No yelling challenge - Mothering Forums
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Gentle Discipline > No yelling challenge
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar AntoninBeGonin 07:18 PM 11-23-2006
Momma of Monkeys gave me this idea Who is up for a week long no yelling challenge? Today is Thanksgiving so it's the perfect day to start.


Soundhunter's Avatar Soundhunter 08:16 PM 11-23-2006
I've been doing really good the past few weeks, I think my post partum hormones are chilling out and Emma's also chilling out, plus I've been meditating and working on mindful living which helps immensely.

But....every now and then I still snap for a word or two, then catch mysef and stop and apologize.

I'm up for the challenge of a week, because I feel like I can really do it now. How does a challenge work? What happens if we screw up?
lincap's Avatar lincap 09:42 PM 11-23-2006
I'm up for a challenge... need some tips for relaxing.
girlsmamma2's Avatar girlsmamma2 11:30 PM 11-23-2006
I'd love to join in too! GREAT idea! I've been having a really hard time lately with this. Most recently tonight during bath time when the girls were playing with the door and my 2 yo rammed the door into my 4yo's foot. Dh AND i yelled at her, after a whole day of frustration. I've been feeling just awful about this and I'm starting right now.

I'd love tips for relaxing too. My problem seems to be I hit the anger roof right away. Like there is no time b/w act and anger to try and calm down. I hatehatehate it.
witchbaby's Avatar witchbaby 02:08 AM 11-24-2006
i'm completely up for it. i've really been working this week on being more respectful of the kids and trying to calm myself before dealing with stressfull situations.
Collin'sMama's Avatar Collin'sMama 02:32 AM 11-24-2006
I'm in too. I don't exactly yell, but I use too firm of a voice if that makes any sense. I want to be actually calm in what I say since Collin can sense the tension in my voice even when I try to hide it.
hellyaellen's Avatar hellyaellen 02:38 AM 11-24-2006
i'm up for it.
Treasuremapper's Avatar Treasuremapper 02:38 AM 11-24-2006
Sign me up!
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar AntoninBeGonin 03:44 AM 11-24-2006
I thought maybe we could each post how we did at the end of each day (no cheating! LOL) and just encourage each other to either keep up the good work or try harder If we have tips that work we can post those, too.

I'll go first since Ds is in bed. We went to Dh's aunt's and uncle's for dinner. Ds spent every 2 minutes (like clockwork ) of the first 60 minutes coming home asking to nurse. I never raised my voice or even sounded unpleasant and I owe that to this challenge. It's good for me to have a goal.

CharlieBrown's Avatar CharlieBrown 04:42 AM 11-24-2006
i'm in and will start tomorrow fresh!
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar AntoninBeGonin 01:26 PM 11-24-2006
Good morning! Ds woke up unexpectedly last night and spent the night in our bed. Between him and lil' sissie I'm drained completely dry. Still haven't yelled though so that's good.

Oh yeah and if you 'snap' instead of yell you can also join the challenge. This is for anyone who wants to work on how they verbally discipline.

rmzbm's Avatar rmzbm 01:47 PM 11-24-2006
I'm in!
blsilva's Avatar blsilva 03:14 PM 11-24-2006
Me too!
Mialsse's Avatar Mialsse 04:31 PM 11-24-2006
I'm in - a day late but still in!

I've already been "not so good" today. Three TIRED kids, in a crowded store, all throwing an attitude at the same time ... I snapped at them, and we left. They're all napping now (tired, tired kids), so we'll start fresh when they wake up.

Having this goal, and accountability will be good
LynnS6's Avatar LynnS6 04:59 PM 11-24-2006
I'm a day late, but I'm in. It never helps when I yell (it's more of a gut reaction for me), and I do need to work on it.

I've been up for 2 hours and haven't yelled yet .
Soundhunter's Avatar Soundhunter 05:19 PM 11-24-2006
We had a great day yesterday. Emma's been going to sleep REALLY late recently, as in midnight, but last night she went to sleep at 8:30....and slept until 9 am today. This means I had some down time to read last night, and lots of sleep bodes well for her behavior today.

The post partum hormones thing really messed me up with her, I think, though it really began in the last couple of months of pregnancy. I finally am starting to feel normal again.

