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unintentional cio vs the other kid

558 views 7 replies 7 participants last post by  NaomiLorelie 
#1 ·
This situation has happened twice. Ds (26 mos) pooped and when I tried
wiping his bottom he freaked out. The first time his butt didn't look
red and when I asked he said it didn't hurt. I gave him the option of
wiping himself or splashing in the tub. He screamed "no!!" Eventually
(15 mins) he wiped his own bottom while standing in the tub. None of
this would be a big deal except I also have a 6 week daughter. She
ended up spending both changes screaming. The first time she sat in the
travel swing and the second she laid on the couch. I spoke to her
during both changes. During the second change, I never finished wiping
his inner groin because he clamped his legs together and rolled side to
side. I tried for several minutes then finally told him, "If you want
your bottom to hurt, that's your choice" and walked away to pick up Dd.

My question is, how do I balance his need of not having an unwiped, sore
butt with Dd's need to be held and my strong desire to not have soft,
squishy poop all over the house?

Thanks,

~Nay
 
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#2 ·
Oh mama, I am knee-deep in the middle of this right now! Except for us it's diaper changes, nursing, changing clothes, etc etc etc. It's so hard. My little fussy girl loves the sling, but if she's not sleeping in it, she needs to be moving so if I sit down to tend to her big sister (almost 2.5) and she doesn't want to sit still she SCREAMS her head off. I don't know what else to do, so just like you, I talk to her, tell her it will be okay, I'll be getting back to her soon. Sometimes I have to take her out of the sling and set her in her bouncy seat and just do what I have to do. I don't see another way around it
 
#5 ·
It happens. If you have more than one kid, one will have to wait while the other is tended to. You can't leave a toddler in a poopy diaper until the baby feels like letting you change it. It isn't CIO. You aren't using crying as a form of behavior modification. Anytime a baby cries and you don't get to the baby right. that. second isn't necessarily leting a baby cry it out.

In situations like that, you do the best you can to take care of whatever it is that you're involved in, like wiping a butt, and then get to the baby. If the baby is screaming, you do what you can to soothe her before you change the diaper. You cannot be in two places at once, and I promise that everyone will survive. In that situation, I would have done exactly what you did. I would have tried to get the butt clean, and after a few minutes of struggling I would have told the two-year-old he was going to have to wait. There isn't always a perfect answer for everyone.
 
#6 ·
It's physically impossible to meet both of their needs 100% of the time. When you have 2 babies and one adult, one of them is going to have to wait sometimes. You can only do so much.

I firmly beleive that even newborns can tell the difference. They can see and hear that you're not tending to their needs because you're taking care of a sibling. There's simply no comparison to leaving a baby alone in a crib, walking out, closing the door, and ignoring all cries.
 
#8 ·
I don't have any advice but you are not alone. I have a 4yo, a 2yo, and a very demanding 3 month old. She usually isn't in the mood to be put down but I can't make dinner, and do all of the other children's care while wearing her. Sometimes she cries and I feel horrible, but there isn't much else I can do.
 
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