and put the book down without ever implementing its methods (my parents certainly never would have Ezzoed a baby), and at the same time been drawn to the pseudo-psychology/tough love that Dobson presents.

Dobson is more insidious, more deceiving, because his sadism is mixed in with a small dose of fairly healthy advice.

In short...Dobson scares me more. Any thoughts?
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#2 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 05:58 PM
 
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Both of them give me a high BP and send me running... IMO they are equally scary and also dangerous...

I would of course add the Pearls to the top of the list also...

 
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#3 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The Pearls...Pearls are just vile, vile vile.
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#4 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 06:19 PM
 
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Pearls aside (they take the cake) I agree that Dobson is scarier. It's easy enough to dismiss Ezzo, especially with the FTT cases due to his feeding schedule. But Dobson, my gosh, he just seems to get to the well-meaning parents and really give them what they want to hear - ex. spanking is a quick solution, and he says there's no reason to think it will cause long-term harm in the child. Lovely. My church offered a parenting/discipline class using Dobson - I made sure people knew why we weren't attending. :

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#5 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 06:46 PM
 
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Hands down Dobson for me! That man's spanking advice infuriates me to no end. He seems like the cuddly gradpa with his voice and in his books for adults, but really pulls one on the moms who trust his parenting advice. He praises moms who spank! Thanks to him the poison of violence to children is being passed to another generation of Christian children.

I'm usually pretty mild tempered, but he gets me going....so please excuse my rage
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#6 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 07:06 PM
 
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I read some of James Dobson. I liked him fine, but used what I liked and tossed the rest.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Kevin Leman. Many of you may not like him, but I adore and worship him. I have a shrine of Kevin Leman books in my bookcase. He has made my marriage so much easier.
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#7 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 09:27 PM
 
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Who are the Pearls?
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#8 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 09:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Deir...there are many informative threads on the Pearls in this forum, but unfortunately the search function is down for the interim :

The Pearls have recently been in the news because a mother murdered her four year old last year using his discipline methods.

He advocates INCREDIBLY harsh physical violence towards babies and children for the slightest 'infraction' and recommends keeping a piece of piping (YES PIPING) in each room of the house in order to hit your children with should they step out of line, amongst other things.
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#9 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 09:43 PM
 
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OMG!!!!! Thanks for informing me! I just went and checked out some of their writings!! UGH! It is unbelievable. there is so much I don't even know where to begin!! My MIL just sent us a decorative clothes hook thing that has that bible quote on it! It made me a bit sick but now I really hate it. I have to hang that darn thing up because she's coming to visit next week! But then i will take it right down. i have no idea why she got it for us anyway other than it is a train and Myles loves trains of course. It doesn't even make sense because "train" vehicle and "train" verb are not the same anyway. LOL
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#10 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 10:39 PM
 
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Dobson. Absolutely.

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Mama to Nate (11/02) and due 4/12/11
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#11 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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Dobson & the Pearls are worse that Ezzo, who is his own kind'a crazy for sure.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#12 of 85 Old 07-03-2006, 11:26 PM
 
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Pearl Link

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#13 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 01:10 AM
 
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Scariest: Pearls
Second Scariest: Dobson
Third Scariest: Ezzo

Mama of three.
 
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#14 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 01:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elmh23
Scariest: Pearls
Second Scariest: Dobson
Third Scariest: Ezzo
I think this would be my ranking too, although I am not as familiar with the Ezzos. The Pearls seem to advocate the most heinous violence against the smallest infants, but Dobson seems to have a much larger following. For that reason, his "scariness" factor goes up.
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#15 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 02:31 AM
 
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WOW how scary all 3 of them are I had never read about any of them until this thread- hope it's ok to say but how could a person do that to another person, let alone your OWN child. I am shocked.

THANK GOODNESS FOR GD MAMAS:
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#16 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 02:38 AM
 
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Ehhh....they are all freaky. The Pearls and Ezzo are my big BP risers.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#17 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 08:07 AM
 
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OMG.
I had no knowledge of what the Pearls were all about til I went to the link Georgia provided.

I read through the first little bit but had to stop because I was actually getting physically ill. HOW COULD ANYONE JUSTIFY HURTING A BABY - or any other human being for that matter! I got as far as the part where they talk about how to 'train' your baby not to bite you while nursing - they say to PULL THEIR HAIR! OMG. I am just sick to my tummy now. I could never ever ever in a million years ever imagine doing anything to cause my sweet little baby pain.

I would say, having read that - the Pearls are by far more vile than Ezzo. I don't know much about Dobson either, but I am just not up to reading about any more baby torturing techniques so I'll leave Dobson for another day.

