On another thread, you wrote:
"when he is being openly defiant I will, have and will continue to give him a spanking. I always follow every discipline with a reason and some "love time", so rest assured I am not abusing my children. I know that there are a lot of moms who strongly disagree with this form of discipline and I respect and understand their reasons; however; until my God and my Bible tell me differently this is how we have chosen to bring up our children. My DH and I are thankful that our parents chose to raise us this way"
Your opening post on this thread leads me to believe that you may have changed your mind regarding spanking. If that is the case, I am glad for you and your children. And, my response is based on the premise that you have decided to stop spanking.
I think that you need help. Your children are very close in age. And, your son is too young to comprehend that he must share you and your attention with another. It may be a good idea for you to get a handle on what is age appropriate behavior for your son. Some child development books may be needed. You will have to change some of your expectations for him. All of mine are professionally based - so maybe someone else can recommend a good one for parents.
And, you need to learn some positive discipline techniques. Nancy Samalin is a great resource for parents. Here is a link to her website:http://www.samalin.com/
Some of Samalin's books are:
"Loving your child is not enough: Positive Discipline that Works"
"Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma"
"Loving Each One Best"
I think those books would be helpful to you. You can also sign up for her newsletter.
And, another books I think you should look at is:
Michael Thompson's "Raising Cain"
Do you have any friends or family who can come and help you? Please get the help you need.