Makes me wonder how often our lack of patience if it's super often might be about our own health.
zeldabee's Avatar zeldabee 05:30 PM 11-24-2006
I'll give it a go...I'm also not yelling lately so much as I'm snapping. My sister had Sprogly overnight last night, and today while I'm at work (DCP is off, but I've got to work). So I've had my "me" time for the year ...I can start fresh.

Sprogly has been so "good" lately, too...just so much more responsive and receptive, I need to follow suit.
Mama Poot's Avatar Mama Poot 06:10 PM 11-24-2006
I'll try it. I need to. I yell way too much
The4OfUs's Avatar The4OfUs 06:14 PM 11-24-2006
Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin View Post
Oh yeah and if you 'snap' instead of yell you can also join the challenge. This is for anyone who wants to work on how they verbally discipline.

I'm more of a snapper than a yeller (though I have done both), so I'm in - I could always stand to snap less...
bobica's Avatar bobica 06:20 PM 11-24-2006
I'm in. a little late in the game but i haven't yelled since yesterday! I'm also quite the snapper- we may have to have a no snapping/sniping challenge next! :
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar AntoninBeGonin 06:30 PM 11-24-2006
Originally Posted by bobica View Post
I'm in. a little late in the game but i haven't yelled since yesterday! I'm also quite the snapper- we may have to have a no snapping/sniping challenge next! :
Great idea

aywilkes's Avatar aywilkes 06:55 PM 11-24-2006
Count me in! Just what I need!! So will we check in each day or something?
JamesMama's Avatar JamesMama 07:51 PM 11-24-2006
Count me in! I haven't been with James all day (shopping) but I'm still in for the rest of the week!

But I'm like Kelli, I have a short fuse...I'm working on it though. Seeing if DH's ins covers therapy...
AntoninBeGonin's Avatar AntoninBeGonin 08:13 PM 11-24-2006
Originally Posted by aywilkes View Post
Count me in! Just what I need!! So will we check in each day or something?
Yep. Everything's in post 9

CharlieBrown's Avatar CharlieBrown 11:04 PM 11-24-2006
so far today has been good!
mommajb's Avatar mommajb 11:13 PM 11-24-2006
I'm in.

I really need this. Just reading the thread made me more careful. I suppose I am more of a snapper, and it is more directed at my older two. The little ones wear me out and I snap. Well, they are about to go to read/rest/bed and I counted 3 snaps today. The sad thing is nobody was doing anything 'wrong', just moving slowly when we needed to get going, being kids, living in the moment.

I like the idea of taking stock each day.
Think of Winter's Avatar Think of Winter 11:43 PM 11-24-2006
I'm in. I need all the help I can get. I'm a snapper, and I get louder and louder and louder waiting for a response from ds.
eldadeedlit's Avatar eldadeedlit 11:54 PM 11-24-2006
Late, but in!
girlsmamma2's Avatar girlsmamma2 01:26 AM 11-25-2006
ooooo, I did soooo good today! No snapping or yelling at all! I tried a few techniques I researched last night (telling dd what she COULD do instead of could not, naming her feelings for her, teling her what older dd liked and made her happy, praising her) worked wonders. I knew all this before but really thought about the damage I was beginning to do by NOT using them or taking the time to use them. You could feel dd's energy change. I only hope I can keep it up tomorrow because the kiddos both went to bed an hour and a half late. that means grumpies for tomorow.

and whooops, i kind of redirected the anger at my dh a couple times! . poor guy. Well, we were out in the wood picking a Christmas tree and I wanted a gigantic one and he chose that subject to bicker with me my GIGANTIC Christmas tree though!

i'm going for day two in the morning...boy does it feel good!

How's everyone else doing?
witchbaby's Avatar witchbaby 03:06 AM 11-25-2006
i will preface this by saying this was not our average friday. usually by friday i'm completely fried from being the only adult 90% of the time-- we had thanksgiving with my family yesterday, so i got some time off, plus the husband only worked half-day today, so that helped.
in any case, i did really well today. no yelling! i'd remind myself when they (usually k) did something i normally yell for and really try to talk to them/her respectfully. it was tough at times (k has a new fun habit of running shrieking through the house randomly), but i'm really proud of myself. i really hope i can keep it up!
love and support to all of you working on this!
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