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#91 of 112 Old 11-28-2006, 10:30 PM
 
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Much better day today. No yelling at anybody. I even thought about what a easy day it was during the day. What came first, their pleasant behavior or mine?

I do know that Tuesdays can be one our better days and am working to remove the triggers on other days. We (I) also need to better handle the stress we cannot remove. It all really comes down to better time management.

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#92 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 01:30 AM
 
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Yelled again because he insisted on messing with the Christmas tree. He normally leaves it alone.

Doesn't help matters that I'm seriouslly PMS'ing...

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#93 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 03:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Trigger #3, I'm going to start doing housework while he's quietly playing and not when he's wanting to nurse. Need to reverse my computer time.
You and me both!

Today went well. Tonight was so-so. I know I've mentioned on other threads how nursing him can be a huge pita. Well, he was being a pain tonight and I swear I was ready to just scream--not just yell--but full-fledged crazy lady insane asylum screaming because I have said the same freakin' thing between 3-10 times a day every day for an entire year. Experienced moms, please tell me, should it literally take him hearing something over 1,000 times to get it through his head? (Can ya tell I'm aggrevated?) Anyways I didn't yell. Instead I turned sarcastic and said stuff like "Wow, I'd've thought that after two years you would know how to drink boobies the right way" and "For gods' sakes kid are you ever gonna FIGURE THIS OUT!" (I didn't yell the bolded part, I just strongly emphasized it )

~Nay

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#94 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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I can't believe I yelled again, this time at my three year old daughter for throwing organic cheese I had just shredded all over the floor because there was not enough cheese in the bowl, in her opinion.
I now see some of my triggers -- when one of my children throws expensive organic food on the floor for reasons like the way the food is arranged on the plate -- it makes me want to scream and lose my cool.

My five year old intentionally dumped a jumbo sized box of baking soda (used for cleaning) on the floor, too, and that didn't annoy me as much. But I did say to her that I felt I would lose my temper if she kept dumping it out, but I said it calmly.

I guess I have to figure out some GD ways to make food stop being thrown, while working on my response to it at the same time.
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#95 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 02:36 PM
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Well..yesterday could be seen as an improvement of sorts. Yelled once right when we woke up (well..uh technically I think I screamed it with great vigor because Nora was doing something with the fridge, refused to let me close it, then got her arm stuck in the side of it, just basically being screamy and whiny. Let it be known that I AM NOT all that rational upon waking. That is my biggest challenge, to be logical and gentle in the middle of the night and right when I get up :/ But that was the only incident.

This is extra hard because we're also going TV Free...or as TV Free as we can get. We live with my parents right now and I can't really tell them not to watch tv at night when they get home. I did manage to keep it off until after dinner though, and my parents watch stuff DD has no interest in anyways.
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#96 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 02:38 PM
 
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My five year old intentionally dumped a jumbo sized box of baking soda (used for cleaning) on the floor, too, and that didn't annoy me as much. But I did say to her that I felt I would lose my temper if she kept dumping it out, but I said it calmly.
I guess I have to figure out some GD ways to make food stop being thrown, while working on my response to it at the same time.
Hey everybody! Oh my, inezyv, I do that too!! I seem to say 'I can feel myself getting upset/angry/etc because of behavior X'...quite often..So after our 'big nasty incident' last Friday, we are doing pretty well. No yelling/hitting...but I am snappy. DS continues to have an awfully snarky mouth/tude though: which means I have to be like Job a heck of a lot.(Ol' Job had it rough!!! ) Thanks for this thread...I just found it today....

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#97 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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Thanks for this thread...I just found it today....
I just found this as well, and it is just what I need. Would anyone be willing to go for another week?

Emily SAHM to four unschoolers Olivia (9), Brian (7), Jack (6), and Liam (5)
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#98 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 05:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just found this as well, and it is just what I need. Would anyone be willing to go for another week?
Sure.

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
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#99 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 05:23 PM
 
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actually, i'm kinda doing this long term....i had just planned on keeping going every day trying to get better. I will say having the thread to come to has helped me really try, see results and then get better. I still have had a couple bad moments, but nothing like the previous weeks I felt I was losing it.

Also it helps me to see other kids that are a lot more aggressive than my middle dd. Today a friend of hers pushed her, she is sick and on meds so she was being fiesty, but she pushed her with such meanness and anger that I really felt for my dd. I mean what my dd does upsets me, but she is just frustrated, not mean spirited. And her little friend seemed to have a lot more "behind" the push if that makes any sense. I mean some resentment. It just made me put my dd's behavior in perspective and to help me relax on her and use positive reinforcement to change her misbehavior and appreciate the communication we DO have. This girl makes my girls look meek. Even my stronger willed one. So i'm going to try to bring that up when my dd gets unruly.
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#100 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 05:53 PM
 
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Well, I actually had 2 "yell free" days. One probably doesn't count because I was in bed the entire day sick. It's awfully hard to yell when you're asleep!

Yesterday I had some times when I was too short with the kids, and one time when dd was climbing on me when I said through gritted teeth "I do not want you on my body right now" but I didn't yell. And I did tell the kids calmly that if they didn't stay in bed, I was leaving the room because it wasn't very much fun for me to have to sit there forever when they weren't even trying to fall asleep.

My triggers (don't know who started this, but it's a great idea)
-When dd wants something when I'm trying to get something done on the computer. Solution: I simply need to put the computer away until she's in bed, which brings me to my second trigger:

-When dd is dancing around at all hours of the night NOT going to sleep. I don't mind if she sits in her bed and reads, or sings, or talks. But this constant getting up and down, bothering her brother, going out to get things... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! OK, I didn't scream at her, but I did here.

