Consensual Living Tribe? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is there an interest in forming a Consensual Living tribe on MDC, for discussing the nuances of living by consent? Of course, mamas would still be welcome to share CL philosophy and strategies here in GD. Perhaps, a CL support forum?

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#2 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 03:56 PM
 
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I'm in.
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#3 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 04:04 PM
 
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I would love that. I'm early on this path and I could use some technical assistance!
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#4 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 04:27 PM
 
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I really like the tribe idea, because it's so much more than discipline, and other areas on MDC where a topic might be more applicable are not so understanding of that perspective. It's a great idea.

Just tell me when and where!! FYT? I'm even willing to start it if you want!
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#5 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 04:33 PM
 
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What an excellent idea The Forum Guidelines are different in FYT than in GD, so please be sure to read these and the stickies at the top of the forum

I think it would a wonderful idea (in addition to a CL Tribe) to start a GD thread specifically addressing CL needs/concerns/scenarios/etc regarding Gentle Discipline issues so that the larger community can have access to the information regarding Consensual Living as it relates to the GD continuum.

Perhaps a new thread every month or so within the GD forum? Or maybe specific topics (CL Carseat negotiation for example) etc, etc. How does that sound? Of course, creating a CL thread/s within GD doesn't restrict CL conversation or participation in other threads, but perhaps it will provide a greater focus and clarity for those interested in learning more about CL as it relates to GD.

Does that sound like something that might be beneficial?

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#6 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by georgia
What an excellent idea The Forum Guidelines are different in FYT than in GD, so please be sure to read these and the stickies at the top of the forum
Thanks, I included the caveat not to bash other threads in the OP. Here is the link to the Consensual Living Tribe: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=1#post5670517

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I think it would a wonderful idea (in addition to a CL Tribe) to start a GD thread specifically addressing CL needs/concerns/scenarios/etc regarding Gentle Discipline issues so that the larger community can have access to the information regarding Consensual Living as it relates to the GD continuum. Perhaps a new thread every month or so within the GD forum?
I love this idea too! Who wants to start? Like "CL-August GD issues"?

Quote:
Or maybe specific topics (CL Carseat negotiation for example) etc, etc. How does that sound?
How about a sticky with CL ideas for specific topics: carseats, tooth brushing, hitting toddlers, bedtimes, etc. Or have a sticky of common topics with links to GD threads that discuss the specific issue over and over with all pov represented.


Quote:
Of course, creating a CL thread/s within GD doesn't restrict CL conversation or participation in other threads, but perhaps it will provide a greater focus and clarity for those interested in learning more about CL as it relates to GD.
And the CL tribe could address CL outside of the parent:child issues also, like with grandparents, family, spouses, community.

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Does that sound like something that might be beneficial?



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#7 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 05:17 PM
 
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Me, me, me! : <unconsensually shoving everybody aside with my elbows >
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#8 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 05:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by scubamama
And the CL tribe could address CL outside of the parent:child issues also, like with grandparents, family, spouses, community.
This is what I see as the biggest benefit of having a tribe.
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#9 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 07:06 PM
 
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aira, I agree, too. The CL paradigm, in my understanding, encompasses so much more than one's interaction with children, and why I had encouraged a Tribe The daily support/discussion not relating to any specific area in particular would be most appropriately discussed within FYT. When an important issue comes up that looks like it will last beyond a few posts (say homeschooling), the FYT guidelines ask that y'all take it to the specific forum so that the entire community would have the benefit of the discussion. The moderators trust that y'all will self-regulate for the most part, but they are definitely responsive and available if/when issues arise.

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#10 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 07:40 PM
 
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I think that it would be a loss to the gentle discipline community if all the CL advocates stopped reading and posting in the general forum in favor of participating only in their separate tribe.

I do not consider my parenting to be completely in line with consensual living. But reading the posts of those who are CL continually makes me examine my own beliefs in greater detail than I would otherwise, and I would really miss those learning opportunties.

I think of it like this...

If we were all participating in a recipe forum, there would be some vegans, some vegetarians, some omnivores, etc. Just because I'm an omnivore doesn't mean that don't want to read vegan recipes and decide if they would be good for my family to try. It doesn't mean that I want to become a vegan, and I certainly wouldn't want to convert a vegan to "omnivorarianism" by insisting they would abandon their beliefs the first time they passed a particularly yummy-smelling bbq restaurant.

But we would all still have a general basic interest in common -- healthy eating for our families -- we just would define what constitutes "healthy" in a slightly different way. A double whopper with cheese may not stand much of a chance in the discussion -- but a chicken breast vs tofu might be interesting!