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#18 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 08:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LianneM
It's easy enough to dismiss Ezzo, especially with the FTT cases due to his feeding schedule.
What is FTT?
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#19 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 09:06 AM
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Pearls are the worst thing out there (slightly worse than Fugate, Bradley, and Lessin.)

I believe Ezzo's teachings are more dangerous. They agree with what Dobson teaches, but include the feeding schedules and parent-centered selfishness.

Dobson reaches more people and (inexplicably,) gives off a more respectable aire, which makes him dangerous.
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#20 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 09:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmfoote
What is FTT?
Failure to thrive...

due to the strict feeding schedules that the Ezzo's endorse many babies (especially breastfed babes) have been underfed and were not thriving...

 
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#21 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 09:55 AM
 
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I can't begin to answer that question. They are all just equally inexcusable in my estimation.

Deir, why on earth would you keep that thing?

I'd toss it and either tell MIL why, or if you just can't do that, tell her it broke.

You don't have to put anything in your house that makes you uncomfortable. It's your sanctuary!

-----

About the Pearls... Let's not forget that they actually advise to set babies up to be hit too. Entice them with interesting things, and... then... >whack!<

There's just nothing productive that can be said about this.
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#22 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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Yeah, a prominant member of our community gave me "To Train Up a Child" by the Pearls. I decided to read it with an open mind. Oh MY GOODNESS!!!!! I about died! Put your glasses down in front of your child and switch them with a stick until they don't touch them anymore!!!!!!! Also, let your baby cry so that it learns not cry. Yeah, the Pearls get my blood boiling! (I think they should be switched for everything and see how THEY like it.)
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#23 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 03:20 PM
 
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They all make me ill. I just want to go grab my kids and hug them when i think of everything these people are teaching.
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#24 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 04:42 PM
 
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Check out www.stoptherod.net

Ugh
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#25 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 04:49 PM
 
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OMG, clearly the Pearls have NOOOOO understanding about child rearing, child development or child psychology AT ALL. It just disgudts me how many children have been emotionally scarred through the years due to the teachings they have!!! I know so many Christians who really believe spanking is required of them by the bible, which is really not the case at all unless you twist the interpretation of certain verses. I am just sick to my stomache..... We lived with a family with 6 kids and the parents got on me CONSTANTLY cuz they beat thier kids with a belt. It was how they obeyed God. I* am sorry, but my children are precious gifts of God, last time I checked God didn't go around whipping ME so what gives me the right to be that way????
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#26 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aira
I can't begin to answer that question. They are all just equally inexcusable in my estimation.

Deir, why on earth would you keep that thing?

I'd toss it and either tell MIL why, or if you just can't do that, tell her it broke.

You don't have to put anything in your house that makes you uncomfortable. It's your sanctuary!

-----

About the Pearls... Let's not forget that they actually advise to set babies up to be hit too. Entice them with interesting things, and... then... >whack!<

There's just nothing productive that can be said about this.
I totally agree. How about I set a big pile of money or something in front of you and then punch you when you reach for it?! HOW does that teach a child ANYTHING???????
And my MIL trid to give me this plank thing that she joked was to hang on the wall as a visual reminder to my kids.... I told her it was disgusting. Some grandparenst might get on you about spoiling your child but you'd think they would be happy you were not hitting thier precious grandbabies. KWIM?
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#27 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 04:54 PM
 
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Tonia, I went to that site you posted - - - omg...I can't believe anyone would BUY something like that. Ugh. Is there an emoticon for "puking til my head explodes" - - that's how I feel about that stupid thing.

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#28 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 10:57 PM
 
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.

Deir, why on earth would you keep that thing?

I'd toss it and either tell MIL why, or if you just can't do that, tell her it broke.

You don't have to put anything in your house that makes you uncomfortable. It's your sanctuary!


oh geez......My MIL doesn't advocate that stuff!! "train up you children" was a bible quote before it was a title of a sadistic book! She's fairly religious and I think she wishes we were too!!

Wow- i gotta be careful here on MDC!
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#29 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 11:01 PM
 
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My last post was weird..I tried to put in a quote from above oh well.. still getting the hang of this!


Anyway- My dh and I were just so disgusted reading pearls' stuff and Dobson is horrendous too!! Sick.
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#30 of 85 Old 07-04-2006, 11:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deir
oh geez......My MIL doesn't advocate that stuff!! "train up you children" was a bible quote before it was a title of a sadistic book! She's fairly religious and I think she wishes we were too!!

Wow- i gotta be careful here on MDC!
Uh, I just meant that you said it made you uncomfortable... "sick" is how I think you described it?

Regardless of MIL's intentions, I was going by what you said it made you feel.
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