-When ds doesn't respond when we ask him to do something. Sometimes it's as simple as "move please so I can get by" and other times it's "it's pajama time" and he's been WARNED 5 times already.

Don't know how to lessen those two.

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#101 of 112 Old 11-29-2006, 10:16 PM
 
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I would be happy to keep this thread going forever. I feel like I've been 100% better since we started . . . I haven't yelled or been snarky with my four year old since last Saturday, and I am really proud of myself since things were not going so well before that and I was getting frustrated way too easily.

I feel like a better mom, and she's responding better as well (gee, there's a surprise).

Let's keep going. :-)

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#102 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 03:34 AM
 
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I'm doing okay...darn PMS is really screwing with me...now that AF is full fledged here I should be balancing out a bit. My moods ALWAYS go hay-wire during PMS..lovely.

I didn't even yell when he tripped out the circut breaker box by turning the bathroom light off and on 10000 times...lol

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#103 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 03:36 AM
 
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Ooooh, just thought of something....I should find one of my wide rubber bands and write NO YELLING on it and then when I feel like yelling I'll snap myself. LOL...I think they are in the van....

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#104 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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Well this morning ds caught me off guard...and without coffee...I went out to the laundry room and ds locked me out of the house so only he and dd were inside...um yeah...not the first time he has done this. Add to that we are having cold (for Phoenix) weather right now and all I had on was a shortie robe and slippers.... right I yelled...and apoligized immediately...and had yet another talk with ds about how dangerous it is to lock adults out of the house....so I guess I am starting over....again...

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#105 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 03:24 PM
 
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Ooooh, just thought of something....I should find one of my wide rubber bands and write NO YELLING on it and then when I feel like yelling I'll snap myself. LOL...I think they are in the van....
I really like this idea.
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#106 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 06:14 PM
 
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We just had a hardcore power outage for 5 DAYS!

I was hand washing cloth diapers in ice cold water

heating and cooking on our wood burning stove

no lights at night other than spare candles

And I only yelled once, but at my husband, for being a complainer and bringing me down when I was working my ass off to keep everyone else's spirits up!

But I was very patient with Emma under such trying circumstances.

So nice to be back online, I must say!
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#107 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 07:54 PM
 
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Last Sunday was a blowup, horrible day that I'm just going to dismiss because I was PMS-ing like a crazy person. Since then, things have been very quiet around here. I haven't yelled at Paddy, and of course he has been calmer and much more behaved. Funny how that works! I am very proud of him especially for not messing around with the Xmas tree!
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#108 of 112 Old 11-30-2006, 11:04 PM
 
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I am a late joiner but need to be here. Nice to meet everyone!!

I am a newly home mom. After 16 years of working fulltime outside the home as a nurse and now working fulltime inside the home and only 2 evenings a week. And it is wonderful and stressful and a blessing and a b@#$% all rolled into one. I have never spent so much time in my house with my kids. It is where I want to be. But dang its so hard at times. Today I finally went to town for 20 minutes totally alone (dh with boys) even though youngest wanted to go badly I stood up for me and said no. Today I have noticed the yelling is down. I have a temper and I know it and I'm not proud of it. I am going to try so hard with each of your help. Thank goodness I'm not a spanker or hitter. Just a yeller which is equally bad and needs to be controlled.
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#109 of 112 Old 12-01-2006, 01:56 AM
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WOOT!

No yelling, two days in a row! Just calm nice normal days. No TV is *really* helping both of our attitudes I think. I'm also taking calms forte because my nerves have been totally shot recently and I think that's one of the reasons for the constant breakdowns I've been having. It's a start
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#110 of 112 Old 12-01-2006, 06:37 PM
 
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I'm a late starter. Apparently I got this really awesome idea that had already been done Here's what I posted on my brilliant thread idea:

So far, today has been great. We have been dealing with huge disrespectful issues with ds and nothing was working, and yelling just made it worse. Ds and I struck a deal. He will work on being respectful, and I will work on not yelling. We are allowed to calmly remind each other that we are breaking our deal. Today, I reminded him (and myself) about our deal and asked him "Deal? Or no deal?" He happily replied "Deal!" One time today I started to raise my voice, immediately caught myself, and said "Ds, oops! I'm not supposed to yell! I forgot our deal."

There's already a lot of posts on here in a week. We may need to have a new thread each week or month, otherwise it may get too long to keep up. Any thoughts on this from those of you who've been "no yelling" since Thanksgiving?
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#111 of 112 Old 12-06-2006, 02:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a late starter. Apparently I got this really awesome idea that had already been done Here's what I posted on my brilliant thread idea:

So far, today has been great. We have been dealing with huge disrespectful issues with ds and nothing was working, and yelling just made it worse. Ds and I struck a deal. He will work on being respectful, and I will work on not yelling. We are allowed to calmly remind each other that we are breaking our deal. Today, I reminded him (and myself) about our deal and asked him "Deal? Or no deal?" He happily replied "Deal!" One time today I started to raise my voice, immediately caught myself, and said "Ds, oops! I'm not supposed to yell! I forgot our deal."

There's already a lot of posts on here in a week. We may need to have a new thread each week or month, otherwise it may get too long to keep up. Any thoughts on this from those of you who've been "no yelling" since Thanksgiving?
Tanya, that was a great idea! I wonder if it's too complex to try with my two year old. I'll stop using the "pissed mommy voice" if he'll stop kicking at me during diaper changes.

~Nay

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
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#112 of 112 Old 12-06-2006, 02:57 AM
 
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Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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