I guess I'm just trying to say that I would hate to see the group segregate themselves so far to be in agreement with each other that there's nothing left to learn, discuss and debate. What good is it to only talk with those who are in complete agreement with you? What do you learn then?

Just my two cents,

--Olive
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#11 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 07:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l_olive
I think that it would be a loss to the gentle discipline community if all the CL advocates stopped reading and posting in the general forum in favor of participating only in their separate tribe.

I do not consider my parenting to be completely in line with consensual living. But reading the posts of those who are CL continually makes me examine my own beliefs in greater detail than I would otherwise, and I would really miss those learning opportunties.
I agree.
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#12 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 07:54 PM
 
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Good point Olive
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#13 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 07:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by georgia
What an excellent idea The Forum Guidelines are different in FYT than in GD, so please be sure to read these and the stickies at the top of the forum

I think it would a wonderful idea (in addition to a CL Tribe) to start a GD thread specifically addressing CL needs/concerns/scenarios/etc regarding Gentle Discipline issues so that the larger community can have access to the information regarding Consensual Living as it relates to the GD continuum.

Perhaps a new thread every month or so within the GD forum? Or maybe specific topics (CL Carseat negotiation for example) etc, etc. How does that sound? Of course, creating a CL thread/s within GD doesn't restrict CL conversation or participation in other threads, but perhaps it will provide a greater focus and clarity for those interested in learning more about CL as it relates to GD.

Does that sound like something that might be beneficial?
:

It seems there is a very strong contingency of CL MDCers on this board - and I've long felt a sub-forum would be so helpful. A place where like minds could meet. My hope is to avoid debate on the merits of CL v. other GD methods -- and focus more on substantive GD discussions across the spectrum.

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#14 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 07:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slightly crunchy
I agree.
It wouldn't stop posting in all forums. And if there is a CL-specific sub forum within GD - you'd know exactly where to go for that spectrum of advice.

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#15 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 08:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom
:

My hope is to avoid debate on the merits of CL v. other GD methods -- and focus more on substantive GD discussions across the spectrum.
I completely understand that. I, too, get awfully tired of the tooth-brushing and carseat arguments that continually come up in CL threads.

But I would hate for a momma to post for suggestions in how to deal with something and not get advice from CL-ers because they only had time or inclination to read the topics in their own tribe. I think this does a great disservice to the GD forum as a whole.

And I'm really not sure how you can expect "substantive GD discussions across the spectrum" when you're only discussing with those who are in complete agreement with you. I'm really not trying to be snarky -- just trying to understand.

Oh... maybe you mean "across the spectrum of GD situations" instead of "spectrum of those people who identify themselves as practicing GD." Do I have that right? Does that even make sense?

--Olive
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#16 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 08:48 PM
 
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No, we do not want to lose the input of any GD mamas, no matter where they fall on the continuum. I believe one of the reasons a tribe was suggested is that CL mamas who have found each other in the GD forum have many other issues to discuss other than GD.

Quote:
But I would hate for a momma to post for suggestions in how to deal with something and not get advice from CL-ers because they only had time or inclination to read the topics in their own tribe. I think this does a great disservice to the GD forum as a whole.
This is why I didn't suggest a subforum or something that separates everyone into tidy boxes. We're not . We're each here learningfrom each other about approaches to Gentle Discipline, which is the intent and purpose of the GD forum.

I see this really as an effort to better organize different approaches, I suggested specific CL threads so that someone who was new to this way of living and wanted to learn more, wouldn't have to guess where to look--I mean, really, who would guess that a "What age to start manners" thread would turn out to be a CL primer?

Guess what I'm saying is this is in no way an attempt to divide. It's really a trial at seeing how this works to meet everyone's needs for information and support. I don't see a CL Tribe taking anyone away from offering encouragement and/or BTDT advice to those seeking information. If it becomes that way, we'll probably want to re-evaluate.

If this approach doesn't feel right---please post your concerns and let's take another look. I'm sure there are several ways to figure out together how to most effectively and productively organize the CL discussion (and all discussion) in a way that makes the most sense.

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#17 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 08:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by georgia
No, we do not want to lose the input of any GD mamas, no matter where they fall on the continuum. I believe one of the reasons a tribe was suggested is that CL mamas who have found each other in the GD forum have many other issues to discuss other than GD.



This is why I didn't suggest a subforum or something that separates everyone into tidy boxes. We're not . We're each here learningfrom each other about approaches to Gentle Discipline, which is the intent and purpose of the GD forum.

