Anyone read "Raising our children, Raising ourselves"? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 08-15-2006, 03:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm very interested in hearing from anyone who had read this book. I've just "discovered" Naomi Aldort and her website. We are in the midst of struggle in our home right now with my pregnancy reaching the final stages, a strong willed 2 1/2 yr old & my 5 yr old not happy about having another sibling. In addition to all of this and the struggles with my 5 yr old, it is bringing up a lot of my own childhood hurts as we are trying to raise our children gently and lovingly. This book looks like it may be very UP oriented, but I'm so weary of hearing everyone talk about Kohn like he's some kind of god that I need another source. I'm not saying anything negative about the book, so please don't blast - just want to find other sources to round out the ideas.

Let me know what you think - my library doesn't have it, so I'm looking for feedback before I purchase it
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#2 of 13 Old 08-15-2006, 03:34 PM
 
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for Naomi Aldort's new book.

You also might check out the NVC booklets: Raising Children Compassionately and Parenting from Your Heart. I found them very short, approachable and concrete. $5 each, I believe.

"Raising Children Compassionately" http://www.cnvc.org/raisekds.htm http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/1892...138440?ie=UTF8

"Parenting from Your Heart" http://www.cnvc.org/motherin.htm http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/1892...e=UTF8&s=books

This is another one I just found and like:

Connection Parenting by Pam Leo http://www.connectionparenting.com/p...dex.html#index
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/193...lance&n=283155


Here are two articles from the NVC site: Raising Children Compassionately: http://www.cnvc.org/raisekds.htm

Compassionate Connection: attachment parenting and nonviolent communication: http://www.cnvc.org/motherin.htm

You can probably find Siblings Without Rivalry at the library too. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/038...lance&n=283155

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#3 of 13 Old 08-15-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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I was wondering about this book too, thanks scubamama, for taking the time to post all that info and the links. I am taking notes and will be reading all the links. BTW the quote in your sig really hit home with me, I am newly commited to raising my children with respect and your quote really sums up my motive behind it. You are an inspiration, I have been reading a lot of your posts lately.:
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#4 of 13 Old 08-15-2006, 04:01 PM
 
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It is a great book with great concepts!

I must say that the writing style did not click with me. I can not even get my finger on it - may be it was too many examples?

I kinda like Alfie Kohn's style more Or may be it's because he was my "first love"? :
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#5 of 13 Old 08-15-2006, 04:06 PM
 
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"Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" kind of made me feel bad about myself. But I am still glad that I read it. I got more from Alfie though.
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#6 of 13 Old 08-15-2006, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the feedback mamas! Thanks for the great links scubamama - I too will be reading them. I'm always so grateful for this community as there really isn't anyone else I can relate to around me - isn't that horribly sad that "we" are so difficult to find!!!!!!???????
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#7 of 13 Old 09-03-2006, 04:43 PM
 
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Bumping

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#8 of 13 Old 09-03-2006, 11:07 PM
 
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I just have a couple minutes, but I am re-reading Raising our Children for the second time, because I think I missed a lot the first time around since I read it so fast. There really is a lot to soak up. I am finding it really helpful when I use her suggestions, but also seeing my parenting in a new light. It has really helped me to catch myself in the act of negating and be more critical of myself, rather than justifying the times when I lose my patience, etc. The thing I am struggling with is dealing with 2 children at once. If one is being rough or has taken something from the other, I struggle to not just bark orders like "leave your brother alone" or "give that back right now", etc. If anyone would like to share their thoughts/experiences with this book, I'd love to hear more.
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#9 of 13 Old 01-06-2007, 04:13 PM
 
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Bumping.

Pat

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#10 of 13 Old 01-06-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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I just wanted to add that if you like "Connection Parenting" by Pam Leo, Pam gives FREE teleconferences to members of Families for Natural Living once a month. She is an AMAZING mom, grandmom, homeschooling grandmom...you name it. I really appreciate her viewpoint.

Marie
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#11 of 13 Old 01-06-2007, 05:32 PM
 
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Adding to my reading list... :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#12 of 13 Old 01-06-2007, 06:06 PM
 
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I found the book very valuable, especially in learning to separate "my stuff" from what the child really needs, and what is really going on with the child. I also found the ideas of empathizing with the child's emotions while not adding drama or projecting how I would have felt as a child in a similar situation helpful.

In some ways, though, I find myself feeling frustrated and inadequate when I attempt to communicate in Aldort's style and things don't usually go anywheres near what her examples suggest they will. I can empathize and recognize DD's feelings all day, and I will NEVER get, "Oh thanks Mom; I just wanted to know that you understood; I will move on now" instead I get more along the lines of, "Great! I'm glad you understand! BUT I STILL WANT IT so either shut up or give it to me!"

Of three books: Unconditional Parenting; Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves; and Playful Parenting, I learned much from all of them and all are definitely worth reading but I incorporate more of Playful Parenting into my parenting style than the others and found it the most useful.
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#13 of 13 Old 01-06-2007, 06:42 PM
 
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I've only just started to read this book... but already I've found some of her suggestions to be helpful. Will post more when I've had the chance to read more

Blessings
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