9 month old throwing horrible temper tantrums - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-28-2006, 08:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is 9 months old and I've known from the start that she is high needs . I call her happy high needs since usually she's bubbly and happy and quite a joy to be around. When things don't go her way though she flips out! A few weeks ago I found her ripping wallpaper off the wall so I used the stroller to block that part of the hallway. She screamed and threw herself at the stroller and just generally threw a complete fit that I dared to block the hall. I tried to distract her but every time she'd look at that darn stroller she freaked out again. This went on for 1/2 an hour (what can I say, she's persistant). She freaks if I try to make her sit in the highchair (she can slip ou of the straps no matter how tight I make it) but also wants to be involved in the meal (holding her on my lap is out of the question since she grabs and everything and will cut/burn herself) Now she refuses to play on the floor, she only wants to be on the couch. She cries if I put her on the floor to play so I generally let her play on the couch but that means I have to stand right there so she doesn't fall off. This obviously makes it impossible to do anything else. Her nursing manners are also quite bad. If I'm topless she pops from one breast to the other and just won't quit, it's a game to her. I try to cover one breast and just keep her on one but then she refuses to nurse at all and will throw her fit. She also squirms and twists and kicks (she's practicing for the nursing olypmics) and it causes her latch to slip off and it hurts! I try taking her off and yet again, another fit. We also have temper tantrums at every diaper change and when I try to put clothes on her. I don't want to let her CIO and she's too little for reasoning. I'm still keeping mostly a good mood about all this, I know she's just being a baby, but it is starting to drive me batty. I also don't want to squelch her spirit since that's one of the things I love most about her. Sorry this is so long winded but any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Old 08-29-2006, 12:44 AM
 
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Read the book The Aware Baby by Aletha Solter. All of these situations are in there; this book was so helpful for us when we went through a similar situation around this age. I can't recommend it enough. Here is the author's website: http://www.awareparenting.com/
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bailey228
My dd is 9 months old and I've known from the start that she is high needs . I call her happy high needs since usually she's bubbly and happy and quite a joy to be around. When things don't go her way though she flips out! A few weeks ago I found her ripping wallpaper off the wall so I used the stroller to block that part of the hallway. She screamed and threw herself at the stroller and just generally threw a complete fit that I dared to block the hall. I tried to distract her but every time she'd look at that darn stroller she freaked out again. This went on for 1/2 an hour (what can I say, she's persistant). She freaks if I try to make her sit in the highchair (she can slip ou of the straps no matter how tight I make it) but also wants to be involved in the meal (holding her on my lap is out of the question since she grabs and everything and will cut/burn herself) Now she refuses to play on the floor, she only wants to be on the couch. She cries if I put her on the floor to play so I generally let her play on the couch but that means I have to stand right there so she doesn't fall off. This obviously makes it impossible to do anything else. Her nursing manners are also quite bad. If I'm topless she pops from one breast to the other and just won't quit, it's a game to her. I try to cover one breast and just keep her on one but then she refuses to nurse at all and will throw her fit. She also squirms and twists and kicks (she's practicing for the nursing olypmics) and it causes her latch to slip off and it hurts! I try taking her off and yet again, another fit. We also have temper tantrums at every diaper change and when I try to put clothes on her. I don't want to let her CIO and she's too little for reasoning. I'm still keeping mostly a good mood about all this, I know she's just being a baby, but it is starting to drive me batty. I also don't want to squelch her spirit since that's one of the things I love most about her. Sorry this is so long winded but any advice is greatly appreciated.
She sounds very gifted to me - seems like she's displaying behaviors you usually see more around 18 mths.

I think the best thing to do is try as much as possible to honor her impulse and make things safe for her.

For the wallpaper, what we have done is taken a bunch of pictures of things around the house and familiar people, put them low on the wall with the words for each underneath ("Papa" "banana" "car" "stroller" etc). Then we screwed a sheet of plexiglass over the entire bottom half of the wall. Now she has pictures she can use to communicate or converse about, and has forgotten all about the wallpaper because the pictures are more interesting. Plus she can't get to the wallpaper anymore.

She was able to get out of her highchair at 6 mths. There was no way to keep her in there. So she eats while sitting on my lap. I keep my plate out of her reach and put a few pieces on the table that she can reach and also aren't too hot or spicy. She has her own spoon and usually I can eat while she focuses on trying to manipulate her spoon/food, although I do eat faster than I would like and sometimes its challenging.

The nursing olympics is something we've been dealing with for a while, too. When she is particularly active I keep my hand behind her head/shoulders so she can't suddenly jerk away with the nipple in her mouth.

Diaper changes/clothing changes are done standing on the counter, one hand on her at all times, while she investigates the cabinet. Its been at least a year since I have been able to change her lying down. Sometimes in the bathroom I sit her on my lap and give her the toothbrush or hairbrush and work her clothes on while she's waving those around.

As for the couch, we got rid of it since we didn't really like it anyway, and got a Kangaroo Climber instead. When she was younger I put yoga mats under and around the climber but she doesn't need the mats anymore.

I haven't figured out what to do with the going from breast to breast yet. I guess the grass is always greener on the other breast.
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Old 08-29-2006, 02:49 AM
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I could have written your post. Mine is 9 months too. She is a very happy baby, but man does she throw fits. Diaper changes and trying to put her clothes on has become nearly impossible. She always wants to be in control of everything and goes nuts if I don't let her have something she wants. She also does the "snacking" back and fourth between breasts. I try not to give her any reaction when she does this kind of stuff, which seems to help a little. Good luck!
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Old 08-29-2006, 04:39 AM
 
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If you haven't started already, I would introduce Baby Signs. This is the perfect age for her to start communicating through signs, and it is SOOOOO helpful when they want to be heard but don't know how to get their thoughts understood. Just being understood often dissipates the emotion behind the behavior. It sounds like she is very intelligent and will pick this up quickly -- my DD started signing almost the same week we started using the signs and it made a huge difference in her contentment level. You can use a book, but mostly I made up my own signs. Some people recommend teaching ASL, but in my opinion that takes too long for both parent and child to learn and benefit from. The book "Baby Signs" is available in most libraries or book stores.
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