I see this really as an effort to better organize different approaches, I suggested specific CL threads so that someone who was new to this way of living and wanted to learn more, wouldn't have to guess where to look--I mean, really, who would guess that a "What age to start manners" thread would turn out to be a CL primer?

Guess what I'm saying is this is in no way an attempt to divide. It's really a trial at seeing how this works to meet everyone's needs for information and support. I don't see a CL Tribe taking anyone away from offering encouragement and/or BTDT advice to those seeking information. If it becomes that way, we'll probably want to re-evaluate.

If this approach doesn't feel right---please post your concerns and let's take another look. I'm sure there are several ways to figure out together how to most effectively and productively organize the CL discussion (and all discussion) in a way that makes the most sense.
Oh.

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#18 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 08:55 PM
 
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TripMom, I just saw your post---how do you feel about starting a Positive Discipline Thread, one looking for PD input, advice, BTDT, suggestions, etc? Just like in other forums, one can respectfully request that posts with questions are fine/criticism is not Not that it might not occur, but, mainly, the thread is for helpful suggestions/advice, etc.

The problem with a subforum, as I stated (I think) above is that we lose the participatory aspect when everyone is put into a neat little category. We each have so much to offer each other---it's not an all or nothing thing.

Thoughts?

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#19 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 09:01 PM
 
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If there's anything anyone wants to discuss with me privately, please feel free to PM me.

TripMom--my post #19 was referring to seeing your post #16

At this point in time, it is my understanding that new subforums are a long time in coming and only when there is an overwhelming need/# of requests. This thread really isn't "official" or anything...I just wanted to throw out some ideas and get some input from everyone--to get a better feel for how things are going. I will definitely be passing along ideas gained from this thread to help better organize the forum in an effort to help everyone feel most welcomed and comfortable.

My word is absolutely not the final one on any of this

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#20 of 25 Old 08-02-2006, 09:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by georgia
I see this really as an effort to better organize different approaches, I suggested specific CL threads so that someone who was new to this way of living and wanted to learn more, wouldn't have to guess where to look--I mean, really, who would guess that a "What age to start manners" thread would turn out to be a CL primer?

Guess what I'm saying is this is in no way an attempt to divide. It's really a trial at seeing how this works to meet everyone's needs for information and support. I don't see a CL Tribe taking anyone away from offering encouragement and/or BTDT advice to those seeking information. If it becomes that way, we'll probably want to re-evaluate.
OK. Maybe I just need to try to look at this with more CL-type eyes. I'm learning to try to see ways to make things work instead of always looking for pitfalls. See what all you have taught me??

--Olive
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#21 of 25 Old 08-03-2006, 12:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How about a Positive Discipline Tribe for support, in FYT? And/or a "PD-August GD issues" thread for discussion specific to PD philosophy and strategies, in the GD forum? Who wants to start it?

I personally would like to see the most common issues as a sticky so that the carseat issue (for instance) remains accessible at the top of the forum so that we don't need to beat that dead horse again. And manners and tooth brushing and bedtimes, etc. With all perspectives on the continuum included. And/or with links to the threads that discussed/debated those issues. Of course, anyone could still ask the same question in their own thread, or on the sticky and receive new responses. But, it seems that the old threads may decrease the need to re-debate the issue again and again and again, each time someone asks the same question.

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#22 of 25 Old 08-03-2006, 02:06 AM
 
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Yesterday, I read a post by one of the regulars that described CL. Even though I had not heard of the term, and don't call myself by that, it sounded exactly like how we are raising our son. Does anyone mind if a non-official CL mama joins the group?

~Nay

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#23 of 25 Old 08-03-2006, 11:06 AM
 
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Nay,

Many parents here are not into labels. I'm sure you would be more than welcome in any discussion

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#24 of 25 Old 08-03-2006, 02:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by georgia
If there's anything anyone wants to discuss with me privately, please feel free to PM me.

TripMom--my post #19 was referring to seeing your post #16

At this point in time, it is my understanding that new subforums are a long time in coming and only when there is an overwhelming need/# of requests. This thread really isn't "official" or anything...I just wanted to throw out some ideas and get some input from everyone--to get a better feel for how things are going. I will definitely be passing along ideas gained from this thread to help better organize the forum in an effort to help everyone feel most welcomed and comfortable.

My word is absolutely not the final one on any of this
OK - well at least I understand why I've not ever gotten a response on the request. I think it would be a good thing. Maybe someday.

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#25 of 25 Old 08-03-2006, 03:24 PM
 
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If anyone has any issues with present or past threads, please PM me so we can talk about it rather than discussing it on the board

Thanks!

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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